My depression in 8th grade

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Hello, my name is Michael, 14 years old. I'm having trouble in 8th grade. I mostly go to regular ed. classes because i'm high functioning. It all started in September 2013 when my speech teacher said I was in a group with 2 girls in the CD room that I see rarely and like. I was very excited. But in middle October 2013 (after my 14th birthday), she put the two girls in different group. On January 2014 one of the girls were ignoring me for no reason. I got SEVERELY depressed and had suicidal thoughts. On March I sat next to her on the bus when we were going to North High School to see a play. That made me elated. But the depression came back to me on March 15th 2014. Back then I wanted to have lunch with the CD students, but they have early lunch and I have late lunch. I have friends but they are too childish and don't act their age, I FEEL LIKE A BABY! I'm in the autism program that started 1 1/2 year ago with my "childish" friends. The program was too small for me. Then I met another girl, I draw pictures for her and talk to her at the end of the day. She is also in the CD room and I wish she was in the aut. program. I told her that I liked her and I wish to see her more commonly, she told me she'll give me her phone number on Monday. Whenever the CD students talk to each other, it reminds me how childish my friends are. I wish I was disabled enough to join the CD program, I wish I can get an autistic girlfriend my age in the same program, I wish I had autistic friends that are my age, in the same program, nonjudgemental, and mature, I wish that I had other autistic friends that use Facebook. I hope high school is better. I hope someone helps me. Also I have anxiety and depression.

Hi there Micheal. im 14 also and live in england. i have suicidal thoughts sometimes and school is absolute s**t for me and i want someone to be with who is as mature and knows things like i do so what i tend to do its - NOT ON PURPOSE - isolate myself and just play games with my 80 online friends who i know quite well

Anime also helps on a level of social understanding ive been told. but more related to your question i woundt bother about it because nothing will happen to tell you the blunt truth we are going to be the smart isolated people for the rest of our short lifes so why waste it with inferior idiots who waste our time?

and if you dont want to get treated like that just pretend to fit in a little make a couple of friends and try to fake or be real to find some common intrests but this is coming from someone who has no real life friends except from someone from my old school

so good luck friend if you want to talk just reply ^^

All I can say was that Grade 8 was when my life hit rock bottom. Its downright painful to remember how hopeless, angry and depressed I felt and I didn't even have the will to consider suicide. Age 14 was by far the worst year of my life. Hang in there it does get better when you get to High School and kids start acting with some degree of maturity.

It was obvious I had anxiety, depression and Aspergers at that age and to this day no "expert" clued into that fact or made the connections. You can at least take comfort in the fact you know you are Autistic and that you are going to be out of step with your peers at your age and there is nothing you can do about it.