In need of friendship/relationship advice

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Hey there!

(Apologies for any mistakes, English is not my first language.)

I'm female, 25 y/o and highly alexithymic (scored 163 points on alexithymia.us). I have great difficulties connecting emotionally to other people even when I care about them. At the same time, I'm a naturally extraverted person so I feel very tired when I don't have any social contact.

I don't have much trouble with small talk and and getting to know other people, it's something I studied for some time. I usually make up an emotional persona, acting like I assume others would in my situation. This is very tiring, and after some time people notice that something's off (like my lack of a spontaneous reaction).

So far I haven't been able to keep up any long-term relationship. After a while, people start being cold and distant with me at best, doubtful and condescending at worst. I noticed I have more luck with those who are at least 10 years older than me (they seem to be more including), but I really miss peer contact.

Is there anything I can do about my situation?

You might have better luck being your authentic self, rather than acting out a persona. It's much less exhausting and doesn't make people distrust you like faking it does. I'm assuming by alexithymia you mean you can't describe your emotions. There are areas of life where talking about emotions isn't very important. Hang out with scientists, programmers, men generally, and you won't hear much discussion of "feelings".

The only advice I would give to you is to talk about your difficulties with the people, exactly as you are doing here.
If you present yourself pretending to be different from who you are, you will only find people who aren't looking for someone like you, but for someone like the one you pretend to be.

Somehow I find more easy and honest the online relationships. But I also am an introvert, so maybe it won't work for you.

I might be able to help with a conversation program we developed at UCLA. My team is preparing to announce it on WP---maybe in march. It's a lot of work, some of it fun--and gratifying when you see it's starting to work
As an old professor, I've watched many aspies put the work in to get more comfortable with talk-turns, questions, advice, explanations etc. Let me know if you're interested.