How to deal with the lonliness and life?

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ok to start this is going to be a long past as you shall see.

Basically im 14 at this moment and i just joined a new school as at my last school i was bullied since i got there and it went on for 3 years. The reason i got bullied? it was because well in their words i was "A f**k up and know it all!". they would beat me up every i dont know 3 weeks or so in the changing rooms and i literally would come home and have suicidal thoughts for hours while crying. i eventually told my parents and they were losing their hair over it. so i moved school and things were awkward but good for the first DAY. then after that i got punched, verbally insulted and just treated like crap. im not sure what to do the only way in which i can even talk to people properly is when I'm hyperactive, it might help to mention at this point that i have ADD.

any way i have no idea what to do as all i want to do is get throught school and then i can do whatever i want to do but how do i deal with this because i know if i keep bottling it up something bad is going to happen but if i tell my parents then lord knows what will happen because as far as they know im doing fine.

i dont care much for company but being completely socially isolated makes me feel sad and angry at the same time, is there any way in which i can cope with this?

I'm honestly stuck with what to do in this situation.
Any feedback would go a long way


Thanks
George

Keeping a journal is a good first step. Getting thoughts out of your head and on to paper can help you get "unbottled", and help you look at things with a fresh perspective.

For social isolation, hanging out on WP helps me a lot. There are a lot of times where I can't handle any interaction, but I can type away on here. It helps calm me down.(edit: When the site's not being buggy. )

Good luck.

Just one person, just one activity you can lose yourself in might help. I lost myself in reading as a child. Music, running, anything that will fully occupy your mind can work.

If you get services in school, maybe an aide could walk you between classes. It's odd how the kids can instantly pick out who is different, though, and I realize that doesn't mean the adults are getting it. But, if they are, maybe they could change your plan to protect you more.

Posting on WP does help, maybe you can feel less alone. It calms me too.

I agree about posting on WP & you can also try chatting with some of the members here like me. I think it may be good to tell your parents about this. If your worried about burdening them keep in mind that good parents are supposed to try to protect their kids & keep them safe; I still resent mine for knowingly sending me to schools when I was bullied & beat-up on a daily bases. I don't think it's good to let them think your doing fine with school when your not. One issue is keeping things bottled up & you may end up lashing out at them because your upset & they didn't know it & wanted something from you when you needed time to yourself to decompress & let things out; I lashed out at mine aLOT when they wanted things for me & I was completely overwhelmed or dealing with anxiety, fear, anger, & stress about school. There may be other schooling options for you; for example I've been seeing commercials on TV for an online school that does elementary through high-school & there may be some kind of special school in your area for some type of special needs kids, I did aLOT better with school when my parents found out about a school for dyslexia which I had been diagnosed with sense kindergarten along with ADD(I have other things too but that school was aLOT better for me than public & private Catholic schools I went to before but it only went up to 8th grade so I went to a private Catholic high-school & did OK but dyslexic school was still better for me)