When AS-friends suddenly don't respond

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They probably got busy. Sometimes people forget to respond.

I generally always reply to emails or messages. Also, I am known for having very good memory.

I don't understand the first question. Despite being quite bad at it, I do enjoy human interaction under certain circumstances.

In principle, what I had written about correspondence difficulties applies to my real life as well.
But I've gotten used to the coping mechanism of just staying in the situation and keep making the impression of "being there" (not necissarily interested, but NOT making the impression of wanting to go away now) while actually wanting to be somewhere else and feeling horrible on the inside.
Without that, if I were to be honest, I would rudely walk out of most converstaions.

Multiple motivations/reasons for that:
-in school and occupation, attendance, participation and "normalness" are essential for success. In my case, success meant preventing being put into special ed and getting passable grades.
-anxiety of possible long-term bad (social) consequences of being overtly unresponsive.
-to end my narrow-minded asocial attitude of "99% of what people have to say is trivial to me; I don't even want to let them start talking", trying to be more social and open-minded. To "put myself out there". It's hard to make friends if you don't even want to let people start talking. That kinda backfired on me, because most of what people talk about is actually uninteresting to me, haha.
-reflex-like habit.
-possibly something I forgot to mention.

I think the biggest difference between direct contact/phone and text messages is that it's easier for me to give in to being overwhelmed by text, since I can just say "Oh, I was busy. Didn't read it. Whoopsie!" or just blind out consequences altogether.
In a real-time interaction I have less time to think, the consequences are easier to anticipate and therefore I am more prone to falling back to my habitual coping strategy.

It's kinda hard to describe it. I hope this is cohesive enough and makes sense to you, nerdygirl.

Only a month? That's nothing. Communication can be difficult for aspies, and it doesn't have anything to do with how long it takes to text or mail.

Two months and 15 texts or emails. Both are ways that are the easiest for Aspies to communicste. He could have at least said a few words by email or even taken 2 min to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving like I did to him. I don't think that's too much to ask. I even waited until Thanksgiving holiday when I knew he'd be out of school. I don't think it's the two month lapse in communication that's bothering me, I think it's the way all my correspondence are being totally ignored and never answered. It makes me feel worthless and unimportant.

Would it feel better to know it might not be personal? I didn't wish my family thanksgiving either. Sometimes you get in a mood where you can't communicate to anyone. It's like a vacation, but in your own mind space.

This kind of thing happened before between us (a couple months into the friendship) when he didn't answer for several weeks and I just asked "Aren't we not talking to each other anymore?" He got mad and said I was pretty much a mental case. What he doesn't understand is that I live in NT Land and NT's do this same kind of behavior when they are wanting to get rid of a person and end a friendship/relationship.

I know, that's why relationships are hard.

I kept the door open for him should he want to get in touch with me again - I'd never shut him out completely. I just can't keep sending texts or emails and getting my hopes up that this is the time he's going to answer and then when he doesn't I get even more depressed. That's why I had to put a closure on it. I know Aspies probably don't get what I'm saying but staying in touch is very important in NT friendships.

I'll add my tuppence:

I have met and known many aspies who do this. It has been plain hurtful for me in the past. But now I have a new way of dealing with it. I have known this way for a few years now.

...Don't. Contact. Them. Ever. Again.

Meaning - my life is too short to worry about other people messing me about. I don't care what is troubling them, I have myself to look after. No contact at all is plain rude and mean. I don't even need daily contact. Heck, I need plenty of me time as it happens. Hours with no contact? Fine. Days? Fine. Weeks? Forget it. If someone pesters me during that time, I'll probably snap at them. Ignoring them though, I only do that if I've told someone repetitively not to do something, and they keep doing it. It takes a lot for me to ignore someone. I don't generally make friends with people if I can't handle talking to them. This leaves me with very few friends, which I'm OK with.

If anyone messes me about, or cuts me out like that, I'm through with them. Always. And occasionally I've had those people talk to me again as if nothing had happened. I make it so very clear with them that I don't like them and never will again, and if they don't want an earful they had better keep away from me.

I will add though, it doesn't interest me in the slightest when people wish me a happy Xmas or whatever holiday it is by text. I know they've sent that text to all their contacts and it means nothing to me. If anything it slightly irritates me because it's just something else to delete. Like asking, "How are you?" without being slightly interested in how I really am. That stuff is just meaningless and annoying.

^^^ I understand what you're saying, Smudge: no one likes to feel they're being treated as just a number and getting a message which is a carbon copy of a message sent to countless others. I always try to send a more personalized message to someone, when I do.

Sorry your friend is treating you like this, Nurseangela, since you sound like a person someone would enjoy making (and keeping) contact with in real life. Lack of contact from someone makes one feel unwanted, and since i suffer from the occasional paranoid tendencies associated with my position on the spectrum, this has caused stress to me in the past though I've learned to control my feelings better nowadays.

These days people can't keep track of dozens of friends on a regular basis, and has to choose the ones he / she wants to keep the most regular contact with. For an actual relationship, regular contact is essential.

Yeah, I don't get it. It's like saying you are giving up on a tv show because it's been a while since the last episode.

so true! i have done this ever since i had the mental capacity to.

for example, as a kid when the class is writing "get well" notes to another kid who has a serious illness...spending time fiddling with the pen(cil) trying to brainstorm something to write to the kid, whether i knew him/her or not...something different than the traditional get well soon...and then i got little cards myself from then when i was at home with my bronchitis

here too, still i rack my brain to an often unnecessary degree trying to find something unique to say but more often than not i end up sounding dorky..

i have have had zero aspie friends since i joined here and still a few in general, so not easy to tell what can be attributes to aspieness and what, can't.

Why that's very sweet of you to say that, Mr. E. Maybe my Aspie friend will think so too.

@ smudge, Agreed. I didn't contact them again. It just felt wrong.

They might have gotten busy in real life and forgot to reply, or they couldn't think of anything else to say.

I know I can't really speak for other aspies but it might be because they just dont feel like talking. I dunno.