Maigheo wrote:
Even to such an extent that it annoys my friends. They say I shouldn't be so insecure, but that doesn't help at all. In fact it makes me insecure about my insecurity. I think this is because I've been bullied a lot in my entire life I have an intense feeling of being abandoned. I'm sometimes afraid that my friends actually pretend that they like me, because they don't want to hurt my feelings, but that in fact they just think I'm a ret*d girl and want to get rid of me. Furthermore I'm most of the time the one initiating contact. When I don't talk to them for a while because I'm busy or something, I never get a text or phone call with the question of how I'm doing or if I feel like hanging out. If I send such a message, I always get a positive response, but deep down I'm afraid they just don't dare to let me down. I have no idea why... I can be pretty clingy. But I know how irrational my problem is. Is this common? I have posted this problem on another forum but I was called immature.
Maigheo, this was me 100% when I was a kid, through my 20's. I think the ruminating about it was also an extension of my OCD. As I got older and my world expanded more, and as I met different people who were more accepting of my idiosyncrasies, I learned to relax, and this in turn helped others gravitate to me more. It is a catch-22. But you are not stuck. Hang in there, the more you get out into the world and conduct more trial and errors, the more you will learn and improve in your relations with others. ACTING confident is half the battle. BEING confident is the checkmate. If it helps, for now, focus on the "acting", and then the "being" will follow. There are also medications that help with persistent negative thoughts, notably SSRIs, which are not only an antidepressant but helps with OCD symptoms.
18 Jul 2013, 2:33 pm
