"You've got a lot to learn about the world"

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What does this mean, I've been told this soo many times.

Examples;

Couple years ago when I was studying accountancy I learned that a bunch of people from my class were cheating their assignments by having their daddies/daddies accountant do the work. So I approached the professor and told him about the cheating. He told me "I had to learn how the adult world worked" and "that if I made an issue out of this, I'd be in a world of hurt". So I left the classroom crying and quit the study that afternoon flabbergasted by the idea that -I- don't know how the world works. This was a big part of me eventually getting my auti diagnosis.

Last week; I'm driving my (completely legal, "most" scooters in the Netherlands go too fast) scooter, and I see an old man 100 meters ahead of me walking on the bike/scooter lane. I watch him step over from the side/grass to the middle of the bike/scooter lane, so I slow down and curve around him and which point he says/yells "hey act normal and drive slow!".
So I stop, because I know I'm 100% legal, not driving too fast, watching all sides/people around me, and ask him "What do you mean? I'm driving completely legal and I passed by you slow and didn't hit you or anything".
So he goes "No! you need to shut up and listen to what I say!
So I go, "Well if you care so much about your safety, why did I see you step to the middle of the lane instead of to the side, where there's 2 meters wide of flat grass, clearly you set up your own complaining.
So he goes "You've got a lot to learn about the world!" and he started walking away.
I started my scooter and drove away, again thinking "what the hell do people mean with me not understanding the world?"

I have something like this happen pretty much everytime I go outside.. sometimes I choose to ignore it because I'm already too far away by the time I process what just happened. But pretty much everytime I -could- tell someone who's doing something wrong that -they're- doing something wrong (riding on the wrong side of the road, running red lights, not signalling when turning, putting themselves in a dangerous situation) and end up being told that -I'm- the guy who doesn't get "it".

Seriously, what do people mean with that.. I mean I -know- about the world, and when I explain the facts to people all of a sudden I don't know it anymore? Is the way to "learn the world" to ignore facts and let people do -wrong- stuff? Or am I really wrong somehow in these situations, am I missing something?

As far as the accounting goes it basically relies on the fact that most people cheat to get ahead. You know how the old saying goes.."It's all about who you know". People like to take the easy way out and the fact that your professor was so angry about it points to the fact that he was probably getting "kick backs" from said fathers.

Honesty is the best policy but there was situations where if you're honest, you'll be punished. Think of it as being a "whistle blower", yes you expose corruption but you usually loose your job/lively hood because of it.

It's just s**t some NTs say to excuse their bad and unempathic behaviour.

I get that, if 5 people commit a crime and 1 person talks the other 4 will be really pissed. But shouldn't "everyone else" be really happy/glad to that 1 guy because he got 4 (and himself) rulebreakers "off the streets"?

It's like the older I get the more I realize this world is built entirely 100% on BS, lies and breaking the supposed rules for yourself while holding everyone else against them.

Where are all the good and honest people? Where's this supposedly "fair chance" system our economies and politics are built on.

And the stupid thing is that the only people who seem to -really- care about this are the ones that get diagnoses with autism. There's no "problem" with us that I can't turn around and actually blame on everyone else's nonsensical way of looking at things like my problem in the first post. I'm starting to get the idea "we" are supposed to be the counter balance to the nonsense. Like, and this will sound weird but it's starting to make more sense, people with autism are the Jedi of this world, the practical/logical/systematical way we deal with things should be a big part of society, but over the last 50-60 years our way of thinking has been slowly been moved to the back and labeled as something bad.

Jeez, now I'll go really far and say that something like communism (the real theory, not the way it ended up being run hugely influenced by the elite who ran it as a scam rather than a real idealogy, much like capitalism is too in reality) is by essence an autistic way of running things. I know this statement may look weird if you only know of communism via American schools and never really looked into the theory behind the practicality. I mean the thing they say is bad about communism is actually exactly not communism but capitalism within communism; a single party takes control and pretty much enslaves the people to have castles/riches built for them while the people live in poverty/fear of control by that single party. It's like going to the movies with 10 guys and 1 guy wants to see something different than the 9 people and that 1 guy gives as reason "well someone will be talking through the movie the entire time", but they decide to see the movie the 9 want anyway and that 1 guy of course ends up being the guy talking the whole time till the 9 agree to then just go see the movie that 1 guy wanted and then once the movie is finished the 1 guy goes "see I told you that first movie would be ruined and that "my" movie could be watched in silence". And now everytime they go see a movie that one guy goes "remember that time that movie you wanted to see got ruined by some guy".

Anyone remember the occupy movement? hunderds of cities across the planet, millliioons of people went onto the streets. Remember how they wanted to do something because of this and some tax raises on a couple thousand -extremely rich- (who'd still be the richest people after those taxes mind you not), and those couple thousands said "well that will -ruin- the planet, we can foresee that, we better do it our way".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c91usT4P1u0
That episode got edited later and no longer holds this end. (I wonder why).

http://screwtapeblogs.wordpress.com/200 ... s-a-toast/

It's human nature to cover things up and attempt to scare people who want to expose that. It's essentially a fight or flight response.

Don't take it to heart and don't let it ruin your day. Pick your battles and figure out what ones are worth it to ride to the bitter end.

