When is it a good time to ask to join a group?

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Basically, I'm asking if a group of coworkers that I'm sort of friendly with are going to do something, what are some indicators that it would be a good idea to ask if I can come too?

The reason I'm asking is once I did this and had a great time, and another time I did it and was excluded from the conversation. And it was with very similar types of people. Thoughts?

I think you should ask if you should go along.

I sometimes feel left out of things, I feel it a lot. But that doesn't mean it will happen everytime.

The truth is, I'm pretty sure most people don't even realize when they leave someone out, so maybe try to interact with them on their own part. Many times for me, it is a feeling when I'm with a group.

Sometimes I feel like a part of them and am content listening to the other people talk, and depending on the group I will jump in to speak too. Other times I just feel disconnected.

But, I think you should try.

The first is will you really enjoy the activity, if thier going to a loud night club and you won't have fun don't. Your borum will leave a bad impretion that will stick.

Fish for the invite

If its something you do enjoy, enter the groups area, if your self conscious about this sort of thing make a excuse. If your in an office, a circuious route to the bathroom or water cooler or just have a file in your hand you could be going anywhere with, in an eating space, ask to barrow the salt shaker off their table. It doesn't really matter once your close your close.

Ask a question, (even if you already know the answer)this shouldn't be to hard if you are truely interested in the activity. As the new arrival you have the floor by default, open ended questions (who/what/when/where/why/how) are best becuase they get other people talking(no one word responces)

( Sample Exchange:
You: I didn't know you guys played paintball, what park are you going to?

New Friend: The one out on route 7

You: How big is that one?

New Friend: about 10 acors

You: whats the field set up like?

New Friend: It's really cool it's a junk yard with a biulding at each end

You: I love paintball there's nowthing quite like the thrill of it, a fire fight without risk of getting killed,lol

New Friend: haha, exactly you should come we're going friday after work

^if that doesn't happen self invite^

New Friend: haha, exactly

You: I'd love to join you guys, when were thinking of going?

^if this doesn't get you invited, move along don't make a pest of yourself it'll do more harm than good.

)

For the most part if you have similar interests people are happy to have you around the them, coworkers more so because you already have something in common:)

there are other ways to accomplish the same goal. You can pick one member of the group and get them to invite you. This approach can be useful if your not friendy with everyone in the group.

hope this helps, Rick

Especially if you're away from a big city (or even in a big city), it never hurts to suggest going bowling.

You're not forced to interact with each other--except in a "fun" sense , you are engaging in healthy competition with each other, and you are away from the pressures of work/school