Does anyone else feel hated at school?

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I just started middle school this year and it completely sucked!
I felt like everyone was out to make me miserable. It got really bad. After a while I finally told my major bully that I have Aspergers and he actually started defending me when I needed help.

I can recall some of the most miserable times of my life at school, it is not a good place for an aspie but in the most we survive. It is a mistake to think good friendships will be formed straight away. I do have friends from those days but that friendship took time to develop I think I had been at my secondary school nearly two years before I had a friend for whom I had real trust and affection.
Just face each day as a new day everybody gets it wrong, makes mistakes and misjudge intentions, just for us it happens a lot more and it seems that everyone just wants to take the piss which ain't fair but such is life.
Glad the chap you describe as (a major bully) came round after you confided in that is an important part 'Don't stop communicating' and keep blundering on.
Ensure you have a good place of refuge when things are bad.
Good luck and best wishes.

Since school, I was always hated. In the same grades as I was, nobody wanted to be my friend. From new to old students, I would act foolishly. From not paying attention in class in my studies, to rolling around in the trash, singing songs about sex - Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye - to preaching the Bible in school, etc.
I was also hated by other members at a psycho-social environment for people with similar disabilities as me called Mountain House Clubhouse. From cursing the members, calling them indicative SOBs, to threatening the director of the program, telling her I felt like pouncing on her like a cougar does a jack-rabbit (meaning her as my prey since I had feelings for her).

I remember at secondary school there was a girl in my class who seemed to hate my guts. She knew I had Asperger's because another girl in my class (who had an Autistic brother) knew I had Asperger's because our mums knew each other, and so I knew this girl definitely told this horrible girl about my condition back in primary school, and she still couldn't accept me. She hated me so much that she kind of knew how to manipulate everyone else into not liking me that much, and when she was absent from school everybody paid me more attention and let me hang out with them. So it was as though everybody was scared of this girl, even though she was never that scary. I just didn't like her rudeness and insensitivity. I knew she was never violent. I remember once some of the other girls wanted me to hang out with them in school, but they didn't want to be seen with me by this horrible girl, so every time she came in sight I had to hide.

I really don't know why this girl hated me so much. I have a feeling she still would hate me now. I would only go to any school reunion if I was in a serious relationship or married, then I would feel protected (socially), and have something good to say (since I'm not intelligent or ambitious enough to build up a career). I would not want to turn up to a school reunion single, because I just know that the nasty girl would most probably be happily married to somebody, and might gloat at me because I'm still as single as I was the day I left school.

Aww, I remember middle school.
The first two years sucked, as did elementary school.
Then I went to a new school for the last year of middle school, and things got quite a bit better.
I'm a freshman in high school now, and things are really looking up.

@Mrrandomman - Most people will say to ignore it, right? I know that's hard, so my advice is TRY to ignore it.
Failing that, try and find some real friends. Having someone who's always there for you is never a bad thing, trust me.

Hm, nobody except my best friend knows I'm an Aspie. And she only found out about a week ago.

Hate is used a lot of times as an overly general and overly intense word when disparage or dislike would be more accurate.

And even if it is is true, they may only really hate the half formed fictional image of you they have in their heads.

Once a friend of mine in high school(a very decent person), told me that "in middle school I thought you were the weirdest kid", even though we had never met back then. He wanted me to be aware that he had changed his mind after he actually got to know me. He was being insensitive or overly candid in telling me this, but he wanted me to know that he had realized how his impression of me had been based on things he'd presumed from a distance.

I remember reading an article a long time ago in science magazine that was talking about how more socially skilled people use a different approach when trying to join groups. Did not jump into the discussion immediately, listened to the other group members opinions and speaking style to get a feel for their mindset, and then slowly contributed more and more to the conversation if they got positive feedback.

For what it's worth here's some research on this issue that might be helpful . If it isn't practically useful as a solution then at least it's nice to have a cleared understanding of the problem

Understanding Popularity in the Peer System
http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/dmessi ... dirpdf.pdf

Social Groups & Cliques
http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/go ... l/cliques/

Popular neglected rejected accepted controversial
https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&t ... gws_rd=ssl

Sociometric popularity
https://www.google.com/search?q=sociome ... ent=safari

Perceived popularity
https://www.google.com/search?q=perceiv ... popularity

Popular Kids
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/growi ... pular-kids

Who Is Popular at First Sight?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-bar ... 42060.html

UMass Researcher Finds Link Between Lying And Popularity
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/19 ... 072623.htm

Studies reveal why kids get bullied and rejected
http://science.slashdot.org/story/10/02 ... d-rejected

Correlates of cool identity: Humor, need for uniqueness, materialism, status concern and brand consciousness
http://researchbank.rmit.edu.au/view/rmit:9317

How we define 'cool' - Los Angeles Times
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/nov/10 ... l-20121110

Social Competence - Importance of social competence
http://psychology.jrank.org/pages/591/S ... z2sEWOVYAR

The science behind what makes kids popular - Babble.com
www.babble.com/kid/what-makes-children-popular/?

