How do I "branch out" and find friends by other means?

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TehDoomzDay
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01 Nov 2016, 8:06 pm

I am a twenty year old trying to complete my last year of high school and I am probably going to defer my diploma for some more transition-related stuff (I am actually quite behind in some areas and very ahead in others). So obviously, the people I am around quite often I find a little too young (although I am not close minded when it comes to getting to know people) at this point and to make matters somewhat worse, I moved to a another area eight months ago. I was wondering if there were anymore ways I could meet new people closer to my age group (Although, don't get me wrong, I don't deny someone a friendship based upon age and I am generally pretty open minded but I do feel a need and feeling of security also having a fair amount of people closer to my age group for a multitude of reasons; be it anxiety, past experiences, and maturity).
Also, I have tried meetup.com and going to more concerts would be great but most of the groups/bands I want to see are having shows a little too away or not at the right timing (days of the week, schedules, and what not) but I managed to be able to get tickets for one live show..
Anyhow, I could use a piece of advice, references, or just an ear (or eye in this case lol).



drlaugh
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01 Nov 2016, 8:12 pm

Loud bands and bars are IMHO illusions in relating to having friends.

Quieter places of similar interest have worked for me. It's off and on.
Unless you are a musician or music techie.

I am the former and at jams take time away from playing to talk with people.
My 2016 word of the year us relationships, including using the "dreaded" phone.

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slw1990
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03 Nov 2016, 5:48 pm

Maybe try going to an adult autism group if there's one in your area.



jagatai
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05 Nov 2016, 1:18 am

I have taken classes or joined writer's groups.

What is nice about taking classes is that there is a structured environment where I mostly understand the social rules. Since the classes I take are in areas of my interest and skills (photography, writing, film making) I can feel like I have some kind of reason for being there and I can, over time, get to know the other people in the class.

I've never felt comfortable approaching strangers and I'm fairly reserved in dealing with co-workers. I've made friends in classes, but it's not something that happens over night. And often enough, it doesn't happen at all. But at least I get something out of the class.

If you live in a big city, this is easier as there are going to be a broader range of classes. And I would guess, at least in broad categories, there is something for everyone. There are the ones I've already mentioned, but you might also look into cooking, woodworking, stained glass making, language, book clubs, yoga, misc. sports, etc.


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trapezium
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25 Nov 2016, 10:26 am

I have struggled with that a lot as well. I joined some groups related to my interests thinking that would lead to more friends. Only problem is that my interests are woodworking and volunteering, which are almost exclusively things that retired people do. No one in their 20s shows up to the groups, but I still go have a good time.

I think finding some groups related to your interests is a good place to start. It is incredibly terrifying to go to something that like for the first time, but usually worth it.



IstominFan
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26 Nov 2016, 12:24 pm

I have been able to find activities based on my interests. I find that is the best way to make friends.