Carrying on conversations

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I need advice on carrying out conversations. I would say I'm socially awkward, introverted, and reserved. I have a hard time carrying on conversations. It's always been difficult for me. With people I know, I usually start out by asking how they are, what's new, etc., then a follow up question, but then after a couple questions I don't know what to say or do. They usually ask me a question and I respond with a short answer. Depends on who I'm talking to, of course. It's easier with friends I've known longer. But it usually seems like there's awkward pauses or long breaks when I talk to people. Any tips?

Just focus on shared activities. If something else is going on, then pauses are no longer awkward.

I can relate a lot to that. My conversations frequently go the same way. I find that many people love talking about themselves, so if you're a good listener then that's usually enough to carry on a conversation--as long as you can ask questions here and there to keep them talking. In your experiences though, since that doesn't seem to be working, then I second MjrMajorMajor's advice about bringing up shared interests/hobbies/activities. Most people will have something in common with you in that regard, and it's an easy way to carry on conversation.

Short answers are not the best way to respond if you want to carry on a conversation. You`ll need to elaborate more with your answers to keep people interested. The goal here is to provide your partner with more information from which they can make a comment or pose a question that will keep the conversation going. The more information given, the more likely others will continue the conversation through comments and questions.

^ Also, I second the above and can't stress it enough. People do love to talk about themselves, so asking them questions about them is a good way to keep things going. Some things you could ask a person is what they do for a living and what their hobbies are: people usually open up about these.

Always make sure to elaborate and ask follow-up questions to show you are interested in hearing more about them. These can be tricky, but I'll give some examples. If they talk about their job - ask about what's involved in a typical day and most rewarding parts of their job. If they are a student, talk about what they are majoring in and if how they find their program. As for hobbies, ask for details if it is something you don't know about and ask about personal experiences - people like to share these. Where a person is originally from, pets/animals, food/restaurants, family/siblings, places they have travelled to, fitness/sport activities and movies/TV are other things you could ask about.

For example, I mingled with a few new people last weekend at one of the activity groups I go to. One girl loved to bike and run, I asked about places she liked to do so and what her most exciting adventures were. The two others (a couple) shared that they liked doing fitness based competitions like the annual climb of the CN Tower (the group is in Toronto, Canada) I shared that these activities sound like a lot of work , asked what their secrets were to a successful climb and how they found the climb in previous years. The couple were also learning ASL and I asked them how they got interested in learning the language and how they are involved with practicing it. Then I asked them to sign a few words, and they continued spending the next half hour showing me different signs, mostly silly words and phrases

I really, really like this article for tips on conversations with people:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/2 ... mall-talk/

Though it`s from a "man's" site, it has lots of great tips. The more you practice, the better at it you will be an the more comfortable you will be