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Mxzysptlik
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26 Dec 2012, 7:30 pm

I hate advice masked as condescension. This usually comes from adults who think I should listen to them for some reason; if I need to learn something, I'll find it myself. I also hate when people try to tell me what to do or how I should feel about a certain situation or happening. I think because I'm young and I have "potential" people think, especially older women, I need their guidance. I simply want to tell them what they said was unsolicited, and if I need to learn something I will ON MY OWN. So, what I've learned to do is apply this attitude towards others, and try to allow them to f**k up on their own. What I've also learned about most people is they don't change the way they see the world after about 18 years of age. There are some minor changes but for the most part people are who they are when they leave high school. Honestly, college does little for most people these days, or ever actually. Most people are more concerned with who they want to f**k next or who they're going to date. And since we're limited by our social ineptitude, we focus on what we find important. Which, I guess, is intimidating to some people... idk



soulburner
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26 Dec 2012, 8:07 pm

i dont like advices unless its given in a kind tone and is said once. otherwise, i will not listen and will be stubborn as hell about it. especially people who try to give you advice but yet makes the same mistakes. personally, i accept my own advice and i learn it from experience.



RaveMaster
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26 Dec 2012, 10:41 pm

People will be telling you what to do all your life. i give orders all the time, but one reason i do it is to annoy people, that may be a good reason for the bossiness.



Pabalebo
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26 Dec 2012, 10:46 pm

I actively try to avoid giving unsolicited advice. Unsolicited advice is one of my pet peeves too. If I'm asked, I'll do my best to help.


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equestriatola
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27 Dec 2012, 7:17 am

It's more like "I hate how my parents give advice" for me because they do it in a very condescending tone.

Other than that, no.


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Watilla
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28 Dec 2012, 6:09 pm

Hmm, I don't "Hate" getting advice, if I've actually asked for it. Advice, more often than not will leave me feeling hopeless, though, if I'm not mentally feeling able to follow the suggestions. That would be my problem, though. Not theirs.

The advice I seldom ask for would be anything to do with changing lifestyle or psychological issues. Asking for any such advice would most likely end in feeling hopeless, and I believe I'm the only one that can truly change anything of that nature myself anyway.



Who_Am_I
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29 Dec 2012, 2:19 am

League_Girl wrote:
No or else I wouldn't be talking to people.

I think lot of people hate getting advice and people get upset when they get the advice they didn't want to hear.


Getting advice isn't the only reason for talking to people. :?

I don't mind getting advice, but I don't find it useful usually. Most people don't have enough information about any situation I'm in to be able to suggest a better course of action than what I'd decide to do anyway.


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Kjas
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29 Dec 2012, 2:58 am

quirkyandlaughing wrote:
Hi all!

I'm newly diagnosed & am still trying to figure out which parts of me can be explained by Asperger's. I get really mad when people tell me what to do, but then I find myself doling out unsolicited advice all the time. Do any of you do that? Do you know if it's an Aspie thing?


Hmm.
We do like to process and analyse information. We definitely like to find solutions to problems. I guess that could come accross the wrong way to most NT's. Especially since so often we solely tend to focus on the practical and logical, and tend to ignore feelings and emotions altogether - that is usually the part that tends to piss off NT's.
If that is your problem then you can redirect it - take out your information processing and analytical tendencies on subjects you like to research, or on places like here, where it's okay.

Most people are crap at giving advice. Sad but true. It's generally a good idea to ignore most people on that aspect.
Find a few people who definitely have a great head on their shoulders and when you're stuck on something, go to them and go over it with them. If you trust them, then take them seriously, but you still need to use your critical thinking skills.

Someone telling you what to do is completely different than someone that you respect and trust going over a problem with you because you asked them to. Most people who respect you won't do it unless you ask them to in the first place. So if you ask, be prepared to listen, even if you don't like what you hear, and go over everything logically.


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hanyo
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29 Dec 2012, 6:01 am

I've pretty much given up on asking for advice. Asking for advice just gets you abused when/if you can't follow their advise for whatever reason.

If I'm asking for advice I've probably already thought long and hard about it myself and am hoping someone may have thought of something I didn't. Usually their advice is something I can't do however and then they get pissed that I can't follow it. I had to leave a forum over this once I got treated so badly.



reneeirena
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30 Dec 2012, 2:42 am

Most advice I get usually goes "do what's most natural for you" and I would tell them that I have no concept of this social behaviour/bodily movement/thinking process so none of this comes naturally. They'll usually get pissed and leave me alone and confused...



ctawk
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21 Jun 2013, 9:12 am

I enjoy getting advice. But many times friends of mine hate it, are annoyed, don't want to. It aggravates me. They don't want to help me out?



1062651stAvenue
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21 Jun 2013, 7:13 pm

This particular issue annoys the hell out of me. I already have anxiety issues over a lot of other stuff.

So the way it works is: my sister or someone will invite me over, and in a kind way, ask how I am, what I'm doing etc. So the minute I say something that doesn't fit in with their way of thinking, I get advice that I haven't asked for. I find this to be really sneaky - the concern for my welfare masking the fact that they just want to throw their weight around, dominate me a bit. It is so hard (I live in a different town) to take that the only thing I can do is withdraw for a while.

It doesn't seem to make any difference if you say "If I want your advice I'll ask for it". It is just the quality of the advice that seems to be a problem - it's not good advice, and it kind of proves that they just don't know me, or themselves, as well as they think they do.

I suspect that the underlying issue with my family is that they are undiagnosed autistics - we're all 50-something, us kids and I'm the only one who has had a diagnosis. The rest of them are in denial, so it's little wonder that they are not seeing things as they are. I see no solution to this.

:evil:



MjrMajorMajor
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21 Jun 2013, 7:45 pm

I don't mind advice at all. What I mind is people getting angry if I choose not to follow theirs.



TaoDreams
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21 Jun 2013, 8:28 pm

quirkyandlaughing wrote:
Hi all!

I'm newly diagnosed & am still trying to figure out which parts of me can be explained by Asperger's. I get really mad when people tell me what to do, but then I find myself doling out unsolicited advice all the time. Do any of you do that? Do you know if it's an Aspie thing?


Yep. And the funny thing is the people who have given me unsolicited offers and advice eventually ended up leaving my life as a result of it (their choice). They were upset because I seemed closed off from accepting their advice, which wasn't just advice it felt often like I was required to take it, every time I rejected their attempts to control me these 'friends' got upset, so yeah. I mean I even explained WHY I wouldn't take their advice. I had usually considered it already (I research EVERYTHING), and am intrigued by any thing that is new that I haven't heard of before. They often called me 'stubborn' or 'unstable' as a result.

Don't know what kind of thing it is. I think in my case some people think because I have these issues that are severe, that I need the help they have sanctioned as correct, not in ways that work for me at my own pace. They assume that if I don't get help in the way they have sanctioned as correct then I'm crazy, stupid and don't want to save myself....