Friends are ignoring me, am i overreacting?

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Hello.
Its been a long summer for me without almost any contact with my friends, but now that school has started i have noticed two of my three friends are ignoring me. I think it might have something to do with the last time we spoke; i confronted them of leaving me out of social occasions, and they responded with: we have already talked about this and there is nothing more to discuss ( i thought there still was, because they were still leaving me out of everything). I did not think it was wrong to confront them about it but they seem to think that it was. And now they are ignoring me, and i think it is unfair.
And because of them leaving me out of things it does not make me feel any closer with them.
What should i do?
I may not want to be friends any more with them?
Am i overreacting?

You can't make someone be your friend. Bringing up the subject a second time only rehashed it all over again and now it's like a big elephant in the room and that's why they are avoiding you. It sounds like to me since they were excluding you from things that they really don't want to be your friend. I'd leave it alone for a while, let things blow over and then see what happens (if you are still wanting to hang out with them.) Their little group may break up and one or two of them may want to include you again. If it were me, I would just move on, but that's me. I think people acting like that are shallow and not really decent, reliable friends in the first place, but I also know how lonely it can be in school.

You said something about "we already went over this before..." but didn't discuss that prior incident. I'm guessing something happened a while ago where they decided not to be your friends (perhaps you did something to bother or embarass them? school-age kids can be very sensitive to embarrassment, and may end friendships over things like your reputation with other students). It could be that they tried to tell you about it in a very subtle way, or maybe they failed to tell you altogether. My guess is they tried to "let you down easy" - in other words end a relationship without a confrontation. The problem is that sometimes people are so subtle about this that you might not have even realized that was happening.

nurseangela is right - you can't force friendship on people, and the more you try to force people to do what you want, the more they'll push you away. I know it can be very frustrating when social things don't go your way, but the best thing to do is to just try to calm down, and avoid making a bad situation worse by trying to "fix" it. Then as she suggested, you move on and try to find some friends who will accept you.

Once you calm down about this a bit, and the emotions around it are more a memory of pain, rather than actual pain, it may be useful to try to look back over the whole relationship and figure out where you may have made mistakes. Perhaps you did something to offend them? Perhaps you were too pushy? Perhaps you just chose the wrong friends and should have noticed the signs and moved on sooner...This post-relationship diagnostic can be helpful going forward, so you can avoid making the same mistakes twice. I'd recommend doing that for all relationships, including romantic ones.

I am sorry they are treating you so poorly rather than tell you what's bothering them. It shows you how weak-kneed and chilly they are. If they can't be upfront with you how then you can imagine how crooked they would be later on.


I think you did the right thing in letting them know how you feel but I would just leave them alone. Now does your school have any types of clubs and organizations of your special interest? Even if you don't make new friends right away it's a good way to meet you people.

Do you have access to other thing outside of school? I think it would be good for you to get away from these kids.

If not I am sure they have forums with your special interests where you can talk with others that you can relate to.