Not very understanding...

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I recently told my two best friends that I have high-functioning autism. They were kind in their responses, and told me they'd treat me exactly the same. That's great, I was worried about how they'd react.

But the thing is, I did not tell them just for the sake of telling them, but rather because I wished for them to be more understanding about certain things I do or say. For example, I often offend them because I will say something that while honest, is inappropriate. I am very blunt, but it's not as if I mean to upset them and I don't realize when I do. We often have discussions with them explaining why my words or actions were impolite, and I just don't understand it at all, no matter how they word it.

I told them that so they'd not take things like that personal, and realize there was no ill-intent behind what I said. I told them that so they'd not get so frustrated with me when I don't understand why it was wrong even when it's explained. But, while I think in part they had already accepted that trait as just how I am, they don't seem realize I really had no intention of hurting their feelings and still get very upset with me, and hold onto these things for a while.

I wish also that they'd be more understanding of things I can't do. I don't know how to communicate this to them. For example - public transport. I cannot for the life of me figure it out. Every time I have attempted to use it by myself, I get on the wrong vehicle and arrive at the wrong place. I always get lost! I have always had to have someone with me. Even if I ask for help and people explain where to go or how to do it, I just can't understand their directions. If it were not for kind strangers leading me by the hand EXACTLY where I needed to go step by step, I don't think I'd have ever successfully gotten to my destination the few times I actually did. Thankfully though I usually do have a friend with me.

But it frustrates me because they make fun of me for it, and tell me "it's not that hard" and "just look at the routes on their website". The routes and numbers make no sense to me! Be it at the airport, bus stop, train station, I don't get any of it! But because it's easy for them, they tell me I'm just "not trying hard enough". Of course it's embarrassing for me, of course I don't like it, but them telling me that just makes it so much worse. In their mind, my "can't" is a "won't".

Same for food, there are some tastes and textures I just cannot stand. But they tell me I'm just being a stubborn brat and not to be so picky, and force me to try foods I know I don't like. The consistency of some foods really does make me feel sick, and they don't seem to understand that.

I have a ritual where I go through my entire room several times a day and check to make sure everything is in the right place. Even if there's an area I have not touched at all and know it's fine, I still feel the need to do this and have been doing it for years. It's fine, it doesn't harm anyone. But they will purposefully misplace things in my room or make fun of me, calling me OCD for it. They stop me from doing things like spinning in public and make fun of, and get annoyed at certain phrases I repeat.

This is only a few of the things they give me a hard time about. But you know, I'm not mad at them, I don't think they're evil and I don't think they are intentionally trying to make me feel bad. I understand I can be annoying or weird sometimes. But I don't try to be difficult, and I wish they would acknowledge this might be because I'm autistic and that's just how I am. I wish they wouldn't take it personally as if I'm trying to be obnoxious.

But I don't know how to express this to them. All in all, I just don't feel like I'm being taken seriously. I'm not trying to use autism as an excuse for bad behavior, nor do I expect special treatment. I would have been sad if they suddenly started treating me completely different because of it. But yet, why do they act like I never told them at all and continue to harass me for these things? It really bothers me, and I don't know what to do.

Please tell me how I can communicate this to them in a sensitive manner where they will actually take me seriously. I feel like they are a little close-minded on the subject, because one of them actually said if their kid had high-functioning autism they would not tell them, because they would use it as a crutch and as an "excuse for bad behavior". I just have to hope that is not actually true because I think that is cruel to withhold that kind of information that directly concerns their child's life!

But I think they just don't take it seriously in my case because it is not classic autism, you wouldn't know I have it without spending some length of time with me and having some knowledge on the subject. But they don't have 24/7 surveillance on me! Or seem to know much at all about it. They do not see the countless ways it does affect and inhibit me. I'm not looking for special treatment, all I want is understanding, but because they have already known me so long I guess they just have this image in their mind that I can do these things and am just lazy or weak-willed. What can I do? I feel like they'd think I'm just making excuses, but I don't want to be made fun of anymore by my only friends... I love them, and they're good people I don't mean to demonize, but it almost makes me want to avoid them sometimes.

Sorry for writing a novel, I don't feel I am good at explaining myself so I feel the need to reiterate a lot.

It sounds like they don't understand what autism is exactly and what a person like you have to go through everyday. Just like the way you need to be ready for some stuff before you do it, they should also do that. Just because they're not autistic doesn't mean they can just with the flow and things might get better, you must keep telling them that is not easy, if they can't comprehend that then I don't think they're are good friends.
I hate to ask for directions, but I must do it if I need to know. The easiest thing to do for me is to look at the map and know exactly where to go, if I don't do that I won't go out, I don't care if someone gets mad at me just because apparently they found for their first time a person who doesn't know the city, I'll just turn up my sarcasm to 100% at them.
Nobody knows about my autism, except for my family, and everyone still treats me different, so I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, but I still prefer that people around me don't find out about my autism.
It also happens to me that whenever someone explains to me about something that people do I won't get it quickly, but I'll get it later because it's mostly about social conventions, it's just how people are.
Or maybe instead of keep telling them about it you'll have to find another way to tell them, if the way you're doing it right now it's not working then you'll have to find an alternative that will lead you to better results.