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Summer_Twilight
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21 Jun 2012, 10:07 am

AnnettaMarie wrote:

When someone adds "you know" to a sentence all the time. My mom does it, and so I do it, too. It's really annoying, I can never catch myself in time.

My sister does that too. There is a time and a place to use it but she really over uses it if she is annoyed. She also has a terrible attitude to it all works out. Whenever someone says it, it shows a sign that the other person can be arrogance. It can also be a very condescending way of talking to someone.

EG- "You know, I am getting really sick of you doing this or that."

I blew up at my sister onetime because she didn't really seem to understand my situation.

lancefilip
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27 Jun 2012, 2:15 am

When being approached by someone who dehumanising you calls you " Hey, buddy or chief or pal or guy or hey you." These terms sound to me as ways of making me less then human. As if "pardon me", "Sir..." or even "Hey Mister" are so difficult?! I literally will tell someone 'call me Chief again & we're gonna have issues' & it actually has had former employers question me, but once I explain my logic every employer has always backed me up on how I feel. Maybe it's because I am in the bar industry in Chicago, but I appreciate every employer that has sided with me.

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Irishcream
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27 Jun 2012, 5:14 am

1401b wrote:

-disclaimer: all instances of the word "you" is intended as purely fictional, and NOT intended to offend any persons, living, dead or reading this post, and is purely coincidental.
Or something.

I used to buy into the concepts, slander, and sophistry that haterz would regurgitate, apparently at random.
I really tested whether I was wrong or weird or awful. And I still do as a first Pavlovian response.
But there’s a fundamental logical flaw in automatically assuming everyone else is always right.
...If I can remember.

- ‘Boy somebody got excited.’ ... (wow, shoot down my balloon)
- ‘Why can’t you?’ ... (how should I know? why don’t you tell me about gravity, and if I can punch lame holes in your explanation does it mean you’ll suddenly float away?)
- ‘Relax.’ ... (gah, shut up)
- ‘You’re just making excuses.’ ... (you asked me for an answer, and I’m respecting you enough to dedicate valuable mental run-time to answer you, so try not to call me a liar too. If it was just that I didn’t want to do it, I would have said, “Because, I don’t want to do it.”)
- ‘Nobody else has a problem with it.’ ... (oh, I’m the only person on the planet that does, so I’m either the most bizarre freak ever, or a liar, huh?)
- ‘You make everything complicated.’ ... (*blink blink* I make the world complicated? The car you drive every day has about 30,000 parts that I didn’t make, but you think I’m the one causing it?)
- ‘You’re wrong.’ ... (“Well Mr. 14.01b, I don’t know what the right answer is, and have no guesses on even a wrong answer, but it can’t even possibly be what you said.”)
- ‘I’ve never had a problem.’ ... (or maybe you have, and are just too dumb to know it.)
- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.)
- ‘You could just (insert lame idea here) ... (over the course of my life I’ve spent approx. 2 million times more on this than your 15 seconds of contemplation, so thanks for imagining neither I nor anyone else on the planet has thought of that already, AND for getting mad at me for not instantly re-devoting all my current & future life-resources pursuing your thoughtless platitude.

A great past, thanks 1401b

Irish C

Kalika
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27 Jun 2012, 7:22 pm

being told that I need to "calm down" when I am NOT angry or upset about something.

HisDivineMajesty
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27 Jun 2012, 8:10 pm

Kalika wrote:

being told that I need to "calm down" when I am NOT angry or upset about something.

This is a very important one to me. Usually, people tell me I'm angry when I'm not. And usually, they are angry at that moment. A few months ago, someone wanted to argue with me. I remained very calm and reasonable, while she drew out emotional arguments and tried to guilt trip me. Suddenly, she drew that one out. She was shouting because she was angry, and ran off angry a few minutes later, but apparently I was the one in that argument who had emotional issues.

And to think it was an argument over local access to data.

yellowtamarin
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27 Jun 2012, 9:43 pm

ECJ wrote:

when people tell me I'm "being silly" when I say something affects me.

Yeah, my best mate has started saying "I suspect you are just being a bit dramatic about that" lately. :roll:

AngelofDreams
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28 Jun 2012, 1:31 am

- People using vulgar words when attacking other people
- "You are/were angry" (I've received this from a family member whenever I wasn't angry, and they think they know me better than I do.)
- "My life's a disaster because all of my children are handicapped!" (No joking. My mother has said this twice about me and my two siblings, and I heard her say it the second time over the phone with somebody. I was literally boiling with anger, but kept my calm.)
- When people react in a concerned or pitiful way whenever I am sad or crying. Even if they're meaning well, I get put off by it.
- "You're too sensitive" (It's just you who don't have a heart unlike me.)
- "You are too old for that" (When it concerns my Pokemon obsession.)
- I had someone make vulgar remarks at me, just because I am Swedish. Some people seem to be too thick to understand that not all Swedish women are s*x crazies who engage in intimate acts. I blocked him after I chewed him out for a while because I had a minor meltdown. What a creep!
- "I think I might have Autism or Asperger's myself" (Said by someone who's perfectly capable of social interactions.)
- "You read too much into it" (Usually when I want to research about Autism or Asperger's on the web, and I find negative articles about it. I especially hate those about NT parents who acts all dramatic and think they're worth all the pity they can get, not even caring about how their children feel like.)
- "Nevermind" (I got this occassionally during 7th to 9th grade at school, by a small bunch of female classmates who tried to act cool and patronize me. They usually said something my way, and since I also have a hearing impairment I usually miss most of the things people say, so I'd say "What?" since I wanted them to repeat what they wanted. Then they'd play the "Nevermind" card, treating me like some ret*d.)
- I'm annoyed when people won't leave me alone when I want to spend my time by myself, thinking I'm being cast out, or that they pity me.
- "You look older than your age" (I remember having someone guess my age when I was a teenager (14 years old). They thought I was 18-20, because I was tall for a girl that age. I told them my real age and they act surprised by it. When I'm thinking back on it, said person was a young man, so I'm being suspicious that he was probably trying to hit on me. *shudder*)
- I get annoyed by people who complain about my clothing style or hairstyle. I haven't cared or bothered to get a haircut, and someone had to tell my mother that I needed one, like I was some object needing of a fix to be able to put out on display.

