NOT returning emails, texts, phone calls, etc.

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My friend is an master at NOT returning emails, texts, phone calls. He knows it annoys me, hurts my feelings, etc... but he's still inconsistent about it on a day by day basis. Some days, he will talk to me for 3 hours on the phone and return my texts within 15-30 minutes. Some weeks, 4 or 5 days go by without contact from him. This is frustrating because he is my sleepover friend with benefits and we are "monogamous" for now. We have discussed it being okay for me to have another lover because he's so inconsistent but we haven't come to a clear decision yet. All I want is for him to be more consistent about returning communication ---even if he just says "I don't feel like talking for 3 days." Anything is better than not knowing... Any suggestions? I've told him a zillion times I feel devalued and disrespected when I'm ignored but he says it's not personal..it feels personal.

Maybe he has feelings too. It's not always about what you want. More importantly, if he is a sleepover friend with benefits, it means you two are not dating. So why should he talk to you every day? If you don't want to make the commitment, then why should he? He might be more consistent about returning communication if you were consistent about what you want from him versus what you are giving him.

If you have talked to him and he does not change, I do not know what else you can do. If you told him you feel hurt and disrespected and he doesnt care, I think there is a BIG issue. I cannot understand how someone who loves you can be so willing to share you with someone else. I know this might not be what you want to hear, but I dont think your "friend" loves you very much. I would say move on.

If you've told him lots of times and things haven't changed, it could a classic case of Aspie shutdowns to me. If that's what it is at the end of the day, he's not ignoring you - he's just taking time to recharge from all the social interaction he endures. It isn't something he can control and, therefore, is something that needs to be accepted. The more you talk to him during these periods trying to get an answer out of him, the more you push him away. You need to give him that space to recharge, uninterrupted no matter how long that time period.

As well, Mindslave's point checks out - you're in a friends with benefits with him. You're technically not in a committed relationship, so he shouldn't really be expected to up the communication unless you're both planning on boosting it to a relationship. Going from that angle, if you want more commitment from him, you might have to talk to him about making you two official.

I think he behaves that way so that you don't expect a commitment from him. Be honest with yourself, and if you want a commitment, start respecting yourself and valuing yourself and stop answering his emails, calls and texts - for good. Also, chances are he's busy on the side on some days; he may be looking for a potentially serious relationship. No man who's benefitting from the situation will tell you not to waste your time on him; that's a conclusion you have to reach on your own, and stick to.

I'm almost willing to bet he's got another friend with benefits on the side you don't know about.

There is. Research has shown (for decades now) that when a man is too busy for a woman, it's likely there's another woman or women in the background. So it's a reasonable, sensible assumption and a thought to take into account and see how it fits or doesn't fit the rest of the context.

@Mindslave- believe me, it's all about him. It's always about him. His wants, his needs, his rules, his boundaries, etc...
In our relationship, I do 90% and he does 10% and he gets all his needs met (including his needs for privacy/downtime) . There is definitely not another woman (or man) in his life. He has time management issues and needs alot of down time. He's not even interested in doing the work it takes to meet someone else. Not a chance.