Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Meridian191
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 63

19 Mar 2013, 3:32 am

I have to take a bus -- which is often crowded -- every weekday. Because I've done this many, many times now, I've become somewhat accustomed to it. However, there are certain situations that still sometimes make me anxious. One is when I have to sit in a non-window seat. That essentially means I don't have the benefit of passing scenery and means I'm forced to stare at perfect strangers for long periods. It also means that my racing heart is sometimes visible through my clothes (I've always been too skinny), and I'm sure a person sitting inches from me would be able to see the flapping material.

I also dislike it when the bus fills up with a bunch of schoolkids. As we know, teenagers will laugh at almost anything, including someone who thinks that they are going to get laughed at. Sometimes they make stupid comments as well. I know it's all nonsense, but the negative attention makes me blush, which generally sucks because it advertises the fact that you are uncomfortable, which leads to more comments, and so on.

I have adopted a 'hear no evil' approach to dealing with this -- I listen to the radio using earphones. That way, not only can't I hear what they're saying, but I'm not *expected* to hear anything. The only problem is that all the adults look at me funny for wearing earphones (it's probably considered anti-social). Can't win, can you?

Can anyone with bus/mass transport experience give me anything that's worked for you to reduce anxiety?



Sharkgirl
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 335
Location: Under The Sea

19 Mar 2013, 7:21 am

Crank the music up loud favourite songs work well (if you are wearing headphones others expect you will be absorbed with listening to it).
Wear sunglasses.
Play with your phone especially if you can access Internet on it, or read a book.
Make sure you are listening to / reading things you love that will help keep you happily distracted.


_________________
Never, Never, Never Give Up


Meridian191
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 63

19 Mar 2013, 7:43 am

My stupid phone carrier (Vodafone) doesn't give me reliable Internet reception on the road. That is true, if a good song comes on I feel much more relaxed.



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

19 Mar 2013, 10:38 am

Your heart beats out of your chest? I'd probably find myself staring too. You should have a Doc look at that. For someone who is paranoid enough to think everyone on the bus is going to stare at him you sure don't seem too concerned about your health. :wink:



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

19 Mar 2013, 12:13 pm

I live in the second highest populated country in the world
Everything is over crowded here.
The roads, bus, trains
There is a mad rush of people
But i never experienced any such thoughts
I think you need to divert your mind about what they are thinking, looking at etc


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


WrongWay
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

20 Mar 2013, 1:17 am

Wow I didn't know people found wearing earphones strange. I've been doing so for many years, though where I live strangers rarely ever talk to each other on public transport.


_________________
A smile costs nothing :)


Meridian191
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 63

20 Mar 2013, 10:51 pm

'Your heart beats out of your chest? I'd probably find myself staring too. You should have a Doc look at that. For someone who is paranoid enough to think everyone on the bus is going to stare at him you sure don't seem too concerned about your health.'


The heart thing comes from running (which, by the way, is an excellent exercise that I encourage), which has probably made it beat harder instead of faster. I don't believe it is a medical problem, it just happens whenever I'm scared. Because I find it hard to put on a healthy amount of weight, there is basically nothing between my heart and my skin. (Note to self: work harder on pecs :lol:). I never wear sunglasses on my chest anymore because there was one time when they were jiggling like it was an earthquake. The heartbeat thing usually happens when there are attractive women around (I know, this is pretty immature :oops: ).



Schneekugel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,612

21 Mar 2013, 4:42 am

I never heard of, that wearing earphones in a surrounding, where you know noone would be antisocial? O_o

Sorry, but I wouldnt care for that. So you are not hurting a person, that you dont even know, by wearing earphones instead of talking to him/her, what you wouldnt to anyway, because of not knowing that person. So as long as you dont have your earphones that loud, that everyone is forced to listen to your music, its up to you. If people want to have someone to entertain them in the bus, they have to hire a clown.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

29 Mar 2013, 4:19 am

I, too, listen to the radio on headphones. It works wonders. I tend to keep the volume very low so that I can still hear people around me for safety reasons. If I listened loud (I never do.) then I'd likely be worried about not hearing someone I might want to avoid.

Sometimes I switch to a guided meditation mp3 & just close my eyes and do my thing. I'm not worried about what others think of me sitting with my eyes closed w/ crystals/meditation stones in my hands, because I stopped caring what other people think of me. Really, it's none of my business what they think of me. :P Also, no matter what they think, their thoughts don't affect me. Think about it.

Or I'll keep the radio volume very low, just to drown out background noise that tends to make me feel anxious and tense, and read a good book.

Or I'll browse the internet on my phone, or reply to some emails, or write any to-do lists in my planner. Something productive and mindful that keeps me focused on something vs. being overwhelmed by everything.

Sometimes I'm feeling a bit more social and will have a conversation with someone on the bus, or even the driver.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

29 Mar 2013, 8:56 am

I always wear earphones when I am in the bus. Almost every student here in the Netherlands does that when they are travelling. Always listening to music.
Can't believe people would find you strange for that. Perhaps the oldies a little bit, but who cares.

And do you really think people can see your heart beating through your shirt? How realistic is it that all people in that bus are constantly paying attention to YOU all time. People generally have better things to do. They might give you a slight glance, but they're not going to focus on you the whole time. They are paying attention to a million things. Most people aren't even paying attention to fellow passengers at all, they are sunken in their own thoughts or busy with their smartphones.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,224

29 Mar 2013, 9:01 am

Have you tried listening to the radio and reading? I find that it works for me and that it also kills time all together as well while making the situation more pleasant.

I love to read while I am on the bus or the train myself.



Drehmaschine
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 781
Location: Bundesrepublik Deutschland

29 Mar 2013, 9:16 am

Put to use those smart phones and tablets. People will think you have a social life maybe and not take much notice of anything else or insult you.



DarkRain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,657
Location: Hissing in your ear

31 Mar 2013, 11:35 pm

I get claustrophobic, so I have to have a seat next to the aisle whenever possible. I also get very nervous whenever the bus fills up with people and all you hear are different conversations coming from all sides--my senses are easily overloaded. :/