Being of low education at 'highbrow' social events

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I never enjoyed a university-level education, and basically just started working after secondary school, mostly cleaning jobs and warehouse jobs. While I find the jobs that I've held, including the warehouse job I have right now, very enjoyable and satisfactory and get my intellectual kicks by reading books in my spare time as well as visiting expositions and film festivals, I have noticed something that has been grating on me for a long while now.

Whenever I visit events that attract a highly educated crowd (for example walks organized via meetup.com, cultural fairs, film festivals, language exchange sessions and courses), I find that a significant percentage of these intelligent people look down on me when I mention my job, sometimes to the point where they make disparaging comments. It's common for me to hear things like "Don't you find your work boring/monotonous?" "Shouldn't you go find a better job?" "Well, somebody's got to do it!"
Sometimes they don't bother with continuing the conversation at all upon learning that I'm a warehouse employee, and they just go and talk to someone else.

I was wondering if I'm alone in having this experience. Am I just taking it too hard? I know that I've met a lot of amazing people on these events, who don't look twice when I say I clean toilets or stack boxes on pallets, and we just have a great conversation. I like these open-minded people. I just find it extremely disappointing that highly educated people, often engineers (isn't Asperger syndrome 'the engineer's disorder?') and IT specialists, who would stoop so low as to disparage another person on basis of their education level or their work.

Most of the time, I just ignore it, but sometimes I get so irritated that I get defensive and I'll either defuse them by making self-deprecating jokes, or I get prickly and brush them off with sarcastic remarks. But I think social interaction shouldn't be this way, especially among two intelligent adults. So perhaps it's better for me to only focus on those people whom I get along well with and who I establish a rapport of mutual respect with.

Thoughts, you guys?

Don't mention your job. Just ignore the question and talk about something else.

I am glad that you are contempt where you are because it shows that your position will into something else as you are building skills that could turn into a job portfolio of all your work. I would take it one step at a time and see where your job lands you.
Regarding education, they have college level classes for free that you can learn on your own online without a degree. That way you could take what you learn and show these people that you are just as educated without that degree.

Regarding responses, just tell them that you would rather not say and if they push you, just politely walk away.

No, you're not alone in this experience. I've been a waitress, and absolutely LOVE it----but, one time I had this "kid" (like, early 20s, if that) come-up to me and ask: "Don't you aspire to be anything else?" LOL I said: "Oh, I've already had a career----I was an engineer (which is true)----so, I don't need to be anything more, right now!!".

The thing most people don't seem to understand, is that there are ALOT of really educated people working menial / "lowly" / whatever jobs----for instance, at that job, we had 5 or 6 engineers, 1 psychologist, several teachers, a lawyer (and I can't remember who-all----and, I knew a foreign trained medical doctor, who worked at a gas station cuz the U.S. doesn't recognize / accept / whatever, his degrees).

When you mention your job, do you drop your head and/or eyes, and lower your voice / mumble? If you do, they might be picking-up on your insecurity.

You ARE taking it a little hard, maybe----but then, they're dishing it out a little hard. We've been conditioned to only accept college-educated people, as "par" (meaning, the standard that's acceptable); but, the SMART people know that that's ridiculous----that intelligence comes-in all kinds of ways; and, quite frankly, the college educated people I've met in-person, are not always that intelligent OR SMART (IMO, a college degree makes one learned, and that's DIFFERENT).

Yeah, I can totally understand your being disappointed----maybe, part of that, is that you were expecting to meet people with whom you could "swap notes", so-to-speak; people who are more "cultured", like you are (meaning, being into "expositions and film festivals"). (I'm like that----I LOVE museums / museum lectures, chamber music, and so-forth----but, I don't tell that to most people [in-person], cuz you just open yourself up to stupid retorts, like YOU have gotten.)

Yeah, just ignore them----don't let it get to you----don't be defensive / sarcastic, cuz it only "arms" them (you know how it is, when somebody makes fun of a kid and he let's it bother him, they just do it, that much MORE); just hang with the people with whom you have / can forge a rapport. Also, look at the red part of my signature----people go absolutely nuts-o when a misfit is quite content with being a misfit; so, THEY are the ones that need to get over themselves!! LOL

A lot of people who live in an academic "bubble" don't really have a lot of experience with diversity -- ironic of course, because they are the ones who always trumpet diversity. So you can see yourself as playing an important role in educating them about people who are different.

