What did my friend mean?

Post Reply New Topic

A friend said to me once "girls like you because your 'safe'"

What did my friend mean by that exactly?

Would you say you exhibit traits of stability and predictability? If so, that is what they mean. Young women (younger than 24) tend to not appreciate these characteristics until they've gone through jerks and realize that nice guys are the real winners. I'm a 26 year old female, and a year or two ago, I would have found my current boyfriend very boring.

he likely ment it along the lines of "won't disrespect", "won't cheat", "won't dump you for the next bimbo" and simular traits.
also, if the context was that of regular friendship, he would have ment that you dont appear likely to force yourself on the girls; they can hang out with you without being afraid that you will try to kiss or grope them (without asking first). this can be an asset, and is akin to being the "gay best friend", regardless of the "gay" part

Not a rapist or murderer?

Is it the "...because you're safe!" part that's got you wondering? You're wondering why you're 'seen' as safe? Don't worry. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing!

I've had that in my life and I've actually got a 'far out' excuse for that. In my case, in hindsight, it was because I didn't pick up on body language and subtle cues that I was deemed as safe. Let me explain. Other men picked up on certain 'body cues' and tried to 'crack on' to them. I on the other hand take people at word value/face value. If a woman is giving off non-verbal, flirty actions, apparently I don't see that so I come across as an asexual safe person to sit with on a dark train late at night on the way home from the city. I don't know how many times a woman has chosen to sit with me because they've been scared of another person on the train. I am totally trustworthy and they are right in sitting with me but how do they know they can trust me? NT's seem to intuitively know I have no interest in hurting them and that I'll do them no harm. I don't think they can see that I have no interest entirely in the human race but I do care about individuals who are hurting, in pain or mental anguish because I've been there and I know what such a horrible place it can be to be in. I can't stand to see someone sad. No empathy? I don't think so! I just don't know how to express it but i definitely feel for other people.

I'm rambling. Bye!