AspieOtaku
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28 Jun 2012, 2:39 am

"what is wrong with you" "what is wrong with your brain" "why are you such a freak" "I think your interests are stupid" These are the usual lines that push my buttons. Also sometimes "why dont you have a girl friend" also another one but not so much heh.

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NeueZiel
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28 Jun 2012, 7:14 am

"God, please just shut up."
Have the honor of being told this one irl and online

FMX
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28 Jun 2012, 8:34 am

1401b wrote:

- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.)

I've learned to expect those, but they're still so true for me!

I mostly let these things go in one ear and out the other now, but some things still push my buttons if I hear them enough.

Using "you" when they mean "I", eg. (after describing an issue they're dealing with) "you've got to just hope for the best". Firstly, it's a subtle way of not taking responsibility for their statement. Secondly, it implies that I agree (or should agree) with them. I just want to snap back "no! Maybe you've got to just hope for the best, but I'll decide for myself what I'll do, thank you very much". But I know they really mean "I", so I don't say this unless the person has really pissed me off already.

Similarly, using "we" instead of "you". That not only has the same problem as above, but sometimes it's genuinely ambiguous whether the person means "I", "you" or "we". Eg. (after a previous misunderstanding) "sometimes we say things we don't mean" - are they telling me that they said something they didn't mean or are they implying I said something I didn't mean or that we both did?

hartzofspace
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28 Jun 2012, 11:24 am

AngelofDreams wrote:

- I'm annoyed when people won't leave me alone when I want to spend my time by myself, thinking I'm being cast out, or that they pity me.

I hate that! It never occurs to them that they are the ones who are intruding - they are so sure that everyone craves constant companionship!

AngelofDreams wrote:

- I get annoyed by people who complain about my clothing style or hairstyle. I haven't cared or bothered to get a haircut, and someone had to tell my mother that I needed one, like I was some object needing of a fix to be able to put out on display.

That is a pet peeve of mine, too. I had an ex friend who, upon seeing me wear a wide brimmed straw hat, started encouraging me to turn up the brim at the corner to look more attractive or something. I had to patiently explain that turning up the brim would defeat the purpose of the hat which was to keep the sun off my face. She looked puzzled.

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AScomposer13413
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30 Jun 2012, 3:42 pm

There are a few that come to mind...

- "It's not that hard a task to do!" Two responses come to mind when I get this comment:

1) "If I didn't think the task was difficult in some way, I wouldn't have a reason to complain about it!"
2) "Clearly it isn't for you, so don't expect me to follow the same mindset you have! (hopefully calmly)"

- "You don't get it!!" followed by either nothing or a rant on how I don't understand "basic" things :roll: (If it gets explained, I'm over it)

- "Don't worry about it!" following a joke that was told in the vicinity!

- Comments that have swear words in them that could be just as coherent or intelligent without them.

- Any comment that implies people on the spectrum lack empathy (I'll save that rant for another forum)

- "Calm down!" Usually I get this one when I get really excited!

...I think that's it for now!

Mindslave
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05 Aug 2012, 4:13 pm

"You don't know what you're talking about" Or maybe you don't like my explanation

"You talk too much" This one only bothers me if the person never says anything. If I wanted to sit in silence, I'd read a book by myself.

"Calm down" I'm not mad; you're just too sensitive.

"Gee, tell me how you really feel" I JUST DID!

"My cousin has/I know someone with Asperger's" So does that mean you know me, since all people with Asperger's are the same?

I also hate it when, upon finding out I have Asperger's, I get talked to like I'm 5. Just because I have Asperger's doesn't mean I'm stupid.

patrickmoler
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06 Aug 2012, 12:16 am

No specific lines, but as I gather we're all pointing out humoring and condesending comments really irritate us. I just hate that. Like If a person says they don't give a crap. Okay, that's fine. Though when they put on a poorly acted attempt of niceness as if you're a lil' kid playing grown up, as someone said earlier, it makes my teeth grit.

patrickmoler
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06 Aug 2012, 2:15 am

1401b wrote:

- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
.

I forgot about these. I find these things very irritated when said. I'll analyze an event for 2 seconds or think about something while making coffee. It's rarely any effort yet people act like "whoa....he's not actually smarter than me. He's actually obsessive and I'm too important to pay attention."

It's like what the Asperger's poster boy Sherlock Holmes said, "What is it like in those empty lil' heads of yours?" haha

hanyo
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06 Aug 2012, 3:05 am

When you say you can't do something and people say "just make yourself do it".

Saying "I have that too" when yours is severe and theirs is mild.

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