Are you better one-on-one, or in a group?

Post Reply New Topic

One-on-one. In a group setting, I don't know when it's my turn to speak and when I try, someone always cuts me off.

One on one, most definitely. The problem comes when multiple people try to get my attention at once and I have to switch back and forth between conversations. When that happens in an online chat I usually try to get my friends into one group to make it a bit easier to manage, although it usually ends up with me and one other person dominating the conversation. If it's not me dominating part of the conversation, then I'm usually one of the guys on the sidelines.

In a group. One-on-one doesn't work since I can't keep a conversation flowing to save my life, in groups there's at least a chance things work - it doesn't always since I can't get myself into the conversation, but sometimes, especially if with people who are great socially, I can actually take part (though very passively, spend most of the time just listening) which works for me.

One-on-one, easily. In groups, if I know anyone in said group, it's not so bad. If it's total strangers, such as at a party, I'm lost. I might as well be in my own universe. Even online, I'd rather converse one-on-one. That may be because I crave attention, though.

I've found that I'm best in a trio with two other people. I'm not responsible for keeping the conversation flowing, but I'm always a part of the conversation. It's not too overwhelming, and I don't get shut out.

I'm more confident one-on-one as well, but small groups can be good depending on the situation. It does of course also depend on what you're talking about. Personal stuff I feel awkward when others are around, unless of course they're part of it.

Tangentially I like the size of where I work where really there are no more than a dozen people in the company. It means a manageable group of people to work and communicate with.

I have a hard time trusting groups and believe people's interactions change in them.
1-2-1's all the way.

And you'd be right.

For better or worse, members of a friendship circle hide their individuality and become homogeneous in fashion sense, mannerisms, overall behavior (e.g. a group of ruffians), and interests.

Something about fitting-in, conformity, being too afraid to have a contrary opinion or reveal hidden interests that conflicts with the groups values (e.g. gay male in a homophobic group of friends).

In small groups I tend to get overwhelmed with rapidly changing directions of conversations and end up falling mostly silent because I just can't keep up.

In large groups people tend to splinter off into smaller groups so it doesn't really matter there.

Group

Definitely perform better socially with just one other person instead of a group. Actually, I think my motivations or at least what causes the slight increase in my social skills for this scenario are kind of selfish: I get a person all to myself, while with a group I'll struggle to stay even at the boundaries of their talk and actions.