Perhaps there's some truth to the Biblical notion that Satan is in charge of the earth. Thus, when people talk about "the real world," they're really talking about "Satan's world," a world they have succumbed to and now embrace. They are corrupt and they want to drag others down with them. Or, to put it in a non-religious context, "a cynic is nothing more than a disappointed optimist."
Your professor is a fool. I hope his karma catches up with him someday.

I think there are some wrongdoings out there that become so commonplace that they almost become the norm and even expected. There's a heap of traffic rules that I seldom see people obey; it's commonplace to ignore them. I think "the world" follows what the rest of society is doing in order to determine right from wrong rather than sitting down and theoretically finding out what IS really right and wrong. The world and the way things should be aren't always travelling on the same course.

The older you get the more cynical and apathetic about the world you get too. They know wholeheartedly that the cheating is wrong but they've stopped caring enough to take issue and stand up against it because their cynicism tells them it will change nothing or make things worse. I guess they consider anyone who hasn't gotten to the cynical apathetic stage as immature or naive.

Oh, yeah, I get that a lot from my relatives. Especially when I overwhelm them with logic which they don't seem to get much.

"You have a lot to learn about the world" means "you need to learn to read between the lines of the world". It is always referring to the human, social world and just means that you don't understand the way the "game" is played.

yep, and I agree with a lot of these responses so far.

There are many NTs who have come to the same conclusion actually ; particularly those in their 40s.

This also hints that those people that you meet in daily life, are also suggesting that you are taking rules too literally, and following them to the letter. Many people you meet might think that you should "lighten up" or "chill out". If they encounter someone with a robotic sense of following rules and strong sense of morality that exposes them to be taken advantage by other people, then they would also say "you've got a lot to learn in this World". I don't think anyone is trying to play any games or use any secret language with you, they are concerned that people are going to take advantage of your honesty, your strict adherence to rules, because you will be disappointed when you have expectations of other people.

But you probably knew that anyway !

Gelukkig nieuwjaar / Happy New Year.

You have two very different examples here, I'll start with the second one first.

I don't know your traffic laws, but it sounds like the guy KNOWINGLY was walking in the wrong lane. His statement should be read as a cranky guy who wanted to get his own way, and you should'nt pay him any more mind. Honestly, my only question is why you stopped to put up with his abuse.

The second one is a live issue. Imagine for a second if this cheating was followed up on....I'm not sure how it works there, but if there was a serious cheating scandal at what sounds like a university, there would be all sorts of human waste products everywhere. If the work really was done by who you think it is, why would the professor screw his university to follow up on a take-home assignment? How do you think the parents (who presumably are established in the business community) would view such a case?

There is truth to this claim, if you are AS. My biggest (slow-motion) epiphany happened when I realized that I have AS (as do lots of other technical minds) and that most people aren't like us. A lot (most?) of how the world operates is based on NT thought and behavior. If you haven't already, read up on psychology and sociology. Look at how people react emotionally to technical things like economics and biology, simply because of the emotional impact of dispassionately studying humans. You will learn why NTs are the way they are, and that will allow you to navigate the world better.

This doesn't make sense, and such a misunderstanding won't help anyone. By definition, empathy is a NT, not an AS behavior. Empathy means you imagine being in someone else's mind and experience. When the OP was trying to revoke other students' unearned grades, that would be seen as a very cold-hearted and unemphatic thing to do. If you were in their position, would you want someone to tell on you? (that is emphatic thinking). That's the kind of AS thing that greatly upsets NT people, even though it makes perfect logical sense.

^ Yes. And I've been studying "empathy" as it applies to sociology/psychology/autism. Empathy has to do with theory of mind. Sympathy is probably used more universally by people to be kind to one another, whether or not we can imagine ourselves in their position.

I think a lot of what this thread is about is the expectation to act like you're supposed to. This is how all societies work autonomously and this is also the reason why some people are rejected for not fitting in. Everyone experiences this kind of rejection, if only for a moment, but some people experience it every day. Let's say that a police officer was walking around in a perfectly correct uniform except it was hot pink. I wouldn't believe that person was a real police officer, would you? This person would be breaking a social rule, and we would all reject him or her for failing as a social actor.

In the same way, I am rejected as a social actor if my neurological disease is really bad one day and I slur when I talk. The OP is rejected as a social actor when he is an unexpectedly honest student with no gain to himself. He is supposed to be aligned on a team with the other students and "telling" on them is viewed as a betrayal of their trust. Doing the right thing is not supposed to be as important as keeping their loyalty. So "what kind of student" the OP is now is in question, just like "what kind of police officer" is in question when a police officer wears a pink uniform, or "what kind of researcher" slurs when she talks.

For more about this, see Erving Goffman's "The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life".

I think this is the best answer, because I was thinking, or rather translating it to same sentence as "don't be so naive". yellowtamarin said the same thing I think.

Oh and Voorspoeding Nuwejaar ~ Prosperous/Happy New Year

If we had an "officer" in an incorrect uniform, that would be a serious problem. The entire reason to have uniforms in this case is so that we, as members of society, know who has authority of some sort in a police emergency. That's not a social rule, that's a legal rule, fairly cut and dry. If I saw someone wearing a pink uniform directing traffic, I'd probably call the emergency services, and rightfully so, since they have someone running a protest or someone doing something illegal (if not both at the same time).

I don't believe the OP's first example was about "betraying trust", it was that going down the road of accusing people of cheating would bring absolutely nothing good for anyone.