What is wrong with giving up on socializing?

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Awesome suggested response, Agent ! I hope it is ok if I cut/paste it into my side notes so that I can remember it if/when needed

Sure!

I was/am indeed thankful for the feedback. I just figured that saying that was the typical expected response and that the poster had already telepathically heard me thank him/her, so I skipped it.


I guess I was just expecting to be told I was wrong [i](which is the response I usually get), and was surprised that someone actually agreed with me so I didn't know how to react, because deep down inside I think what I'm doing is not normal and want to be told I'm wrong?

Supposedly, socializing is one of the biggest requirements for human survival. Or so they say.
Sometimes I get really convinced I must socialize the hell out of everyone.
But most of the time I crave being alone and isolated.

People can have difficulty understanding something that is very foreign. Most people value socialization. Humans are social primates biologically speaking. Science has shown that married people live longer.

Loneliness over time can take it's toll on your mind.

But if your happy, then people should respect that.

I was wondering if anxiety levels rises the more of a hermit you become due to the lack of socialising. How do you get your food? Is that also delivered to you?

It's the opposite for me, the longer I can be by myself (with my partner and cats) the less anxious I am. Actually this forum is the worst place I could be at (and enjoy it) on the whole internet for my anxiety levels, and it's not even socializing. BUT it's very good at distracting me from my problems at times my focus isn't working right enough to do something productive (and y'all are fun). The most anxious I've ever been was before I could become a semi-hermit and being one helped me tremendously.

Im glad you understand that, as I often get given the impression by some people that they are missing out on something or someone in their lives and can sound quite bewildered or act foreign about it.
We're not talking about shutting everyone out and becoming a herb, its about being left alone at the right moments and not expecting everyone to clear up the emotional debris left behind in the rubble.
Some people suffer such serious aliments that when it comes to it, they cant even break the ice at all.
Also they are perhaps unlikely to pursue a convo because of limited and restricted interests or self immobility and follow a crowd if that crowd happens to be ill- based or corrosive to their shifting levels of convo.
I am clearer and calmer in smaller climates and on one to one situations than in bigger mobs where no joy in getting yourself heard can be found at all.

Yes, many that desperately want to find something are so desperate because they've never had it. If they had it they might realize it's not all that fun and that they would feel much better on their own. That is what introversion is about, anyway - feeling better by being alone (by choice).
I prefer one on one situations too, as the goal for me is communication and mobs are not really made for that... This got me thinking about what goal mobs are for then in socializing, I can't quite grasp what the purpose is.

Neither can I. With a date I once walked across a landmark bridge in the area and through a crowd of what had to be at least fifty people my age and younger. I had no idea what structure anyone could even imagine to such an event.

I'm not a social person and pretty much never go out of my home for the purpose of socializing. I don't feel any need to. When I do go out for stuff (like to a store to buy stuff) I just hope people leave me alone because I don't want to talk to them.

You can go to a store without talking to anyone.

These days things are getting easier for people that don't want to leave the house. There are grocery stores where you can shop online and have your food delivered.

I've never had to "give up" on socializing, because I've never tried to fake.
I've always had few friends and I've never been dating, so I didn't had to "give up" on anything.

I'm not a hermit. I have a few friends and sometimes I hang out with them, even if not often (this year I hung out 3 or 4 times until now).

My parents don't really seem to be bothered by my lack of a big social group. Even my mother and father have always been more likely to have few friends than a huge social group.
The only person who seems to be bothered by the fact I don't date and don't have a lot of friends in my aunt.
She always says that people of my same age alredy have dates and that "I'm late" because I haven't had one yet.


I don't fear loneliness, also, even if I did want to "fit in" and fake, I couldn't because I can't copy others.

I never felt the fear of loneliness of which you speak, or the longing for social interaction "to the point where you're physically sick". Maybe that's because I have actually been alone less, but I don't think so. I have certainly had stretches where I was totally alone, and I found it peaceful and pleasant.

The fact that you did once feel that way makes me think that in your case, it is a bad thing to "give in". I suspect you still have that drive and denying your needs is going to hurt you in the long run.

No disagreement over here, either. I actually admire people who don't get lonely.

Rationally, it would be sensible for me to talk to other people only for the purpose of exchanging knowledge.

People don't like me, and I don't know what to do with people. I get that. So why am I still trying?

Oh, for me it's not because I'm extremely bad at that other kind of communication (anymore) - people like me too much whenever I do and I HATE IT - it's that I prefer exchanging information and not having to "fake NTness" too much (and I'm not always able to). And I see now where I went wrong with my newest doctor - I thought we would exchange information but I might have gotten better treatment if I flirted with him...

If there is something missing for you there is no fault in trying. But you should read some books about it if that is something you have to "improve" (about small-talk, comforting and yes manipulation, but not the PUA kind. More advanced option is to read psychology which leads to a deeper understanding but takes longer). If you read enough books you can (/might be able to) teach yourself intellectually what other people do intuitively.