I think I might be hurting people.

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Hello.

I sometimes meet new people via games or in real life and hangout and talk to them for a few days,
but then i have to "hide my self"
I usually spend a week or two in almost complete isolation put my steam on offline mode
so that people don't see that i'm on my computer.

And then when i'm back from my isolation i can't bring myself to message the people
I was hanging out with because i'm afraid that I hurt them by ignoring them.

So I guess i'm asking if anyone else has gone through this and has a solution?

I've had this situation where I met someone knew and didn't contact them for a week or two, or even longer, for a variety of reasons. I feel bad about it also, and I try to explain to people that I go through periods where I'm less social, or busy with other things. Generally, it doesn't hurt casual contacts unless it was one of those situations where a guy really likes a girl or vise versa, and reads way too much into it. Those are hard to prevent.

Just contact these people again. You don't have to tell them you isolated yourself.

It's none of their business, anyway. They aren't your girlfriends.

Absolutely! You're not the only person who disappears sometimes. (I do too.) There are lots of reasons why someone doesn't log onto a forum or game all the time- busy lives, other interests, psychological stuff, or not feeling in the mood. If people see you online in short bursts with a gap between, chances are they'll just accept that's how you are.

(If they don't, they're probably too clingy for the likes of us....)

I can definitely relate. I have an incredibly hard time staying in touch with people, even people that I genuinely like and feel close to, and frequently go for days or up to a week at a time without responding to texts, messages, emails, etc.

Sometimes I find it helps to simply tell the person that I have difficulties talking to people sometimes, and that it isn't their fault/has nothing to do with whether or not I like them. I usually find that approach has the most salience with other neurodivergent or mentally ill people who often can relate to some degree. Otherwise sometimes people will ask what's "wrong" with me/if I need help, which can be annoying to deal with especially if you're already not in the headspace to talk to people.

The important thing to know, I think, is that you're not obligated to tell people anything. I think that if you choose to explain yourself to people it should be only because you think it will help in that situation, not because you feel like you "owe" that person an explanation.

I'm a very independent person. I can talk to friends every day, as I'm not a big introvert, but not to the same friend. If I talk to the same friends every day, I feel like I'm suffocating, as it often means endless conversations on the same topics, and friends who meet every day often eventually switch to small talk, which I hate ; so for this reason, I prefer to alternate between different friends for conversations. The other person has nothing to do with it, it's just the way I am with all people.
When I meet people like that, I simply explain them how independent I am. If they can handle it, great ; if they really can't, and are of the clingy type, it simply means that our personalities are too incompatible to be friends, so if the friendship ends because of that, it's OK. Now, in the end, my relationships are preferably with people who are as independent as I am. The advantage of being nerdy is that being nerdy and very independent often go hand in hand
If your friends and you are compatible, when it comes to your personalities, they will respect the way you are. If they don't, it's better to find new friends. Losing friends is painful but in the end, being happier is so much better.

I used to be very frightened of informing people about my general social ineptitude. I especially agree with the first little snippit there, you'd be surprised how well others will take a "Oh, by the way, just to let you know, I'm a little nervous/shy around people." It can be tough, but try your very best to not read into it too much; I've found that as long as you surround yourself with nice people, I have little reason to be anxious.