Some Kids Seem to Cope Better With Bullying
http://consumer.healthday.com/kids-heal ... tter-with-
bullying-656291.html

Boredom in interpersonal encounters: Antecedents and social implications.
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/51/5/968/

The Nerd as the Other: A case study on the representation of nerds in The Big Bang Theory and Beauty and the Geek http://files.combinatori.at/univie/ps_p ... elhart.pdf

What Makes a Person Likeable?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/roger-covi ... 01191.html

The science of savoir faire
http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan05/savoir.aspx

Teachers' implicit personality theories about the gifted: An experimental approach
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/spq/28/1/37/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cut ... -savoir-fa

Study: Charismatic leadership can be measured, learned
http://phys.org/news/2011-02-charismati ... rship.html

Approaching Happiness: The Importance of Social Goals
http://psych-your-mind.blogspot.com/201 ... ce-of.html

I'm not sure how useful this piece of advice is but
from my experience, I think I read people wrong in school.
I was very cynical and when someone spoke to me about something,
I probably took it the wrong way, giving a reply that might have made them take it the wrong
way and act harshly towards me. (Still NOT justifiable but what can you do with sociopaths eh?
At least play along with the psycho game so to speak.)

So try to not take things overly seriously and if possible change the situation around
e.g. if someone was only slightly being mean to you
like smiling and saying "haha that face of yours would be handy for halloween"
you could either A) say "yeah but not as handy as your face" with a genuine friendly smile
or B) "ahh well looks aren't everything bro" with a genuine smile and/or a half smile to trigger
empathy (maybe?)
to kinda give the illusion (or indication) that you're sociable/likeable too.

I'm not sure how valid this advice is since it seemed to work in my situation
with different factors. Try to fit in basically and let people know you're a nice valuable
addition to society, give them less of a reason to bully or hate you.
And if they're seriously psychopathic, ignore them but don't be too reserved.
Not much you can do with immature people I guess.

To be honest I'm not sure.

I had a hard time in school for the most part.

I was mercilessly teased because I was so out of touch with popular culture.
I also had difficulty because I physically matured very early, so I looked 3 years older than my age *and* I was ahead in school by 1 year.
I was a tomboy and made better friends with the boys, which put me on the outs with all the girls, esp. in elementary school. Then, in HS, I was not "girlfriend" material because I was more of a buddy.

Elementary school and middle school were the most difficult. High school got better because we were more separated by ability and interest, and there were more after-school clubs. I was able to meet more people who shared similar interests. The group I hung out with at lunch was a group of misfits. We all didn't fit in for some reason or another. Some were too smart, some were too dumb, some were too ugly, some were band geeks, some were computer geeks, etc. We all accepted each other as we were, and became a welcoming clique for those who don't belong to a clique.

It may be helpful to search out other misfits. And by misfit, I do not mean anything negative. I really mean those who don't fit. They don't have to be like you much at all except for not fitting in, and you might find that you get along great.

College was *much* better than anything previous because when you are in your major classes, you know all the people have similar passions. And the clubs on campus are even more diverse, so you will be able to find some group to fit into. That automatically gives you something to talk about. So, I want to encourage you that school does get better.

I have found that by the time people are adults, most are mature enough to be "accepting". But, there is a difference between being accepted and having close friends.

Even though I was accepted in high school and beyond, I had (and still have) extremely few real friends.

I was told by a quasi-friend and fellow HS band member just a few years ago that I was liked and teased (at least by him) in a friendly manner, but I didn't understand the humor. This came up because I mentioned on Facebook once about having not had any sense of humor growing up, and he said, "So that's why you never laughed and gave us strange looks when we teased you." That could be it!

I would try to find someone that might be able to help you interpret what is being said to you. It could be, like in my situation, that I was not interpreting everything correctly. Some people could be intentionally mean, and some could be trying to be friendly, but not in a way you understand.

Also, as an adult I realized that in my head, I live at an intensity level most people cannot handle. I did not understand that when I was younger, so I let that intensity show all the time, about anything. I now try to keep that under wraps and be more judicious about who I let see or experience my intensity. Again, it helps me be more accepted, but not more known. I have more people I am "friendly" with and converse with, but not many "real", close friends.

Hope this helps.

I have long past my basic school years and yes I did feel like I was hated. I was hated by other kids in my special education class who did not live on the spectrum. The worst part is that some of these kids would appear to be my friend one minute and then connect with other students and gang up on me. Not only that things were said to me that they did not mean.

in my case I was picked on by a small group, but the rest left me alone.
primary school was where most of the picking on occurred.
by year 8 the picking on ceased for the most part. except for one person.

Was I hated? Not sure, either I was hated or these people had nothing better to do with their time then pick on me.

I did feel hated in secondary school. I felt unwelcome too. There was a girl in my class who figured out that I had social and communication difficulties and knew that I found speaking to my peers and teachers to be difficult. She used to try to goad me into meltdowns and was successful a couple of times, and was racist towards me (I'm Eurasian - European and Hong Kong Chinese) and once screamed that I'd told her to go back to Ghana in front of the entire class when I hadn't (she knew that I wouldn't be able to communicate in that type of situation and that I'm actually very against racism). Got moved to another class where a couple of girls picked on me for my unusual behaviour (hadn't been diagnosed then) so I took it. I got picked on by my physics teacher who regularly tried to force me to speak in front of the class until I lost it and screamed at him to leave me alone. He stopped after that.

I got diagnosed in Year 11. I told my classmates about it, hoping that they'd leave me alone. It backfired and most started using sarcasm and telling me jokes to confuse me and laugh at my face. I'm glad I'm off to a different sixth form. So glad.

not hated, just ignored.