social life pretty much non-existent

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Hi everyone,

Is there anyone over here with a pretty much non-existent social life? It seems like no matter what I do, I'm always left out... I have like three people that I would consider friends (more or less) but I hardly ever see them because they're in committed relationships/married/always busy... I don't have a friends group I belong to, like a clique (if that's the correct term, English is not my native language) I just find it really hard to talk to people in groups, to follow the conversation, know when I can join in (I tend to say nothing at all or to interrupt people...) So when I meet up with someone, it's usually just with one person at a time... Would really like to have a group of people to hang out with who share my interests (indie/alternative pop/rock music, movies, litterature, stand-up comedy, ...) AND that I feel at ease with... Yesterday for example I went to a music festival with a group of acquaintances, and while I enjoyed the performances I just didn't feel at ease with the people because I really didn't know them that well... They were much more social and outgoing than I... So I either was really quiet or started rambling (so that they gave me funny looks...) I just went with them because I know that they were also interested in that kind of music but it's just not the same as going with real friends...

It just makes me really sad sometimes... I wish I had a group of good (childhood) friends like most normal people to celebrate my birthday with, to celebrate new year's Eve with (in the most recent years I always go to an event hosted by an organisation for single people, but they're also just acquaintainces), to go on holiday with etc....

Never had a relationship either, which probably comes as no surprise since I can't even make/keep friends... I just don't think it's in the cards for me... I'm not that big on physical contact and have trouble really opening up to people (in real life that is...) so it's probably not a good idea to begin with...

BlackStar

I have only had a few friends in my whole life. Most people get bored with me and I've been rejected a lot. I generally just have online friends. I'm shy and quiet usually and I don't like going out much because of this.

Only two friends here. Seeing them few times a month. No one with my interests though, and I'm dying to feel the joy of a passionate discussion related to my interests. Oh well...

I was a part of a group of friends when I was younger, but I havn't talked to any of them in years. I have one friend in school who I talk to regularly, but during the summer we rarely hang out. Other then that, my social life is online.

I have a very limited social life. Apart from things I do with my wife I go to three or maybe even four football matches a season with my supervisor from work. She is the only friend I have. Otherwise I attend these matches alone, as ever.I have tried social groups, a chess club and a couple of ukulele "groups' but i never hit if off, i either said nothing or interrupted people.
I think I'm about to get the sack in the next week or so (I lost my temper at work and let my mouth run away with me) and with it I think I will probably lose my friend as well because I have never been able to maintain friendships before. I am not sure that I really understand what friendship is because I don't understand how people get on like they do.

Yes, I know exactly how you're feeling. I have no social life either. I'm absolutely dying to know someone who shares some of my passions - specific musicians, comedy, etc. But that's almost impossible to find. Concerts are the only places I can get talking to someone easily because we're discussing something we like so much. But I go to these concerts alone. I do everything alone or with family.

I agree about not understanding friendship. I don't get how everyone have such good friends.. I mean HOW? And why do even the most horrid people have friends when people like us don't?

It can easily make you unhappy because you start to compare your life to other people's - why do they have relationships and I don't? What have I done wrong? And you question whether there is something wrong with you.. Am I boring? Am I not likeable? And so on.

I'd love to know how on earth to get people to like me enough to actively want to spend time with me... and also how to keep them as a friend. Obviously have no idea because I have zero friendships.

I don't remember the last time I had o social life considering I didn't have one in school and I don't have one now.

Me too. I've had this problem for most of my life, there isn't just an easy answer to it. It was easier when I was a kid, the demands of todays society is too high, so I only wants friends I actually connect with. Hard to find... (I have a few, but we rarely see each other). Maybe someone/we on this thread could talk with eachother online. =)

"friends" aren't generally easy to keep once you meet them. I've actually cut ties with 2 people most recently on another forum. One was because of certain political opinions I probably shouldn't have brought up and the other was race related. Very sour topics that will guarantee you cutting someone loose.

I recognize now, because of a retrospective review, that actually I had even fewer friends throughout life than I thought I had. However, this is not something that I feel bad about in any way, its merely a curiosity. Often in the past when the issue was brought up the conversation tended towards the idea of “true” friends versus acquaintances. Im not sure now if that means anything as I had two friends for life outside of my spouse one died of cancer and one lives still and we have been friends over 40 years. But in work, high school, college I never had anyone that would call me or come visit or ask me to go ut with the rest of the guys/ I was always alone and it never bothered me as I had plenty going on in my own mind/world.

I think these days you have a share of a lot of fake people and thats just the way it is unfortunately. I haven't had friends since high school so I don't even know what to expect from "friends" knee deep into my adult life. All I know is that "adults" generally don't have time for friends and thats all there is to it.

Yes. Me too. I'm lucky I have a big family. I live with my grandparents. aunts uncles and some cousins are always coming around. Otherwise I'd have no social contact other than cashiers at publix.ha ha. It's not the same though. Family cannot replace friendship. I have 2 friends 1500 miles away who I try and stay in touch with. This wed I'm going to a autism social thing. Is there anything like that in ur area? I have high hopes of meeting some good people. Is meetup.com international? There's prob other sites like it.

I'm going to join in here and say I don't have a social life either...
Maybe a tiny glimmer of social interaction, I do keep in touch with someone from my school days but she is off and busy working/in a relationship.
I'm dying to make new friends but I don't know how either. Been years.

I just signed up on this website a couple minutes ago specifically because of this reason. I have a few very good friends but we met through a therapy group, which is a structured forum and can't really be replicated in a natural environment. Otherwise I would say I have only really had one friend in my life, and we've been friends since we were born as our parents were friends. Mostly I don't feel lonely because I like doing things by myself and have the company of my own mind, but recently I've been realizing I'm a little less introverted than I've thought. I just don't know how to start/maintain a friendship on my own--have never done it--and am wary of people as I can't read them and they often have ulterior motives. I am aware I'm too easily manipulated as trust for me is not very nuanced--yes or no--and I never suspect other motives. Is this a factor for anyone else in hesitating over developing relationships? If you can't ever read anyone, you can't prepare emotionally for when you discover they've wanted something from you all along (sex, test answers, etc.) and not just your company.

I have almost no social life.

I walk my dog each day and that is sometimes the extent of my interactions with humans for that day.

I have the internet for interaction, but it's still difficult to make friends.

I feel the same way. Going to an autism group seems to help me a little and I do hang out with someone there outside of group, but she's married and has a lot of things going on so we usually just hang out about once a month. I also have another friend irl, but we haven't done anything together since last fall.