False offers of friendship (and false friends)

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BlackLiger, you are so right. I don't know why I'd want to be a part of something that would leave me in the huge state of overload anyway such as a party.

I don't think it's really because they had a party without me (usually that sort of thing leaves me with a sense of relief) I think it was more the deception - no one bothered to tell me. At the end of the day I inquired in passing about the cake to the birthday girl and she gave me this blank stare for just a moment and then said, "oh yeah, someone brought in a cake today.... but I don't think it was for my birthday, it was just sitting here in the breakroom when I got back from lunch" - Now I know the TRUTH!

NT's are lousy liars, too! I'm actually getting over it now. I don't usually stay upset long about such matters....it's happened way too many times and life is too short - my life is just as valuable as anyone's and it's their loss if they don't want to get to know me. (Jumping right into arrogant mode and skipping entirely over self-pity mode)

Ooh, did someone mention goldfish arson?

Yes, I had a girl in grade school who called me her friend but just kept me around so she could bully me.

I often psychologically kick myself for believing her for sooooo many years.

I've been betrayed many times so now I trust almost nobody

Oh, this happened to me time and time again.

In a case of irony, a girl who 'befriended' me was quite abusive for well over a year, and I just didn't see it. For a couple years we were good friends, and went out a couple of times, but didn't work out. For some reason, I wasn't able to let the dating bit go (I always just wanted her to reconsider, but never mentioned it of course), and the abuse started.

When I heard she hated the way I looked at her, I realised that was the reason. I took a step back and looked at this relationship. The whole time, I saw her as an angel of good, could do no bad. Then this abuse sunk in. She was not perfect, and that took me out of this desire to date her again.

I figured I'll give her another shot, now that I'm in this new state of mind, and see if she lightens up.

This happened in 2000-2002, and we're now the best of friends.

This was a case of good friends gone sour, then back good again. Probably a one-of-a-kind.

I once had a friend who had APD (anti-social personality disorder)
He was over-friendly in the beginning and gained my trust. I didnt have any other friends at that time either so we were "best friends". But at that time he started to use it. He had full control over me and made me do cruel things .
I managed to "escape" from him though, finally..

Most friends I had after this just used me when they were reeeeeaaally bored

My first generation of friends all turned on me. My fear of women my own age can be traced to the fact that alot of my 'girl-friends' ran off with the super king alpha jocks of the school who picked on me the most. Plus...the girls who were once my friends laughed and seemed to enjoy it when their 'hero's' spit on me and pushed me around. I am extremely careful of who I trust now. A supervisor at work told me "you don't seem to interract with anyone normally" and I said "I don't trust anyone for anything".
That was 4 years ago , I have since been more willing to joke around and stuff like that but I still make no effort to gain real friends at work. There's a couple people that I open up to a little bit and they have proved to be good people. Other than that, I am cold, emotionless and scary looking to most and they avoid or keep quiet around me.

I'm 36 years old and not sure that I have ever REALLY had a friend. Sometimes people are friendly, sure, but when push comes to shove, they always let me down. I have come to the realization that my family is all I have. Work relationships are always awkward because people hang out in "clicks" and I never fit in. Having Aspergers, I am not really shocked by this, but it would be nice to connect with someone. Monday mornings are the most difficult, because that's when people talk about what they did over the weekend, together. It bothers me that I don't get invited, but if by some chance I did, I would be so uncomfortable that I wouldn't have any fun. I joined this website hoping to find someone to be friends with, a fellow Aspie that will understand.

I've had so many false friendships, I don't feel like I know the meaning of the word "friendship" anymore. There have been times where people say "Oh sure, I'll be your friend", but as soon as other kids started to bully me, those people joined in on it too. I've had people throughout school saying that they'd be my friend, but it seemed as though they would only talk to me if I had a pencil and a blank piece of paper in my hand. (I taught myself to draw when I was younger.) Other than that, they wouldn't know me from a hole in the wall. Even after graduating (and we had exchanged e-mail addresses), do you think I heard from ANY of them even ONCE?! NO!

There was even a person in middle school that I thought was my friend, but she turned out to be a (insert unfriendly word here). She came over my house once, and all she would do was talk trash! She even went so far as to ruin several of my mother's small cross stitch patterns by writing insults about my brother on them! What really made me say "GTFO" was when she called my house saying that "if I didn't call her every day, then I shouldn't be her friend anymore." Guess what? Haven't seen or spoken to her since.

I've been used by people claiming to be my friends too! One person claimed to be my friend, but she only used me so I could do her homework for her. Lazy (insert another unfriendly word here)! What makes things worse is, when bullies or supposed "friends" see you years later, they try to talk to you as if nothing ever happened!

I'm sure others can relate... I hope.