(Alternatively, if someone acts condescendingly, you can just say, "When the Workers' Revolution comes, comrade, I will be sure to assign you to an especially large rice field.")

I wouldn't bother with those snobs, I can understand being upset/bothered by them looking down their nose at you for that, it is pretty rude of them. I see nothing wrong with the brushing off with a sarcastic remark or just walking way from the interaction...why should you be friendly to them if they're going to be rude and put you down? As far s focusing on people you do get along with, that is a good idea.

I had the same things when i mentioned my side-jobs while in college.
Not mentioning the exact job is a perfectly valid option; when pressed, you can describe something vague as "I perform a supporting function at company X", which is completely true and still is worded in the way that high-end jobs are often described (those jobs rarely have a real clear-cut function name).

Doing this might feel a bit like lying (and it might be, in a way), but a person that berates you for these symantic gymnastics, especially when you give them the reason, might not be a person you'd want to associate with.


If you are knowledgeable about "high-end" topics, then how you got them should be irrelevant.

That's the stupid thing about Western culture. It's all about chasing dreams, reaching for the stars and never being satisfied.

All this stuff about trying to reach a higher status in life is really just teaching people to never be satisfied with their current status. Why are we being taught to never be satisfied with our life as it is?

Saying that anyone can become a doctor or an engineer is really classism disguised as egalitarianism. Just because anyone can that doesn't mean everyone will.

This seeming egalitarianism is really just putting the burden of being one of the top 10% most professional people on 100% of the population and then blaming the other 90% when they don't make it into the top 10%.

Remember that some classes are graded on a curve, that means only 20% of students get an A. Why then do they still expect everyone to get an A?

That's what's so screwed up about western culture. You're satisfied with your job? Great! That means you're happier than a lot of people. Is the pursuit of happiness the purpose of life? But western culture expects you to be dissatisfied with your job and your car and your smartphone and everything else and they expect you to want better versions of these things.

How difficult would it be for you to get a degree at the present time? Lets you have a 20% chance of doing it. If that was the case, going by probability you shouldn't. Yet people will tell you to "reach for the stars" and "struggle against the odds" even if the reality is you have a < 50% chance of achieving the goal.

Another stupid thing about western culture is that everyone thinks underdog stories apply to everyone. Maybe some pauper got a law degree or some blind guy got a visual arts degree, great, good for them. But people forget these are the exceptions, not the norm. Not every pauper is going to get a law degree just because one did.

Remember that if something makes the headlines, it made the headlines because it was an unusual event, yet our culture takes the headlines as a baseline for normality (that's why people are scared of highly improbable tragedies befalling them).

We have these stories and movies about people succeeding against ludicrous odds or defeating vastly superior enemies. That makes for a great movie but people shouldn't expect it to happen in real life. In real life, Goliath will beat David 99 times out of 100.

^Nice post.

People are funny, even if you have a third level education and a decent job someone will suggest that you need more, should have done this, should have studied there...
It's the competitive mindset that exists in education, and some folk construct part of their identity based on the details of their education/job etc.

It's an American habit to always ask people "what do you do?" at social gatherings, especially among those of higher socioeconomic status. Although the truly rich folks at the top of the heap don't do that; it's more a trait of people who have room to social climb. I suppose the British do that too? Though maybe not as much as us Yanks.

That question has always rubbed me the wrong way. Of course, that's because I'm overeducated and underemployed. I hoped that one day I would become a full-fledged tenure-track professor, but alas, that was not to be. For the foreseeable future, I'll be evading that question, and grinding my teeth at it.

Yeah, sometimes middle class people can be more snobbish than rich people.

