Guide for the Socially Perplexed

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Good idea. Do you mean multiple threads?

That would certainly cut down on the length of the post and make it easier to read

I think of a Wiki but it is too expensive for such a little document. Your decision is better.

Killing self is quite helpful to those who're like me and refuse to lie to be what they're not. I'm sure there's someone else out there like me....

So .22 is quite tangible too....

Ones attitude toward conforming to NT society is a personal choice, and this is not the place to have the curebie / AS pride debate. I am going to start another thread for collecting social interaction guidelines, and I will thank you not to disrupt it again.

There's no debate here; I'm just putting forth what would help people like me if they truly wish to "socialize" in the modern world -- it's easier to drop yourself; it's far less painful.

I accept your subjective opinion and how it'd help people like you; you cannot accept mine and people like me?

It contains elements of dropping ones self as well as an effort to control and shape ones behavior.

Anxiety will decrease when you drop pretense behavior. Success will increase as you attempt to conform. All humans must find a happy, but not perfect balance.

Hey,
I like it, especially as a play on NTs. You know, I mean, they make fun of us so why can't we make fun of them a little bit? Either way, I appreciate it, because YES I DO have to fit in with NTs. If not, I will lose my job. I got bullied around in internships a bit too much. I feel FORCED to conform.
The problem is, I think many people with AS see that list and get depressed. It is mentally fatiguing to make yourself carry a list in your head and force yourself to do thing you don't want to do. It reminds them of how "shallow" people have been and years of pain in dealing with NTs. Defacing the thread is not something personal against you, but rather an AS person being direct about how they feel about NTs and all the trouble NTs have caused them.
Either way, the list helps. The list helped me. I will print it and save it and try to memorize it.

Here, I will make a list to make fun of NTs. Tell me if you like it. Loook for it, as I will post it next, okay?

1. When an NT is mad at you, don't act surprised. Do NOT say "what did I do wrong? What? You mean you are MAD at me?" Instead, when an angry NT approaches you, double check to read their emotion and say "Are you mad?" They will roll their eyes or something and expect us to magically read their mind and tone of voice.

2. When you have verbally confirmed that the NT is angry, say to them, " I am soo sorry. I feel bad. I did not mean to hurt you. I was unaware of how I could hurt you. What is the real problem? What seems to be the problem? How can we make it work? Can I take you out for drinks so we can work it out and find a solution? I feel soooo bad. I am so sorry." (Then give them a hug, if they act open to it.) TRUST ME I LEARNED ALL THIS THE HARD WAY!! !

3. The world sucks and is not environmentally friendly because shallow NTs waste their money at Walmart/Geourgio every weekend on the latest clothing fashion. YES, you do have to dress perfectly and buy new clothes 3x a year when dealing with NTs.

4. Do not be DIRECT with the NT about how you really feel about all the phony bs. BUT, sometime, when you are out on the town with the NT, hint to them "What do you think of slavery?" (Wait for NT to get passionately mad) THen say, "My clothes support slavery. I feel guilty. I go shopping three times a year and I am part of the problem, not the solution. If I stuck with one classic wardrobe and put my money into being ecofriendly and support good causes, it would end the problem. And all the wasted paper and plastic that go with billions of new clothes being bought every day. It would all end if we all just bought one classic wardrobe and stuck with it. But I might be wrong....What do you think?"

5. When the NT acts shocked, again, do not be direct. Make it like they figured it out themselves, and say something like, "I sort of feel bad, what do YOU think? Should I feel bad?"

6. Watch the NT see things in a different light. Turn your head away and laugh. Do not let them see you smirk.

7. Then say to them, "my clothing does not really mean I am smarter, or more successful, or make more money. I think people see right through all my so called successful clothing. What do you think, or am I just wrong?"

8. Listen for their answer.

9. Enjoy! You have just secretly told the NT what you really think! Without being direct! (I had to learn the hard way how to make a point without being direct).

10. Self stimming: when around NTs, wiggle your toes inside your shoes or something else, or fumble with the pencil UNDER your desk. This way, they cannot see you doing it.

11. If they ever ask you about self stimming, say that it is "It feels good. It helps me concentrate...Just like chewing gum, and normal people do it too, cause they chew gum" Watch when they have no come back to that.

12. If you have to lie to be socially successful, so do it. NTs all do it. Why can't we? Just make sure they are very sublte white lies. Pretend to listen to Nts but reply like "Yeah, Oh I see. How does that feel? That must feel bad?"

13. Copy NTs and reciprocate them. Put a ring on your finger to remind you to do this. MOCK MOCK MOCK! LIKE COPY CAT! If they say, "How is the baby?" Say back to them, "Fine. How is your daughter/son/baby/Jack?"

14. With the NT, always ask them about themselves or their interests and let them babble off. Then you can just sit there and go "Yeah, mmmm. Oh that sounds cool!" When they ask about you, never take it literally. Turn the conversation back on to them. Ex: "What beer do you like?" "Oh blue moon, but what do YOU like?"

Man it's late, this will not be well worded.

I'm glad you found the list helpful.

Yes, I am making fun of NTs a little in the list. It's good to know the tone comes through as intended.

I'm sorry if the rules seems a bit overwhelming. I feel just as you do, but I don't know of any other way to deal with NT society than by trying to internalize their rules.

Even if defacing the thread is not personal, it's not what the thread is for and I don't appreciate it.

Also, I look forward to your post

Thank you beatiful spam for the advice.

It's funny because when I sit and think about it, I know all of the unwritten rules. It's just that when I'm actually living, I can't follow them. There's a part of me that refuses to change my personality. When I do try, I end up feeling awful inside, like there's no point in being popular if it's someone else and not really me.

I think the only rule I really try with is not dominating conversation, as i know how bored I get when other people do it. Asking questions rather than filling in silence with tons of information.

The danger with following rules like this is that you meet someone, you think they're great, and then you try to act more like yourself and they hate you. I think it's safer to be yourself (at least 90% anyway) and eventually find someone perfect.

*looks down at feet* Uh oh.
I dont get whats so wrong with this one, but my cousin did make a comment once about my socks and sandals.

I share very few interest together with NTs, in such a way that our talks are inexorably borrowing for both.

We must take care of our car, I used not to wash mine, what I believe was felt by NTs as an insult to them.

I like to socialize to NT woman, no interest in NT man, no interest in conforming myself to them. Fortunately I share some common interest with NT woman. (They don't like excessively cute hair and combing all the time)

I must constantly repeat those rules in my head or else I am turning into a moron. I think about printing it down but it is a little ridiculous.
Why do you think that obeying the rules is uncomfortable? In fact we obey many non-social rules for example I know that pushing a backspace button deletes a symbol and don’t need to change it. I see rules as tools. Conforming gives me pleasure because I can reach a goal.

Yeah, I am with you. If I sit and concentrate and think hard, I do know what to say and do, to be sociallly reciprocal, just like in the movies. But day to day, I don't remember it. I cannot process it during real life interaction. It is just too much! yeah, Id have to say I agree with you.

By the time this happens I have already had sex with the girl

Tired of being a nice guy. This way is so much better.