Easy ways to hide it?

Post Reply New Topic

Can I have some tips on easy ways to mask/hide my aspergers more when I go out to social places with my friends such as bars etc.....?

Look people in the eyes. Laugh and smile more. Talk about what the others are talking about even if it seems boring to you. Make small talk. Avoid discussions about intellectual pursuits unless your friends are intellectuals. Copy their behaviors in a subtle way. Try not to be blunt.

I'm not great at it myself for long periods. It's mentally exhausting.

Smile, don't stare, remain cheerful, don't complain, and keep any negative opinions to yourself.

And if someone says or does something that you don't understand, ask them, not us.

-__-

-__-

-__-

-__-

-__-

-__-

Fair enough.

It sure sounds like it. I'm not quite sure I see why one would have the desire to go to that effort just to 'fit in'.

Myself, I don't necessarily want to "fit in", but to be accepted. I want to have a social life. Not to the same extent that NTs do, but I do enjoy being social at times.

Problem is, that in order to be accepted by most people, one has to "fit in". Otherwise people get the weird vibe, and will avoid that person.

The crux of the issue. My personal opinion is that socially, it's not worth it. What you get in return for these Herculean efforts (assuming it is not intrinsically rewarding to you) doesn't justify the energy required.

Professionally? It's worth it to master these skills so you have them when you need them.

There are nuances here. Sometimes you can be blunt and you can share negative opinions... but there needs to be a certain level of trust or understanding before that works.

Yes, it is exhausting, though it becomes a lot less so with practice. I do a lot of this without thinking about it. Whether it's worth the effort is probably going to vary from person to person. I find it absolutely is and I enjoy social interaction despite how much it wears on me. Others may have a very different experience.

What traits are you trying to hide?

If you're looking for social skills tips, I've got this list. It's not really made for the same objective (I want people to understand me more accurately; I'm okay with them thinking I'm weird or knowing that I've got a neurological disorder, as long as they don't think I'm mean, scary, stupid, etc), but there's probably a lot of overlap.

Last edited by Cyllya1 on 09 Feb 2016, 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The very fact that you HAVE friends to go bar-hopping with means you have enough social skills to at least somewhat pass for "NT."

I don't have any bar-hopping friends at all. Never have.

To me bars are not good places to socialize.
I go to places with like interest.

Church
Gyms - I spin & lift and play ping pong. Need to get back into swimming Laps
Music jams.

There is an easier way to hide Asperger's, casually referred to as a "beard." This would be especially useful in a bar type scenario, when people are tipsy and less likely to pick up on small details.

People often don't notice Asperger traits in my husband because he's very heavily tattooed, more than me, even. Only his face is not tattooed. This draws people's attention away from his face. When we were younger he always dressed in an interesting way, which also drew people's attention. Even his glasses were always a little strange. So people would look at the frames and not his eyes. Pretty clever adapting skill, and used by many aspies. A woman might do something as simple as use bright red lipstick.

So for you, you could grow an actual beard, or wear a hat. Get a sportcoat in a print or a t-shirt with a catchy saying. You don't have to make a big change. You can get something that you can take off when you get home.

What the other posters suggested were great tips, but I think you were looking for a quick fix, right? These things I'm talking about don't require practice or much effort.