No one (almost no one) believes me about AS, confused

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Sorry everyone for using this forum so much at the moment.

I am feeling stressed and confused. In the past three months I have told more people I think I have AS than I had before. I haven't yet been diagnosed but I'm on a waiting list- I've never tried for a diagnosis before. 2 of the people are teachers and their reactions were that they didn't believe me/didn't think anything was the matter. One of them is my psychology teacher, ie informed in this area. I also told someone at such who's 2 years younger than me and has depression (she's 14). She then sent me messages on Facebook saying I don't have AS because I have empathy and a sense of humour and apparently I'm not allowed to if I'm an aspie. She went on to say I'm nothing like her autistic friends, therefore a neurotypical While it seems obvious she doesn't really know what she is talking about, I'm now worrying because the majority of people I've told don't believe me.

Has anybody else had an experience of loads of people not believing you? Should I just accept that I don't have it because no one thinks I do? Or can learnt behaviours cause this kind of reaction? One person who does believe me is my counselor which I guess counts for something.

Again, sorry for overusing this forum. I'm just so fed up with everybody

I think those people might honestly be trying to make you feel better. Having Asperger's is generally seen as a negative by many people so maybe they are trying to reassure you that you don't have it. I thin that should you get a diagnosis you will have definitive proof that you are in fact on the spectrum in which case they probably will believe what you have to say.

The thing I personally am most disturbed by is the assumptions they raise about autism e.g. lacking empathy and a sense of humour. Should you get diagnosed please try to prove the suckers wrong. Don't be afraid to tell them that is not the case.

Hey, you're only 16, right?

If I could give you a piece of advice, there isn't much point in discussing this with a lot of people until you actually have some sort of diagnosis - and you are waiting for an assessment in any case. When you have to let off steam, talk to the person who does believe you, or post on this forum. There are a lot of people here who understand how you feel - and some who don't, but never mind those. If I were you I'd include my age either in my profile or at the bottom of my posts. It stops people from treating you like you're forty and should know everything.

The fortunate thing about being sixteen is that adults expect you to say stuff like this and don't take it very seriously. Which can be crap when you do have something serious on your mind, but is helpful at the times when you turn out to be wrong. If in the future you do get a diagnosis and you decide you don't want people to know it, these people will probably have forgotten all about it anyway. In general it is not a great idea to share such a diagnosis with all and sundry - it's not a magic wand that'll suddenly make people be nice to you. A lot of people who do get a diagnosis get the same reaction you got.

Finally, the only person who can tell if you have it is a highly trained diagnostician. Most people are clueless unless it's really obvious.

And the whole point of this forum is to offer support to autistic people, their families and the "cousins". If you're 16 and wondering whether you're autistic, that's a heavy load to bear alone. I went nuts posting in the beginning (very wordy person with a lot to say), and nobody's yelled at me for it yet It's the one place where perseveration is ok.

Probably coming across as a Neurotypical may be a good thing. It means that should you be diagnosed with Autism you will likely not come across as strange and be judged for it but rather as normal like the next person.

Most people don't know a lot about AS but know enough to be aware it exists and to have stereotypes about it. If your AS is not extremely obvious people don't tend to believe it.
People who have stereotypes rather than actual knowledge about any topic tend to be unaware of their lack of knowledge and tend to believe their stereotypes are the whole truth. You just don't meet their idea of what AS is.
Once you have a diagnosis you could at least tell them that it's not something you just made up but that it's actually diagnosed if anyone doubts it but till then you have little to convince them.

Wow thanks so much everyone!

AspieUtah thank you, I score 37 on the AQ test so that will work! I will use this next time!

NorthWind thank you that is all very comforting

Whatamievendoing I agree, especially when they proceed to act as though they know everything

Shahunsha true, although I think people just think I'm an antisocial, awkward and slightly rude neurotypical. I'm aware I could have it much much worse though. In response to earlier post: thanks that explains quite a lot. Also same, people can be so stupid

Underwater, thanks, that's really comforting and also thanks for effectively giving me permission to spam this forum haha.

People can disagree on things simply because they've heard differently, or have different experiences. Their opinions aren't the ones that matter unless you need them to allow you a little extra help in class or something.

What has helped me, is researching how it looks in females specifically; how that differs from how it appears in males, and then explaining it to people that way. I'm having someone read the aspergirls book to understand better. People are skeptical when I tell them too, but I think if they read this book they would see me in it as I saw myself in it, if they know me well enough anyway.

Good luck.

What may be throwing people off could be a case of nature vs nurture, maybe you have learned to better adapt to social/environmental situations than other people that find it more difficult to mask and cope w/.

While you may still feel uncomfortable or anxious about certain things, other people may not be picking up on it and will be unconvinced that there's an underlying problem to everything.

This is NT's - they believe a stupid ridiculous gossip over the truth any day.
It's how they work.
Takes them ages to believe any kind of facts.

They hate the truth, they lie to themselves to their own detriment.
That is why I don't tell anyone about my AS, and I have very mild AS.

yes. absolutely. i know it is not a good experience. but no one can tell you if you have it or not. you know, just that matters