I urge you to think of this in terms of class rather than intelligence. I'm in grad school at an expensive private university, and it's obvious that my background growing up in a lower-middle class family, going to public schools is foreign to a lot of my peers. There are some brilliant students here, but there are also many who aren't. There are also some brilliant friends I had growing up who never graduated college. The truth is, some of my friends I had growing up are more insightful than most of the people I'm in grad school with now - the friends I have in mind became a bartender, a nurse, a barista, a Chinese food delivery boy... and they're more insightful and perceptive about the world than some of my peers who will be fast tracked for government careers when we graduate. The truth, I've found, is that you run into the same kinds of people at all levels of society.

I know it's irritating, and it can be painful to have people talk down to you (I worked in retail for a good while), but try to take solace in the knowledge that they're just saying these things to deal with their own feelings of awkwardness and insecurity as they try to socialize.

Also, if these kinds of comments are really eating at you, it may mean that something deep down is telling you it's time to think about a career change. If you feel content with your career path, than criticisms of it will roll off you without affecting you. But if the criticisms sting, then I suspect they're digging at your own doubts. This doesn't mean going back to school, necessarily. It just means reconsidering what you find fulfilling, then pursuing a different path.

Also, there's that old saying about: "The true measure of a man, is the way he treats his lessers, not his equals" (and there are variations attributed to many, dating-back as far as the 1700s); so, those people who said those things to you, are the ones with the problem, NOT you!!

I still think it is rude of them, and don't see why the O.P should consider career change, different goal path or do anything at all on account of those people. There are things I am content with but I'd still feel bad if someone was putting me down or looking down their nose acting all superior over something.

It's definitely rude of them, and not okay. It's good that you raise this point.
I should clarify, when I said the OP could take solace in knowing that they were speaking out of their own insecurity and discomfort, I'm saying don't put too much (or any) stock in the things they're saying, because they're saying it out of their own personal issues and flaws.

You're also right that being put down sucks and can be emotionally painful even when their criticisms are completely invalid and don't apply. The point that I wanted to make, though, is that sometimes when we really dwell on criticisms, it's because of something we're insecure about ourselves. Speaking for myself, this can prompt me to reexamine myself. This can often be beneficial for me, because I discover that something I'm doing isn't in accordance with the life I want or the person I want to be. That said, sometimes this brooding can be really unhealthy, and cause me to question myself needlessly. I guess the point I want to get at is, use these experiences as a tool to grow stronger. If people act badly, use it as a tool to become more resilient.

Sadly some people have always been and will always be snobs about what other people do for a living. Our society tends to make snap-judgements about a person based on very basic info such as how they make their income.

This is not always even to do with level of education -- I used to live in a city where it was a running joke that the person waiting your table at your favorite restaurant or diner probably had a PhD. It was something that tended to happen because it was a university city and a lot of students from other places in the country liked it so much they decided to stay after graduating, but local job shortages in their field meant they had to take anything they could get. Just a simple economic set of situations meant that some VERY educated people were cleaning houses, working retail, flipping burgers, waiting tables, etc.
It was also a creative magnet and there would be artists, musicians and writers working menial jobs. Intelligent, gifted people cleaning toilets. It happens.

But many people tend to look down on menial jobs that don't require qualifications or even training. They assume the person in that job must not be educated, and couldn't possibly be well read, informed, intelligent, interesting, talented, or capable of anything "better."

What they are overlooking is that some of these people may be on their way to something better, working their way through their education, working that job to support a career in the arts or entertainment (overnight success is never overnight success).

Or simply that they LIKE the work because they can leave it behind each day and pursue their true passions that don't happen to be income based. Or that they need that type of work because it meets their needs.

I do menial work for a couple of the above reasons. I'm intellectually capable of something more sophisticated but I don't want that. I want to leave my work behind and just get paid then go home and do what matters to me. I want time to be creative instead of have a two hour daily commute and a fifty hour week cow-towing to office politics.

But there will always be people who immediately think the worst of you when you tell them what you "do." They don't even want to hear more after that. They don't want to hear that you're an avid reader, have a bright mind, maybe have gifts and talents, have an interesting or worthwhile commitment to something bigger, whatever the case may be.

There's no pleasing snobs. You can only continue to present yourself at these events as a bright, engaged person in your actions, speech and mannerisms, and if they let a few words of information change their impression of you that drastically, they are not worth your time. Talk to the people who aren't phased by something like this.