Extreme anxiety when going somewhere alone.

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Yuseong
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20 Jun 2013, 3:32 am

I'm leaving now to go to a meetup for an Asperger's support group. It will be my first one. This is a really big step for me and I'm becoming extremely anxious just thinking about it. I feel incredibly panicked and I can't stop trembling. I even posted this in the wrong subforum half an hour ago because I am having trouble thinking clearly.
I don't leave the house on my own; this will be my first time doing so in over seven months. Usually, my partner will go out with me or I will simply stay home. There are a few times when I have gone out with my brother, but the last time I was able to manage alone was when I was at TAFE in late October or early November. Since then, I have taken somewhat of a turn for the worse.
Anyway, I wanted to ask if anyone has similar problems going out alone, especially into a new situation. If you do, what coping skills do you use to calm down and get through it without having a meltdown/panic attacks?

Please forgive me if my typing and/or phrasing is a little messy. My brain is a little over loaded right now.



redrobin62
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20 Jun 2013, 7:12 am

I don't have any problems going out alone but I just don't like it. Whenever I go somewhere, like the mall or movie theatre, I feel like I'm trespassing. If I'm eating somewhere by myself I hurry up so I can leave the environment. I go to the movies less and less, maybe once every two years. At least I'm sitting in the dark. If it was well lit I wouldn't go.



Oneiros
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20 Jun 2013, 9:48 am

I think most people get some anxiety in that situation. If you haven't been out for a while that is a big step, good on you for trying it and hope the meeting went well.

What I've found that helps the most is learning to accept myself and worrying less about what others think of me. Working on this for a while has helped get rid of a lot of my social anxiety. Medication also helps but not everyone is open to it.

Sometimes you can also just force yourself to do something that you hate. This is called exposure therapy. But don't go too high on the scale otherwise it won't help. Gradually you build up to harder situations and it will reduce your anxiety as you become accustomed to being out of your comfort zone.

Good luck.



Joe90
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20 Jun 2013, 11:52 am

I'm always afraid to try new things on my own, like joining social groups, things like that. I get through it OK, I'm not the sort to have meltdowns in front of loads of people I don't know, but I do clam up inside and become really shy and even selected mutism.

I'm sort of caught in a trap because I want more friends but I'm afraid to try new things, and because I'm so shy anyway when in a new environment with new people, I get really shy and don't say a word to anyone, unless I really have to. Then I wonder if I am forgotten, and people might look at me and think, ''is there any point of her being here?'' I seem to always be the most quietest person in the group, even if I attend somewhere where there's other socially awkward people. Nobody seems as shy as me. I know social awkwardness doesn't always mean shy, but I'd thought there'd be somebody else who's as shy as me.


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Yuseong
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20 Jun 2013, 9:03 pm

Thank you for your responses.

The meeting went surprisingly well. There were a lot more people than I thought there would be and I felt very overwhelmed, but I stayed for the entire 3 hours! This has been a huge achievement for me. At first I was worried about my stimming because I was rocking in my chair for basically the entire time, but nobody payed even the slightest attention to it. I spoke to three people, one even added me on Facebook. It was great to feel like I fit in to some degree and I have decided to attend regularly (the meetings are once a month for this group) and possibly even participate in some of their activities.

I can relate to a lot of what you guys said, particularly to Joe90's comment about the trap she mentioned. I hope things become easier for you, Joe.



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21 Jun 2013, 2:57 pm

Yuseong wrote:
Thank you for your responses.

The meeting went surprisingly well. There were a lot more people than I thought there would be and I felt very overwhelmed, but I stayed for the entire 3 hours! This has been a huge achievement for me. At first I was worried about my stimming because I was rocking in my chair for basically the entire time, but nobody payed even the slightest attention to it. I spoke to three people, one even added me on Facebook. It was great to feel like I fit in to some degree and I have decided to attend regularly (the meetings are once a month for this group) and possibly even participate in some of their activities.

I can relate to a lot of what you guys said, particularly to Joe90's comment about the trap she mentioned. I hope things become easier for you, Joe.


Good job. You even got to make some new acquaintances.


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Snowy Owl
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21 Jun 2013, 2:59 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm always afraid to try new things on my own, like joining social groups, things like that. I get through it OK, I'm not the sort to have meltdowns in front of loads of people I don't know, but I do clam up inside and become really shy and even selected mutism.

I'm sort of caught in a trap because I want more friends but I'm afraid to try new things, and because I'm so shy anyway when in a new environment with new people, I get really shy and don't say a word to anyone, unless I really have to. Then I wonder if I am forgotten, and people might look at me and think, ''is there any point of her being here?'' I seem to always be the most quietest person in the group, even if I attend somewhere where there's other socially awkward people. Nobody seems as shy as me. I know social awkwardness doesn't always mean shy, but I'd thought there'd be somebody else who's as shy as me.


^^^^ I am exactly the same.


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