Immature or More Mature?

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There are two things I constantly hear about aspies: our emotional maturity is generally 3-5 years below our actual age, and that we're more mature than most people our age. Those are the two things I hear more than anything else, but they're completely contradictory. Which one is it?

Both can be true; it depends on both the person and the kind of maturity we're talking about. As kids, we often have interests that are mature for our age. We also tend to be more quiet and responsible in comparison to other kids our age, I think. But as we get older, we sometimes still enjoy the things we liked as kids. We can also be immature emotionally and socially, and more dependent.

This.

Also we can often come off as pretty mature online, despite not being that way offline. We often have pretty solid grammar, and we're usually very knowledgeable on our special interest. Meanwhile, I've noticed talking with many aspies that like 10 years ago often feels like "just yesterday" and we don't generally notice as much of a change in behavior since then as NTs.

So, I've been told I seem middle-aged when I talk politics online, for example. ...but if you knew me in person, you'd probably guess I'm a teenager based on how I act and look. I'm very inquisitive and curious, pretty playful and prankster-ish, youthful in general.

You NAILED this. Your tagline is also true. A lot of us have gender issues. It is 2016. Why are there only M and F options?

Another thing is the difference in development. NTs transform completely as they go through different life stages, like butterflies: egg->larva->pupa->adult. Then the adult lays eggs, and the cycle continues. This can cause problems with aspies in their lives, who subconsciously expect them to keep the same interests and traits throughout the friendship. I'm experiencing this with my NT friends, who have recently settled down, and their interests changed overnight.

Aspies, by contrast, keep the same framework of personality traits throughout most of their lives, more-or-less frozen at a certain development level. Similar to cats: while they grow from cute kittens into gentle seniors, they always remain cats, only their nutritional needs and activity levels change. This level can look and feel overly mature during childhood, but immature as an adult. And let's not forget the gap between intellectual and emotional maturity, which is a whole different animal.