Which causes you more problems?
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I just don't know whether the things I have to say are acceptable, by most people. NTs seem to have really rigid, unspoken rules on what should and shouldn't be said in one situation or another, but they don't realize that because it comes naturally to them. When you first meet an NT they have such an aversion to talking about anything meaningful, and I can't make small talk very well If I could jump in to a friendship a few months in, when the small talk is done, I'd have things so say
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