What is your eye contact like?

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I'm glad it's not just me!

I am very anxious about my persistence of eye contact, and don't want to come across as over-intense. And I understand that NT people can read all sorts of intentions into prolonged eye-contact, so I want to avoid misinterpretation wherever possible. I am naturally conflict-averse and am especially afraid of my eye-contact appearing unintentionally aggressive when dealing with other males.

I know of one AS guy, for whom I have a lot of time and respect, who deals with his personal eye contact issues by wearing dark glasses at all times. While I respect his choice of approach, I can't help thinking that this probably marks him out as 'odd' more definitely to many people than any deviation from NT standards of eye contact ever could.

As a kid my eye contact was terrible. It was unnatural and awkward for me. A speach teacher I had in elementary school said I needed to improve it (this was long before I was actually diagnosed), so my parents essentually trained me to make eye contact. Now my eye contact is about as normal as a NT's eye contact. Some people claim you shouldn't train a young aspie to make eye contact, but I sort of disagree.

It's hard for me when it's a person in authority or someone whom I feel is superior to me. My trick is to look at the bridge of a person's nose.

Though my eye contact is pretty good when someone is talking (I tend to look for about 3-4 seconds and then look slightly away), it's harder when I am talking as I actually need to look away to formulate my ideas...it is hard for me to process eyes and thoughts at the same time. I tend to intellectualize eye contact and process it on the same wavelength as my thoughts. I hate that I do this as I don't know whether it looks normal or not or if this sends the wrong message to people.

It varies with me, depending on the situation. If I'm trying to stress a particular point, I'll maintain eye contact. Otherwise, it generally wavers every few seconds.

Not that good. Sometimes, I want to tell my dad if it's heated "NO CONTACT ORDER!"

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I could make eye contact with people, though not recently, I just think it is my ADHD. I have done it properly before, but now I just don't.

I have never been good with that, and I got in a fair bit of trouble over it many a time. It was a little better after I got glasses, but not much. I tend to come off as an arrogent prick who doesn't actually care, or just smug for not showing the right reactions when I am being chewed out, which only makes people more angry. I can force myself to focus into a persons eyes, but it actually hurts my eyes.

This drives my wife nuts. She says I never look at her when we're talking.

I had no idea that eye contact was such a big deal until I read an article on it once - which only made it worse. After reading the article, I realized the importance of eye contact but I've never really learned to master it. Now I find myself staring weirdly into other peoples' eyes for long periods of time. Then I realize I'm staring and become completely self conscious and can't look at them any more. Damn that article.

One place it does seem to come in handy is if someone is running a training course and I'm in the audience. I think through my staring at them, they pick me to concentrate on and somehow, it eases their nerves (I guess, because I give the impression that I'm listening intently). The presenters always end up staring at me. Maybe they're really thinking "What's that looney staring at me for?". Who knows?! Bloody weird NT's and their non-verbal communication crap.

My eye contact is practically non-existant. I have no intention of changing it either. At one point I may have cared about it but I don't anymore. People don't like it then they don't like it. If it is that important then they can find someone else to talk to and leave me to my peace and quiet. The only time I'll make an effort is if I approach someone to talk to (next to never). Otherwise, if you're coming to me and going to interrupt whatever I'm in the middle of then it's on my terms not theirs.

I stare at everyone, too much eye contact here.
Although when talking about something personal or big I tend to not be able to make eye contact.

look on the bright side. You can always beat an autistic in a starting contest.

I maintain too much eye contact. I have to remind myself to look away.

And if the person's cross eyed, forget it!

For me eye contact depends on how tired or stressed I am. I generally force eye contact, and I am reasonably good at it, or so my wife tells me. If I have had a bit of a difficult day - stressed, anxious or just plain tired, then I completely forget to do it. It certainly isn't something that comes very naturally though.