I never feel like I belong

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I don't know if this stems from growing up in a country that I wasn't born in( I was bullied at school for being foreign) or whether this is to do with aspies traits that make me an outsider.

I don't know if I just feel like I don't belong or if people genuinely don't like me. It's like I feel dissasociative (I don't even think that's a word) but even when I'm around people I feel alone like I have no one to stand with me and support me when I face new situations.

I don't trust people l. I don't believe they really like me. Especially not single men
I always think they will recoil in horror or make fun of me behind my back if they ever found out I had feelings for them

I am a mess.

Anyone else.

I don't feel like I belong either. I've been rejected by many people and I was bullied a lot in school by guys. So due to this- I generally get along with women more.

I can relate to everything you are saying.

I moved around quite a lot as a child, never was able to make close friendships blossom before I was the weird new kid again. This seems to have carried on into my adult life, I have never felt part of a group, and even with my family members I can feel very alone.

My last relationship fell apart due to my faults as a person, I can unintentionally be very cold and distant from those I care most about.

I have my cats and my dog, so I belong with them at least.

Chin up lass, tomorrow may bring sunshine.

Hi, I can also relate to a lot of what you are expressing.
I read the first page of this thread today and it explained a lot to me:
viewtopic.php?t=48840
And someone kindly reposted the one I'd liked at the end of the thread. The
gist of it for me is that if I or anyone can't pick up a lot of non-verbal
cues, then one wants a lot more in the way of proof or clear signs that
one is liked, and that a social situation is going okay. (But fishing for
that kind of reassurance can scupper trust...)

I've never had a job or a relationship, so I definitely don't belong. I don't even think I belong with other autistic people.

I feel the same way, don't have a job, don't have a girlfriend, don't really have any friends, I don't belong anywhere.

I felt like an outsider all my life. I have disabilities in addition to my Aspergers that caused me not to fit in.

Absolutely.

I've never really been able to understand if someone if a friend. Maybe it's simply not fully understanding what 'friend' encompasses.

I've only had three 'best friends' for my adult life (18-27). Although I do now, thankfully, have a few different people & social circles to reconnect with whenever I crave social interaction.

If I do belong, it with others that don't.

Yeah, I have a persecution complex, with good reason. Trust is something I have very little of these days. Though society likes to jerk itself off about risk takers, most people if any ever actually take any real risks. I've taken several risks and it's usually not worked out. Always the wrong fork in the road.

"When the world turns it back on you, you turn your back on the world!" is fast becoming my motto

I feel this way too. It's also hard for me to trust people. I don't open up to very many people because I feel like they will start to do things to mess with my head and hurt me because it's happened so many times. I even feel like an outsider when I'm around other people who are socially awkward.

I feel like I belong to the Earth and the Sun - but want nothing to do with human popular culture in its current incarnation. I've always been an outsider, having mixed-race ethnicity also meant I never truly fit in with Caucasian or Chinese groups, because I was always seen as a member of the opposite race of whatever group I was in. I'm also deeply into spirituality and shamanism, but I'm surrounded in a loud city of technology and gadgets.

My parents were very critical of my Aspie traits & issues even thou they thought I was autistic sense I was a toddler. I was also bullied a lot as a kid. I tend to keep to myself I think partly because of all this & don't really see the point in interacting with people unless they start taking to me or I need to or am expected to.

I don't feel that i belong to any group (even when people do like me).

Sociologists say that belonging to groups (i.e.: family, activity, work, country, personality, etc.) is one of the core motive of all social relationships.

Also, the more group members have points in common (activity, rituals, objectives, age, etc.), the more they identify with the groups.

Rejecting a different minority from the group comforts the belonging feeling and bonds of the majority of the group. As a result, if you show yourself/ or look like different, there is a high risk of being rejected. When you are autistic, you start with a difference (more / or less conscious). So it is difficult to pass unnoticed, in a group and not be bullied.

In groups composed of more different members (i.e.: activities, rituals, objectives, age, etc.), there is less rejection.
Indeed, i noticed that it is always much easier for me to be accepted in the heteroclite groups.

You aren't alone in this feeling at all. Even in the culture I was born into, I don't feel like I belong at all. The Bible Belt is full of arrogant jerks who proclaim to be Christians but they drink heavily, smoke hardcore, have pre-marital sex, get in fights, shoot animals for fun, drive recklessly, and punish others who are 'outsiders' (LGBT people, people of other faiths, women who refuse to conform to gender roles, alternative people, etc). I can't stress enough how backwards and mentally unstable this place is.

I think I had issues like that quite a lot when I was younger, because I grew up being told again and again how important it is to act normal and fit in and have peer relationships and all the stuff. How important "networking" is, as if a person that wasn't into the whole superficial stuff was just lazy and arrogant. Etc. I grew pretty tired and critical of what I consider the "mainstream idea" of how belonging is supposed to work and I think that helped me in getting the ridiculous expectations that were planted into my brain out of my brain again. At least partially.

Yes, I do believe to some people the whole group thing is important. Some people crave identity based on simple characteristics like their nationality or sexuality. But I also believe people come in all variations and that very few things are ever B/W and just because some people feel that way, doesn't mean that I have to feel that way or there is something wrong with me if I don't. I mean sure, there is "wrong" in the sense of serious physical illness, but when it comes to social concept "right" and "wrong" are often just "the majority" or "the loudest people in the society" say so, and giving into that "pressure" can be really harmful.

The important question should be (IMO): Do you want to belong? To how many people do you want to belong? Do you want people to belong to you? How many? What are valid things to bond over? It helped me a lot to figure out what I as an individual actually wanted and needed rather than just trying to imitate what I've been told is normal. It also helped me to find more "quality" and "fulfilment" in the very few relationships I have. I don't really belong to a bigger group, but I don't really feel a need for it anymore either.

I feel your pain. Growing up I only ever had one good friendship, which lasted nearly 10 years until we grew apart. He was 5 years older than me and I was always more mature than he was. He was the hipster type that always had to be the center of attention, always following the latest trends type. We still talk every now and then, but it's very distant like. I gave up on trying to make friends long ago and just accepted the fact that I just don't fit in with 99% of the sheep. But that's what having a good hobby is for. It fills the void for me. I had a better connection to my car than to people as strange as it sounds.