What does it mean when someone say "it is not best to c.."

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I was a client in a program. She was not my case manager but she did groups. She got another job. She is in her mid 20s. I found where she worked and gave her a call. I wished her Merry Christmas from the most recent past one. I asked her if it was ok for me to call and wish her a Merry Christmas once a year. She said in a gently voice "it is best for you to not contact me and best for me to contact you." What does that mean and why?

Thanks.

Professional clinicians shouldn't be too close or familiar with their clients. There are professional rules and, usually, state laws against it. Not that what you did was illegal. It just put your clinician in a tough spot.

Is there anyway or where I can read about these professionals rules so I know and understand? I want to ensure that I don't want to get them in trouble. Thanks.

I don't know where you live, but most nations, states and local communities have various "unprofessional conduct" laws and rules for various professions including therapists. In my state, administrative rules give a good example of what is typically expected of licensed professionals ( http://www.rules.utah.gov/publicat/code ... 0a.htm#T14 ). Your own community rules might be slightly different. Even though something a person might do or say isn't exactly illegal or unprofessional, most therapists and other licensed professionals are extra careful, just in case. After all, the laws and rulles exist to protect you and your therapist(s). I hope this example helps you.

A lot of times, when someone gets a new job, any friendships they had from their old job come to an end. Everybody just moves on with his or her life.

Why they keep saying to go get help? I am talking about on the news. When you ask for help, they appear to be concerned. I overheard once with a case manager that a client was hearing voices. She asked questions. The point is they act like they care and concern. Let's just say that they left their job. And the person needs help or someone to talk to. They don't want to help you or make sure if you are ok. Maybe once a year to say hi. If they were concerned about you, they check up at least once a year.

If everyone is like that, that means nobody wants to help another. So what the point? You either keep getting referred to someone else and eventually you have no where to turn. Even if they don't, then there is nobody. Also if you contact the program that helps people that you were in, they say we can't do anymore. That means how do you get other resources. I was in a day program and they suppose to look at housing for me. Since I'm no longer there, they won't. So what is all these professsionals claiming to help.

So I don't know why they emphasize someone who is mentally ill to go get help. Also they only help you if you pay them. If you don't, then they won't help you. Then they shouldn't tell them go get help. And they shouldn't get in trouble. That means there won't be any jobs or anybody doing them.

Exactly.
The mental health profession is a profession.
It's about the money.
And yes, it's a sad world we live in.

Anyways, I hope you will still see what you can get in the way of help.
Especially with housing.
And if you still have questions about the old day program you were at,
I think it's worth a try calling them back.
Somehow you need to find out what you're entitled to, and get it.

EDIT: From another post you made in the Haven, now I'm confused as to whether you quit your day program, or whether the day program dropped you, possibly for breaking rules? Apparently they see you as capable, and you disagree? So now I'm a bit confused ... that said, I hope everything works out for you.

What do you mean by a profession? My day program dropped because I broke the rules. I guess not following the program's policies meaning rules. Therefore, it is for breaking rules. The letter never specified. They did say that I wasn't participating.

When they said I was capable, I told them that I wanted to be treated like the other people and shouldn't called to me in groups a lot. They didn't do that before until I mention "family of origin" in group. First two years, nothing. Suddenly saying that in a group in the third year, they looked at me. I didn't know what that meant. I got interested in psychology and start reading and self help books much later that arrive me to say that because a small page of what I read in a self help book.

I don't remember what they told me in the discussion about participation. Last thing was that I mention that they didn't call to them more than I did. Their response was "because you are capable". I asked what they meant and how. They said nothing.


Much much later, a staff member in group talked about something. I told them I have a possible psychological explanation. She asked me to give my opinion. I told her that I didn't want to waste her time and the group and to move on. I think I said, "no, that is alright. You should continue on in group." She insist, I told her that I didn't want to waste the group's time.

One incident in another group, a member talked about his or her opinion in great length, but the case manager said that they heard enough and quote "we have to move on."

The day before the discharge, they said "we know you have thoughts" in an angry way. Nothing came to mind and I forgot. It seem like I heard the words and thats it. I don't know what they were angry about.

I did tell lots of staff members that "I love them" a lot during the year. My case manager said it was inappropriate. I asked what she meant. She didn't say nothing." All she said it was inappropriate. I like telling them that.

I did look it up in dictionary now. I probably forgot the word inappropriate and didn't think of looking in the dictionary. Anyway, appropriate mean "suitable or proper". I didn't know what they meant. I also look up those two definitions. I didn't understand. What makes me saying that inappropriate? I thought that is a good thing.

In an email, I asked if I was doing ok in the program. Their response was that I was doing ok and do what I was told. I asked what that were, they didn't tell me.

So I don't know what this all means. What makes me capable and why they are mad and maybe why I got kicked out. I been in the program for about 5 years. 4 years was ok. Suddenly problems start and I didn't know why.

I tried to do better. Third year, I asked for feedback for strengths and what I need to work on. They said nothing.

Now I'm thinking that they don't like that stuff I did. Reading, improving, and asking questions so I can do better and improve myself. I'm thinking they don't like that. If they wanted to help me, they would. I asked my case manager to help me understand what I'm reading. I read something called reading comprehension. I didn't understand it. She didn't know I was reading up on it. When I asked about improving my reading comprehension, she told me to read an article related to it.

I thought these people knew because they went to school, educated, and know how to understand that stuff. I wanted them to teach me. Sometimes I wonder if people have time for me. I forgot, but remember now, I don't know why it didn't come to mind before, I asked a counselor in college about how to study, she told me that it was my responsibility. Isn't that a sign for help? It seems like nobody has time. At least I asked for help.

I hope you guys understand now. I just don't get it.

1) Maybe they consider you "too intelligent" for the program? You learned more than they wanted you to?

2) It seems they really don't want you telling people that you love them. When someone tells you to stop, and you continue doing it, that's considered harassment and can bring all kinds of trouble or punishment.

Anyways, I hope you can get help.
And I hope you can get someone to help you ...
especially if you need help with housing.

If she found you attractive and was interested in you, she wouldn't have cared about any stupid rule.

But she is not, and in that case, the rule is the best pretext. (The rules are about exploiting and having abusive relationships with clients, not against normal relationships)

Don't waste your time with her.