Isolating myself from friends

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I don't really know how or where to start. This has been going on for a while, and only now is it really starting to boil over.

So basically, most of my friends are online, and I've made lots through social media and Discord chatrooms. There are about 2-3 friends I would talk to everyday through private messages, as well as a large-scale chat server with about 20+ active members. We'd mostly talk about cartoons, video games, our special interests, etc. It was all fine, really. I had great fun.

Recently, though, I've started to burn out. There are a few reasons that I could get into, but the main reason is that I just don't like having to talk to so many people for such long periods of time. The large-scale server was fine because I could just pop in, say a few words, leave, and nobody would complain or miss me too much. But with the private-messages, if I send somebody just one little thing, they initiate a 4-hour-long conversation. It's fun when I'm in the mood for it and have stuff to say, but sometimes I just wanna send them a meme or something.
I could just not reply until I feel ready, (which I try doing most of the time,) but then I just get really anxious because I feel like I'm being ignorant.

I almost never initiate conversations myself anymore. A lot of the time it feels kinda.... one sided? Like, usually they go on about their day, what they've been doing, what they thought of this or that, etc. At risk of sounding self-absorbed, it feels like nobody's really interested in what I'm doing or what I think of something. To be fair, it's not like I have to wait for them to ask me, but I always feel like I'm forcing the conversation to be all about me when I try otherwise. Part of me wonders if I'm, like, boring or something.

I haven't opened Discord in weeks now. Even when I feel like I should, I don't, because I know I'll probably have a billion messages on it that've piled up over the past few weeks. I can't stand clutter like that. Can't even stand to talk to my buddies on the server anymore, because I'm just so burnt out.
I've been avoiding Twitter, Tumblr, Deviantart, etc, because they send me messages there, too. Plus I don't wanna post stuff while I'm on my social break, because then it'll really look like I'm ignoring them.

I don't really know what to do. I miss my friends, yet simultaneously don't want to be around my friends. I can't tell if I just need more time off, or if I'm making myself feel worse by being alone. I'm scared, lonely, and frustrated.

I would suggest that you write a note to all your friends explaining what happened.

Let your friends know that you were feeling burned out on online socializing. Let them know you feel that you are now starting to recover from burnout, but that you need to keep private chats brief for now, especially during the next week or two while you catch up on old messages.

I would suggest that, for now, you leave out the part about one-sided conversations. That's a separate issue that you can perhaps address with your friends later, if you ever decide to address it openly with them at all.

In your initial note to each of your friends, I would suggest that you also tell them you missed them, and then pay each of them a few sincere compliments, letting them know some specific things about them that you missed.

P.S.: You're certainly not alone in your issues with private messages vs. online group conversation. Many of us are that way online, whereas in real life we are the opposite. See the separate thread Group Social Situations versus/compared to Forums.

I agree with Mona.

But I would also emphasize to these people that you value hanging out with them----you just want to hang out a little less, that's all.

Tell them you would feel sad and lonely if they weren't friends with you (should that be true).

Isolation from friends is a DSM symptom of clinical depression



However, not all social interactions are positive and not all positive social interactions are worth the cost benefit analysis



Maybe you could meet different friends

This is usually why I don't initiate conversations, many times I feel it's one sided and people don't seem interested in what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. I also don't want to sound self-absorbed so I don't know what to do cause I feel like I force the conversation to be about me as well. I have always wondered if it's because people find me boring.

As far as burnout go, I think just explaining your situation to your friends is a good idea. I don't know whether it will work or not cause when I tried before it failed but...that was just one time.