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ThisAdamGuy
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09 Aug 2016, 3:52 pm

I don't have many friends, and I've never had a girlfriend. These are both things I wouldn't mind having. Unfortunately, I have a very hard time relating to other people. Or, maybe they have a hard time relating to me. It makes me wonder, am I a boring person? My hobbies are writing books, reading, and playing video games. I hate sports, I don't go out and have crazy adventures that I can tell people. I do think I'm pretty funny, in a dry, sarcastic kind of way, but most people don't stick around long enough for that to matter. When I talk to people, they usually don't want to talk about the things I like, and I don't want to talk about what they like. Does all this make me a boring person? Like, is the only way to be interesting to like the things everyone else does? And if I am boring, should I really care? What's more important, enjoying what I enjoy or having people to share my life with?


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TheZachadoodle
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09 Aug 2016, 4:01 pm

Boring and you should not care?

How about not active enough and should care.

In many instances in my life I could never come up with an excuse and I had to be on time somewhere while everyone else had excuses to miss out on everyone.

Be punctual, and don't worry a bit.

I can tell you feel like a fish out of water many times, but you need to let that go and come to terms.

Sitting in a corner and crying is only that: sitting in a corner and crying.

You can change it in many instances that sitting in a corner and crying can have sympathetic meaning, but it does not in the end if it is self-destructive and not a way of letting go emotions.

What has true meaning is that you are helpful. All this while having a smile on your face and moving on.

I get that we see the poor homeless person and think he should be depressed all his life, but I have seen working class homes and they are happy with what they have and happier when they have visitors.

They do not sneer and neither do they make excuses when given opportunities.

What dissapoints me many times is when someone who clearly got a good job, makes excuses like:

"WORK IS TOUGH!"

Well congrats you are selfish, because lets look at your boss's shreader.... Hmmm how many resumes went through that shreader while you were lucky enough to have a job out of all of them?

Trust me those guys I doubt they know what their boss places in the shreader.



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Aug 2016, 4:12 pm

Well, Zach, I read your entire reply, and I can honestly say I have no idea what point you were trying to make.

"How about not active enough and should care."
I may not be an athlete, but I'm not in terrible shape either. Thanks for assuming, though.

"Everyone else had excuses to miss out on everyone."
What does that even mean?

"Sitting in a corner and crying is only that: sitting in a corner and crying."
Seriously, who said anything about crying?

"WORK IS TOUGH!"
Uh... you don't say. What does that have to do with anything?

"Well congrats you are selfish, because lets look at your boss's shreader"
First of all, thanks for that. Secondly, what the hell is a "shreader"?

Diagnosis: you're butthurt about something and for some reason decided to take it out on me.
Now, if anyone has a REAL answer, feel free to share :)


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kraftiekortie
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09 Aug 2016, 6:58 pm

I'm going to tell what I think:

If you think you're boring, you're probably going to be boring.

I used to think I was boring. People picked up on that lack of confidence. It gave me the inspiration to try to get less boring.

I've succeeded at least somewhat in becoming less boring over the years--primarily because I don't actually think I'm boring any more.



BTDT
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09 Aug 2016, 7:11 pm

I've learned to condense and edit what I say, so I'm more interesting to talk to.



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Aug 2016, 7:27 pm

KraftieKortie and BTDT, thank you for, at least, replying with something intelligent.


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UnturnedStone
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09 Aug 2016, 8:01 pm

Most would consider me boring, and it doesn't bother me.

I prefer to be at home. I don't like going out, but will when it is needed (shopping, work).

I have never really felt the need for friends, as I don't have the energy to put into the maintenance most friendships seem to require. That being said, I have found a few friends who I can see on occasion, or have a conversation with after long periods of time and it hasn't effected the friendship.

Should you care?... Well it depends, are you happy?

Personally, I'd rather enjoy what I enjoy than change for anyone else.

And even with my interests and hobbies, I have found a gorgeous, loving, supportive girl (who loves me for me).



ThisAdamGuy
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09 Aug 2016, 8:29 pm

"And even with my interests and hobbies, I have found a gorgeous, loving, supportive girl (who loves me for me)."

TELL MY YOUR SECRETS, OH WISE ONE


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UnturnedStone
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09 Aug 2016, 9:42 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
"And even with my interests and hobbies, I have found a gorgeous, loving, supportive girl (who loves me for me)."

