How should I explain why I turn down invites to outings?

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GamingMaestro
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02 Jun 2016, 8:35 pm

I got the schedule for my month long summer program today, and it's 12 hour days (even most weekends) of 2-4 hour long classes with only 1-1.5 hrs break for each meal. So me being realistic about my limits and needs regarding AS, I know I'm most likely not going to have any juice in the social battery left for hanging out...especially since I may need those few hours at night to wrap things up since I have a bit slower processing speed and obviously work slower because of it.

I'm not too sure what I should say if a classmate invites me to something that NT's wouldn't find weird or even worse, rude! Most people don't have this problem, so I have no idea what to say that a "normal" person would understand. These type of programs are great for networking and meeting people in the industry, and I'm not sure how to cope with socializing long past my usual "tolerance time limit" without any time to recharge the social battery during the day and still appear normal while doing so. :(



Beau
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02 Jun 2016, 9:36 pm

Hey GamingMaestro.

How about responding with "oh. I can't tonight/tomorrow because I really need to catch up on lecture/homework. Thanks though for the invite." I'm pretty sure your classmates would be understanding as it will be 12 hour days. You could always tell them that you'd be interested in hanging out/attending those events the month after, once the hectic schedule is over. Hope that helps.


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GamingMaestro
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02 Jun 2016, 11:30 pm

Beau wrote:
Hey GamingMaestro.

How about responding with "oh. I can't tonight/tomorrow because I really need to catch up on lecture/homework. Thanks though for the invite." I'm pretty sure your classmates would be understanding as it will be 12 hour days. You could always tell them that you'd be interested in hanging out/attending those events the month after, once the hectic schedule is over. Hope that helps.


The problem with that is, it's a summer program in another state...so "next month" I won't actually be in that city anymore. Not to mention that we all will probably have the same exact assignments, so most "normal" people probably wouldn't understand why the 3 hours we all get in the computer lab every day might not be enough. I definitely did indulge in those kind of white lies while at school back home though! :lol:

I really hope I'm just being totally stupid and illogical about this since it IS 12 hour days...I'll probably feel a lot better once someone from the disability office tells me what building my single room is in so I can get rid of that stress source. But I definitely can't lie that I'm more than a little worried I'm going to be forced to be running my "social battery" at E all day without any time for the hour or so to myself after classes I know I usually need to recharge. I haven't had too many meltdowns in my life, I really hope I don't make an ass out of myself by unwillingly changing that fact! 8O



DataB4
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03 Jun 2016, 6:05 am

I think it's pretty normal for people to say they've had a long day, and I think people have different variations as to what that means.

Do you think maybe the meal breaks will be good times to talk to people so you have time to yourself later? Also, you probably won't be as socially engaged in class, and you have computer time, so you won't actually be social all day. Don't you get some days where you have more free time? I think you'll find some days and some classes way tougher than others. Just my prediction though.



GamingMaestro
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03 Jun 2016, 12:23 pm

DataB4 wrote:
I think it's pretty normal for people to say they've had a long day, and I think people have different variations as to what that means.

Do you think maybe the meal breaks will be good times to talk to people so you have time to yourself later? Also, you probably won't be as socially engaged in class, and you have computer time, so you won't actually be social all day. Don't you get some days where you have more free time? I think you'll find some days and some classes way tougher than others. Just my prediction though.


I definitely plan on talking to people during meal breaks, assuming I can actually eat in the dining hall. I have dietary restrictions and still haven't heard back from the dining office yet...I'm probably going to be living on canned/bagged chicken/salmon sandwiches for a month if the answer is no, since we don't get too long for meal breaks. :lol: Looking at the schedule, I think some things may just be free time to work in the computer lab...sure hope I'm right about that!

I know I'm probably being silly about this, since I'm sure everyone else isn't going to be itching to hang out all night after such a long day. Probably just a "yay aspergers" moment needlessly worrying about stuff that probably isn't going to happen. :compress:

edit: I want to do a happy dance, I just found out my single room is in the same building as everyone else! And it's an apartment style building, so no gross shared bathrooms and kitchens to worry about. :lol:



DataB4
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03 Jun 2016, 9:17 pm

Yay, no community bathrooms! :) I hate those. I hope you have a great experience in the program.