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Daishastro
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 21 Jul 2013
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

02 Sep 2014, 9:22 am

I find trying to make friends really hard work and offputting for me as people just don't seem to have manners in terms of responding to texts. Although it isn't a business appointment and they don't have to constantly reply bang on time it seems certainly the majority where I live in the UK make little or not effort at replying and then I still don't know where I stand for days and days leading up to a suggested day and time for an event. I find the whole process very woolly and misleading and stressful.
It makes me mistrust others.

I have come to the conclusion that any would be new friends need to have certain etiquette traits at communication and that if they don't then I won't walk into that stress where they forget about me for weeks and weeks and do not keep in contact as I am seeking friends who can make time to keep the dialogue going a little. I am not expecting the earth and those who can't be arsed I find profoundly upsetting. I am only hoping for dialogue say weekly or so and even then just an email or a text or two surely that isn't asking for the moon? They don't have to be at my beck and call.....!



oddlyeffective
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Durham, NC, USA

02 Sep 2014, 10:55 am

@Iamandrew, everyone gets hurt, everyone gets healing. That's how relationships go not matter who you are. And, even if you don't invite people into your life, you need good executive functioning to know how to deal with living a more solo existence, e.g., dealing with loneliness, having less people to help you, not being exposed to new things/input, etc.

@Daishastro, I agree with your expectations for a healthy friendship (a weekly dialog or acknowledgment when it will occur less often). I decided to let go of a friendship with someone who was always suggesting we get together and then flaked out each time it came to setting a time and place. Most people are terribly distracted these days, but hopefully you can find a friend who has better time management and social skills. You deserve the undivided attention a good friend can provide.

I was away visiting my parents this weekend. Did you all have a nice (3-day in the U.S.) weekend? We were busy - no time for the beach :( but we are going again soon.


_________________
~Nettie