Hard Time Making Friends?

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It's one of my problems. When they talk, I pretty much unintentionally zone off.

I feel the same way as many of you. I very much want to connect with people, but it feels like there is some invisible wall between me and them. I might have isolated incidents with a friend or two where I think "Hey, this is the beginning of a really great connection, right? We are connecting here, yes?" and then the incidents just don't keep repeating and we don't even hang out that much. Other times I make friends and then later down the road they take advantage of me in some way so I am forced to stop being friends with them or I find characteristics about them that cross the line for me and prevent us from connecting. I go through periods where I feel excited about possibilities of connection but they never seem to pan out. Then I feel very lonely, like I do now.

Sometimes I wonder if I would even be able to reciprocate and feel the connection if one existed. Maybe people have felt very connected to me and NTs would generally also feel that connection themselves if they were in my position, but I just... can't generally. And that really frightens me.

I feel like I have had only one true connection in my life, which gives me some hope. That ended with me being taken advantage of though and the friendship ended badly.

Now I am in a new school, working towards a graduate degree, and I have a group of "friends" who I hardly see and who sometimes have characteristics that really offend me. I wonder to myself if I should find other friends more suited to me. But I just don't know how I would even go about doing that. It seems like people just fall together. But I never fall together with them right. I am really afraid I never will.