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zacb
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21 May 2013, 8:46 am

Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?



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21 May 2013, 3:26 pm

You are only 18. You still part way through the transition from childhood into adulthood. It is normal to feel like that sometimes at your age. Don't worry about it.



hanyo
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21 May 2013, 3:47 pm

zacb wrote:
Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?


I do. I am still like a kid. I live with my mother and don't work, drive, or date. I'm 38.



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22 May 2013, 8:39 am

I do too. I'm 30 and still live with my family. I'm don't work, never had a boyfriend, don't drive.



Duckbat
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22 May 2013, 1:25 pm

Me too, I thought about this a lot, maybe our development is slower. I still feel like a teenager who likes to play games and hate responsibility even though I'm 24. :(



Andras
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22 May 2013, 3:18 pm

I'm also 24, still live with my parents (don't see any reason why I should move out), a very late puberty, never had a girl friend and never even cared about having one until last year, still watch all kinds of cartoons and movies which are mainly aimed for kids, still play kids games and I'm still not capable of tying my own shoelaces. The only place where I feel like an adult is at work.

@OP: You're far more mature than I was when I was 18. I didn't care at all about any of the points you listed. You're only 18, give it some time!



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22 May 2013, 6:00 pm

I'll be 22 this week. Still live with my parents. Didn't really start dating until this year. No job. Can't drive.

...But you're only 18 so you shouldn't be worried, man. You have all the time in the world and the fact that you're thinking about those things means that you're ahead of the game.



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22 May 2013, 8:30 pm

Yeah.
Although, the thing is, I wouldn't think the same of anyone else here in my position, because I'd assume it was because of their AS. I don't know why I have such a hard time allowing the same reasoning for myself.


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Summer_Twilight
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22 May 2013, 8:43 pm

zacb wrote:
Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?



I used to feel like that before I got my own place. I lived with another family member until the age of 28 and had lived in an area with no transportation. The only two options were take a cab to the nearest bus stop or hire a respite provider to take me to one when my family member went out of town. We mainly used the provider for a transportation support system.

I was made to feel like a child when I was around the provider because there seemed to be this pressure to ask my family member permission for me to do certain things.

-I wanted a soda but could only have one or none because one had a lot of sugar.
-They had to follow me around the grocery store when I did my shopping
-There was an obligation to know where I was at all times.


Yes, being around that provider made me feel like a pile of dog crap and it was as if they knew that I was trying to grow up but would not let me due to their career. It sure did make me feel like I was a child too. You know what? I outgrew them and slipped up just enough to get pushed away too.



Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 23 May 2013, 5:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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22 May 2013, 9:24 pm

More like a teen than a child, but yeah sure. I'm 35, live at home (and would dread moving out because I'd be lonely if I lived alone and I'd seriously rather die than live in group home or something like that), I'm unemployed (which suits me in the way that it gives me free time and I'm not stuck with something I hate) but I wish I could contribute more financially for my family. I can't drive and see little reason to in the situation I am and where I live. I'm single and loving it. I read a lot of YA books because they're often the type that appeal to me.


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23 May 2013, 8:41 am

I feel like that all the time.

I'm 26, still live with my family, don't work, don't date etc...

People I went to school with are married now and/or have kids and i've got no interest in any of that.


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BigSnoopy126
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23 May 2013, 1:10 pm

zacb wrote:
Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?


I thought this a few times. I think part of what you're feeling is just wondering why you haven't transitioned to adult like yet.

I used to thin it happened really fast, too. When I was little, I read in one of my Dennis the Menace comic collections Dennis asking what age you have to get married. And in my mind it was automatically, "18 because you get out of school then." I don['t know if I thought about college or not, I sure didn't catch the context of a little kid thinking you *had* to get married. But, the point is, I thought there was a quick transition.

There is no certificate that says "I'm an adult," though. It's a gradual process, and not everyone does it the same way. I've never been married and have only recently begun thinking seriously about adoption, but I have no money and I know it might never happen. I pray that God will give me a child, I pray about it as if that child is already mine asking for them to feel His love, comfort, peace, etc., to do well in school, and so on. yet at the same time, I know it would be a lot of work. I guess I'm just comfortable putting everything in God's hands, just as I have trusted in His forgiveness.

I'm sorry, I'm getting off track. Everyone is unique, and sometimes the worst thing is to think you *have* to be just like everyone else. Now, to manage money, live on your own if you can handle it, and so on, of course you have to make adult-like decisions. My family actually thinks I over-do budgeting and such, although in the same breath they think I've been very wise with money. That's a niche I have that maybe you don't, but you might do something else better than I do.

Society wants to put people in categories like "adult" to make it easier, but not everyone is built to fit into them. Working, yeah, that's a pretty important category, and though I can only do it part time, and some stuff like my online missions work is only volunteer, though I still love it.

But, other stuff isn't. If I could tell my 18YO self one thing aobut how to handle life, it would be, "Just because you're legally an adult doesn't mean you have to be exactly like others." I stopped talking with imaginary friends in my head and would up having major problems in my 20s because that was how I vented and kept track of a lot of the interactions I had and just what in general was going on in my life. I still don't tell people I do this, but I would have been much better off accepting I was different and not trying to be like everyone else,

I'm sorry if this got too long.



arnoldmcguire335
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25 May 2013, 5:20 am

Same here, 23, still with parents, no Driver's License, has a temporary job.
Except I feel like I'm 9 Years old sometimes.



YoungAtHeart
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31 May 2013, 3:54 pm

zacb wrote:
Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?


I do too. :( Although not as much as I used to. But sometimes I think of how old I am and get embarrassed that I'm almost 20 (19 and 1/2) and I'm not out of the house. I can't even work. I don't think I know enough about it.

But I also think that I will be ready when the time comes. Kind of like driving. If I end up doing it I will but it's no big deal if I don't I guess. That's how I ended up feeling after awhile.


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Bubbles137
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31 May 2013, 4:00 pm

zacb wrote:
Do you ever feel like this? Everyone has a job, car, girlfriend, and maybe an apartment, and here you are, still at home. I feel kinda like a ret*d or 40 year old virgin, although I am only 18. IDK. Anyone else feel like this?


I'm 26 and I feel like this! I work with children and feel more comfortable around them than adults- I work in a school and babysit, and it feels like having a social life.



nintendogurl1990
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31 May 2013, 6:18 pm

Hey I'm 22 and I can't drive, and I still live with my mom and sometimes I feel like a bum, but I'm learning how to do things for myself, like cooking, cleaning, using public transportation, etc. Have you told your folks about how you feel? Maybe they can help you learn to become independent.