TELL MY YOUR SECRETS, OH WISE ONE


Believe it or not, Online Dating...

Online dating sucks for the most part, the important thing to remember is your not trying to get every girl, you are only looking for one. so 1000 unread / deleted messages is largely insignificant.

Everyone is different. It doesn't matter if most find you unattractive or boring because again you are looking for one.

I was honest, I did not send "rude" pics nor did I ask for them.



ThisAdamGuy
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10 Aug 2016, 8:31 am

Yeah, online dating's pretty much been my only way of meeting women, lol. I don't get out much, and there's not any groups or clubs around here that I'd enjoy going to to entice me to change that, you know?


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UnturnedStone
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10 Aug 2016, 6:14 pm

Yep, I know exactly what you mean.

Everybody else seems boring to me, but I know I am the one who is different, and I have accepted that.



Outrider
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11 Aug 2016, 6:12 am

It's not you or I, it's this generation.

Seems a lot of millenials try far too hard to be unique special snowflake extraverted quirky amazing hipsters and if you don't have any sort of dedication to the arts such as writing, music, etc. then you're out of touch with the world.

Think of how many women you may have seen say they don't want to date a 'nice guy' because being 'nice' is uninteresting and the bare minimum of what a guy has to be to interesting. Being nice alone apparently isn't enough for people today.

Why can't a person who's very plain and generic's only redeeming quality be 'niceness'.

I'd honestly love to date a completely plain, ordinary, down-to-earth, 'nice' woman with no particular interests that stand out. The kind of gal that pretty much just goes to work, then maybe watches some movies or just chills, maybe spends a lot of time on facebook socializing or looking at stuff on her wall, etc.

If anything, a lot of 'interesting' people I meet tend to be boring as heck.

I was friends with a lot of artsy kids in high school; they were all very social, extraverted, loud, random and spontaneous, and had multiple interests in many things.

Most of them were all writers, dancers, amateur filmmakers, amateur fashion designers/interest in fashion, musicians, actors and visual artists all at the same time. Most of them took full advantage of the opportunities our hometown offered (e.g. acting in actual local theatre productions, dancing in local musicals, playing gigs at local concerts, etc.) They all still managed to have high grades and be high achievers. They are all attending university and a few of them have already begun to explore the world, so I'm sure they have many more stories to tell. On top of this, they all loved a lot of sci-fi, fantasy, novels, anime, video games, comic books and board games and spent extensive time watching and consuming all of this entertainment.

Ironically, they were one of the most uninteresting bunch I've ever come across.

It was the plain, ordinary and 'boring' people who I actually found to be more insightful and interesting than meets the eye.

My point is:

1. Taste is subjective. What's boring to some is interesting to others.

2. No one is truly boring. We're all unique and all have our own individual insight to offer to others and the world, no matter how little we've experienced it.

3. You are not boring. Your past posts indicate you have quite a few interests and you're a dedicated writer. You sound pretty cool and alright.



TheZachadoodle
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11 Aug 2016, 12:28 pm

Truthfully so, but do not do online dating.

That one Australian guy may have one success story but out of the many horrible stories that have tried it, not taking the risk.



UnturnedStone
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11 Aug 2016, 5:40 pm

TheZachadoodle wrote:
Truthfully so, but do not do online dating.

That one Australian guy may have one success story but out of the many horrible stories that have tried it, not taking the risk.


What are these horrible stories?



ThisAdamGuy
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11 Aug 2016, 6:06 pm

UnturnedStone wrote:
What are these horrible stories?


Careful, he'll accuse you of being selfish and WHAT YOU WANT.


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anagram
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11 Aug 2016, 6:35 pm

i tell people "hey, make no mistake, i'm a boring guy". they think i'm joking, which i am. i say "no, really, i'm serious". which i am as well. they laugh. but then if they eventually change their mind about me being boring, it's on them. "told ya!" :)

"should you care?". no

associate with the right people and, when in doubt, cover your bases so people won't belittle you or accuse you of misleading them when it's just them making assumptions. i'm not saying people are evil or anything for just making assumptions though. assumptions are part of regular human functioning. and you have the responsibility to dispel them when you can predict them. know thyself


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