Solving a mystery

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So its my first year at university and everyone made their friends and all that but of course I didnt make any friends at all. but something ive noticed is not only am I not friends with anyone on the course I am not wanted by any of them, but I dont know why or what im doing wrong.

whenever I approach them to introduce myself into a conversation with them I usually try to catch them when they are not already talking to people so as not to be rude. but two types of problems arise. either they do the first one which is, they ignore me, this is where I try to start a conversation where I say hi, or I make a point on something I know they are interested in, or I ask how to do something within the current coursework we're on, they just stare me in the face for a little while, maybe even open their mouth and then.....nothing, they act like it never happened. the second problem happens just like that but instead of the last part they look at me for a second then they turn and start talking to their friends instead. there have been two times during this whole year where ive managed to do a bit of a conversation with them.


the big problem here is I dont know what ive done wrong, I dont know why they refuse to socially interact with me. but ive made a list of what I think might be the problem:

1.my body language is wrong? Ive never been able to do this at all before I either dont think about it at all or I suddenly become conscious of it and then I cant stand correctly and hell I dont even know what correctly is

2. its apparently obvious that I am autistic or at least something is wrong with me according to 3 guys I was put in a group with for a group project. I even won one of them some money as they made a bet. these 3 guys have never talked to me again after this group project but do sort of respond to me trying to prompt conversations with friendly responses

3. I dress weird? all the way through the cold seasons all the way up till recently now its hot I have worn the same coat and the same trousers (not literally the same trousers but I have like 7 pairs of identical trousers) and now I am wearing everything the same but with a hoodie (a black one) instead of the coat due to the hot weather. could they think this is weird or off putting?


4. they are all just A**holes. could be this one, from what ive been over hearing from most of them is all talk about how everything they do is superior to the way everyone else does it or their gaming taste is considerably higher quality then everyone elses, which is bad because they all regularly insult companies/game series I am very much into or like (without knowing im into it of course). and how they just cant wait for more work cos they are so dedicated.


5. im not as smart as most other people, I tend to be pretty dumb, some people tell me its in a kinda cute way others say its in an annoying way but ive never been as fast as my peers both academically and non academically. maybe that annoys them because they are all so into intelligence and use words I dont understand or are way ahead of me in the coursework or something. (usually get way better grades then me as well....).


I dont know, what do you guys think? I dont really mind that I dont have any friends, im a loner anyways I find friends to be a burden and just get in the way but I certainly dont like rejection or exclusion.


oh also hi, ive not been here in a long while, lots of university stress and business all year

Maybe your voice is too low and they don't hear you. I

It's impossible to say. From your description, their behavior sounds strange...unless you were trying to insert yourself in to a conversation and interrupted their social dynamics and flow of thought with the other person, or you interrupted them at a point the other person had just prompted them and it would be rude of them to ignore the person they were already engaged with.

Is there a social skills group on your campus? They might be able to give you more insight in to the problem.

I was really awkward at your age too and people's mouths hung open too but I didn't realize what I did wrong.

A few things that I have learned
1. Just greet these people with "Good morning, how are you?" and just keep walking
2.Join some special interest groups because those are the places where you aren't going to feel awkward because when you have things in common with someone they aren't going to notice your flaws
3. I wouldn't say that you aren't as smart as they are because it's bad for your self-esteem. The best thing to do is find the best study strategy that works for you

If you want to work on your social skills - try improveyoursocialskills.com and Daniel Wendler has lots of free advice on his site in addition to having Asperger's Syndrome.

You may also check out "The Asperger Experts" with Danny Raede because he has some videos and other things that could help you.

Their responses do seem strange. It sounds like you would need input from someone who can observe you. I feel like it could be any number of things, as simple as your speech isn't clear to them for whatever reason.

Have you noticed these reactions in other settings, or is it just this group of people? If it's just them, then it may just be them... Maybe they're too dumb to not be scared of what they don't immediately understand, or maybe they're just shallow jerks. I came across a lot of really awful people in college. In that case, you should try to find friends in other settings and just go about your business in class.

It could also be that somehow that particular class or group of people makes you nervous or anxious and it's causing some sort of off-putting verbal or nonverbal response in you that you're not aware of. If you get similar reactions from other people in other classes or outside of school, then maybe you have some verbal or nonverbal habit that you don't realize you're doing. Again, I guess the best thing would be to have someone who can observe you in your social settings. Perhaps the support group would be a good thing to seek out, as others have suggested...

I agree with Banana on the shallow piece though you want to make you learn to pay attention to your mannerisms.

Example-
I have learned that if you keep a closed postured and point your feet away from people then others think you aren't interested in them. If you have an open posture with your arms and legs spread, with palms facing up people will think you are open to discussion.

Other things I learned:
1. A friend said that I tell people too many details about my personal life including that I have Asperger's which people can use against me and especially the Asperger's
2. Keep the conversation positive and talk about relevant information such as projects related to the area of college you are in.
3.Don't go into lots of details about your interests and ask others about theirs

Introductions often go like this
Person A: Good morning
Person B: Hi there, good morning to you as well
Or
Person A: Hey like your hair
Person B. Thank you, I like your shirt
Person A. Who colored it?
Person B. I did
Person A. That's a good look for you. (If you have a homework assignment). What class is that?
Person B. Geology 1104 with a lab
Person A. That's a my favorite/least favorite course. Who's teaching?
Person B. He goes by professor Slate
Person A. Did you say Dr. Slate?
Person B. Yes I did
Person A. They helped me last semester. Has she stated talking about that volcano project yet?
Person B. yes

People are best left alone. Interact with them without a very convincing reason at your own peril. Convincing to them, not to you, that is.

I've had this at some of the places I worked. I don't have any answers for you except that I have had other jobs (like the one I have now) where most people are nice. There does seem to be a group mentality happening in every group. Your one is possibly one in which they are all trying for one-up-man-ship, hence the bragging and talking themselves up. Basically it sounds like they all think they are still in school.