Is there any book or online course to learn social skills?

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BlueSky96
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29 Dec 2016, 4:53 pm

Hello all, I need to know is there any books or ebooks or online course like video to learn social skills?
Like making and keeping friends, public speaking normally so I can't be seen as weird person.

I have tried to making friends every first year in school and college, but it always ended up having many acquaintance and being bullied (most of them verbally like ignoring, take some distance from me,making fun of me). From my childhood I'm wondering how to solve this because it makes me depressed and want to attempt suicide.

And how to overcome the provocator who persuade people to bully me? How to overcome bullying from group of person? Since my childhood, I often bullied even by whole of my class, it makes me hurt to remember it.

I think I am an aspie but it's still self-diagnosed



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30 Dec 2016, 8:17 am

Making and keeping friends: by far the most difficult thing you're asking about. I like playing online games and that way I get to chat with other people in a way I am most comfortable with. We share interests (gaming) and we don't have to talk in person. It's not much, but better than nothing. IRL I have little friends, and I don't have nearly as much contact with them as I'd like. But that's really just because of who I am and I haven't found a way to change that as of yet and I doubt I ever will.

Public speaking: I know for a fact that you can learn this. Requires practice, but it's a lot less complicated than social skills so it's doable even for someone with autism. From my experience it's about technique (intonation, pronunciation, speaking at a constant volume etc.) and becoming apathetic towards what people think of you as to get rid of the stress.

Bullying: I've never had to deal with bullying all that much besides my parents. But I've had to deal with a lot of negative people which is horrible and very bad for your mental health. The best solution is: don't deal with them. Ban them out of your life when possible. They're not worth your energy. Surround yourself with nice people that accept you and support you.



diablo
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31 Dec 2016, 4:16 pm

Books like "The Charisma Myth" and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" have a lot of helpful advice to offer. I can't recommend any titles for bullying but maybe look for ptsd related books?


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BetwixtBetween
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05 Feb 2017, 7:06 pm

There are books on manners and books on reading body language. Both of these are very helpful. If you can learn from TV too, I found Girl Code and Guy Code from MTV to be extremely helpful in understanding some of the unwritten rules in my own culture.



jrjones9933
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05 Feb 2017, 7:32 pm

I need to go back and finish How to Win Friends and Influence People. It blew my mind so hard, I had to put it down and just try to apply the first part I learned. It's an absolute classic for good reason.


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05 Feb 2017, 8:52 pm

A lot of this stuff can be learned by searching for the relevant videos on You-Tube;


...also...


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05 Feb 2017, 10:43 pm

diablo wrote:
Books like "The Charisma Myth" and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" have a lot of helpful advice to offer. I can't recommend any titles for bullying but maybe look for ptsd related books?


Yes, I especially like "The Charisma Myth" ... lots of good tips on body language for social situations.

I also recommend watching some of the videos put out by Marie Dubuque:

https://www.youtube.com/user/mariedubuque

Her most recent YouTube video is titled: "When someone makes fun of your appearance"

She also has a whole section on Friendship.

Good luck! :)



Glflegolas
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18 Feb 2017, 6:35 pm

The best way to improve social skills -- as with anything -- is practice. However, that can turn into a bit of a catch 22. In order to practice them, you'll need somebody to practice them on. Unfortunately, it's rather hard to convince somebody to become your friend by saying "Hey, can we become friends so I can practice my social skills". Chances are they'll look at you as if you came from outer space.

My suggestion is; try and convince somebody to become your friend not in words, but in deed. If you impress them with you talents, then they might be more willing to befriend you, despite your poor social skills (that's how I did it. Disclaimer: not responsible for any damages caused by attempting this approach)

But no, I don't know about any books or online courses relating to learning social skills, but I'm sure that there are plenty of YouTube videos on the subject. Perhaps look at Krystal Bella Shaw's YouTube channel? She has all kinds of videos about dyspraxia and aspergers that might be of help.


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