The Doctor Complex

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Okay I'm not really sure if this belongs in social skills or in Haven but it seems to be a social issue so I'm going post it here.

Since I was around 14 I've felt this over powering need to rescue people, mostly women and children. I'm not sure what causes it but I feel as though it is absolutely my responsibility to find the downtrodden among us and pick them up. In the last 3 years I've propped up a recovering meth addict and gotten her back on her feet, adopted her infant child of a deadbeat father(not based on attraction to the mother, I simply feel that no child should grow up without a positive male role model), and most recently have taken in a severely abused 18 year old girl to help her get away from her family and start a life. Again I want nothing from these people, not money or sex, I just feel like it's my job.

Is this something common in the community? Some of my friends tell me that it's a sign of my superiority complex, that it means I think I think I'm better than these girls but I really don't think I feel like that. Any experiences or advice you can share would be helpful

I feel the same, but exclusively about animals and nature, never humans. However, i honestly admire your commitment in a world that is full of greed, envy, and ruthless materialism.

Thank you for stating your appreciation, that genuinely makes me feel better about it. It's not easy and it's genuinely exhausting. I'm glad there is someone else out there that feels the same way, even if it is with a different segment of the world. I like to think I help but I never feel like I do enough and that eats me alive

I've always been like that too, but nowadays only with stray cats, because I'm very disappointed in humans. I'm extremely compassionate, even when it really spoils my personal interests. From humans I've only gotten used in retribution for my efforts. Stray cats do become spoilt rotten, but they continue treating me nicely.

I don't think those things are signs of a superiority complex at all. You sound like a good, righteous human being. Are you religious or atheist?

I think that some people may be drawn to the certain helping professions because many require logic. Also some people will be so focused on the logical process of helping, they won't become over powered by the situation.

I'm an atheist. I feel as though if there is a god that he doesn't seem very interested in actually doing the physical help. If he's the one leading me to do what I do, is of no interest to me. I prefer to think that i do it out of my own need, not because I'm puppet being pulled in these directions. I do tend to logic it out to the simplest way of viewing it (I.E. If I don't help these people then they probably won't receive help).

I don't intend this to try to convert you to anything but I just wanted to point this out.

What you've described is actually a very Jewish view of G-d. Unlike the Christian belief of G-d as a sort of personal butler, Judaism views the actions of humans as conduits for blessings from G-d. And the supreme one is protecting human life, as the Talmud records "Whosever saveth the life of one, it shall be as if he saved the lives of all mankind"

I've always really avoided religion. Not so much because I feel it's ALL wrong. I don't agree with everything but I do think there are some points to be learned from. When I was younger I was always more fond of Judaism than most other religions and even now live in a largely Jewish neighborhood and go to a Jewish gym. I just worry that if I tie what I try to do to a religion that it gives it a purpose, that I'm courting favor with some mystical being instead of trying to focus on helping people. To me it really twists it all in a way I'm not entirely comfortable.

Very interesting. I can def see the Jewish influence.

Do you think that most people that do things like me do them for religious reasons? I try to keep my motivations as close to my own ambitions as I can. I feel like religion puts a reward on what I'm doing and i feel like that taints it. Even if the reward is spiritual or related to an after life. Do you think I have a point with this or does it sound like Atheist nonsense? Are you yourself Jewish or just very knowledgeable about Judaism?

I'm perhaps similar in that I want to go in and fix professions that are failing people...

For example throughout high school and college I wanted to work as a psychologist and a teacher after seeing how badly these professions were failing me and people like me, I want to work as a sexual advisor or a mentor for disabled (especially autistic) adults for a similar reason - I see things and see that they could be done better, to help people better.

I do feel the need to guard people from harm (which I assume is to do with the characteristic of loyalty within AS/ASD), and I have helped people in the past - I worked as a student advisor for both sexuality and self-harm in college, ran a large online community for self-harmers, and had three people in my life with severe mental health problems where I took it upon myself to care for them. That is in the past though, too often helping these people would result in my becoming hurt or dragged down, I decided I didn't need to get that close to such people.

A craving for justice indeed appears to be rather a common feature of Autism.

Seems legit.

I do much the same thing. I tend to be a "fixer" in that I try to help those in need and make them better people. The bad thing is that it rarely ever works because most of them just want to keep on doing what they do that gets them into trouble to begin with. Logic only goes so far and once I have spent my logical arrow, there is simply nothing left in my quiver to shoot.

I also have a habit of fixing cars for people around me who are poor and can't afford to pay me. I just make them buy parts and then try to make their car as safe as I can within their budget.

There seems to be a fine line between being helpful and being used. I've seen well meaning friends fall apart (financially, mentally) becasue people have taken advantage of their altruism. You need to be pretty savvy to be truly altruistic, because ending up in the gutter yourself isn't helpful to anyone.

'Superiority complex' sounds pejorative, I think it's more of a sense of wellbeing, of purpose and of content that one feels when they 'help' or 'fix' things for others. I mean, you probably wouldn't do it if you felt pretty awful afterwards, right? That's just part of being human. What's great about beign an autistic human is that we can more easily neglect all the social politics that often gets in the way of pursuing this outcome.

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I am not but I've lived among Jews.

I can't know your motives; but in the end, it doesn't matter. Your doing good.