Not knowing what to say

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Anyone else have this problem? Besides having a devastating social anxiety, I simply don't know what to say most of the time. It happens quite often that I'm standing in a group of people but hardly contribute to the conversation.

I can have informative conversations when people ask me questions or vice versa, but when someone simply makes some kind of remark, I usually respond with "yes"/"no"/"uhu". People probably get the idea that I'm not interested in talking, but I am.

For those who have this: what have you done to improve this?

This happens to me all the time...

When in a conversation with multiple people I end up being silent and not knowing what to say. And when I try to contribute, my interventions usually seem off-key to others. They usually point it out to me or they give me a look that suggests it. Group dynamics are quite chaotic so I guess that there's no way around it other than trial and error, as long as you can keep the anxiety at a tolerable level so that you won't unwillingly walk away. Nonetheless, I cannot say that I've found a way to solve this issue myself.

I think it is important to make people understand that you are genuinely interested in talking. Body language may feel forced and unnatural, but it works better than being quiet and seeming tense and uncomfortable if you can't think of anything to say. And it is usually the same protocol: smile, eye-contact, relaxed posture, body facing the other person, arms not crossed. It also helps me to make a list of "acceptable" responses to different kind of remarks. When I do this it makes me feel like performing a theater play, but I think it's justified if it will get you what you want.

Yes story of my life. I even fake being bubbly and it still isnt enough.

Synic, I have the same (similar?) issue. I'm just a shade under a decade older than you, it seems. So this is what I do and why I do it:

If I have nothing to say, I don't say it.

If I have something to say, I usually say it. Also, I have gotten in trouble--starting arguments and such--because of being too direct or saying something not pertinent to the conversation. It happens.

Why I follow this pattern, is because I studied Taoism a bit during my tenure as a Homo Sapiens Sapiens (anthropology joke, by the way..heh), and Lao Tzue says, more or less:
"there's time for heavy breathing, and there's time for slow breating;
there's a time to lead, and there's a time to follow"

If I'm not too mistaken, we all just learn new skills as we go along in life. The best advice I can give, based on my observations of people, is to notice how "old-timers" almost always know what to say at any given time. It's very pleasant to watch...for me.

I hope this helps.

I had that problem majorly all my life. I deal with it by avoiding socializing when I can. I kept to myself a lot all my life. I rather talk to people one on one when I can which also helps. I never had many friends & I mostly just listened when in groups with them or others.

Sometimes I think a woman serving me at the supermarket likes me. Just little looks she gives. Could be wrong, in this instance it feels she does. I don't always think that when looks come my way.

I've no idea what to say. I'm too shy and unimaginative in conversation.

This happens to me frequently, and, taking that I was an outgoing child i would kind of just LOOK for things to say, which usually ended up not being appropriate whoops. Now I'm much more reserved and kind of just go silent when I'm socially confused unless I'm with close family or friends. I'll still 'word vomit' out of confusion just not in anxious or uncomfortable situations.

I feel as though it would be helpful to tell the person you are listening, and want to talk, but may be unsure of how to respond. That can be pretty helpful I think.

If we all had imaginative post-it notes posted to our foreheads, would that be better as then, the person we deem attractive or trying to get some recognition from, would be utterly in our debt?

I fancied this guy from a glass wear shop recently, and well I found out his age today, and I still do, so that hasn't put me off.
However, he does have a girlfriend, and when I checked him out on social media, I discovered this to be true, did wonder earlier if she was actually waiting for him, or the other way around. I may be making myself sound envious by seeing that, but well.. he isn't even in my locality, that was another thing I discovered, via his co-worker. The signs, as far as I could gauge to be, felt real enough, but I had to remind myself, I was paying out for something at the end, which I went to get earlier. He must have known I was older, and the little looks I got from the measurements, so clear I could draw out an axis chart of his cute angular face, was slightly painful for me, but I took courage from it. I got as far as, do you get a break? This didn't go much further, as everyone else had gotten theirs, and more people came in. Talk about a price on love. I know I could have wrapped this thing up in a seductive way, but I didn't feel too inclined, plus its the age too. 10 years younger, makes me feel like the older woman that I now know to be. Bday soon.

Yep yep yep! I'm like that too. I got a lot of crap for that when I was in my younger teens. People told me I was too quiet and stuff. When I'm around like minded people and those who know me well, it's not a problem. My current friends won't get mad if I don't talk all the time.

I don't really know how to improve this when it comes to strangers or people you don't know very well though... Maybe if you find something interesting, instead of just saying "yeah", you can say something like "oh that's interesting!".