No friends and no relationships - totally alone in the world

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I understand how you feel - I truly do! My father died when I was 12, both my grand father and grand mother just passed within a year apart from each other. My mother is a heroin addict that has been using since I can remember... She is never clean and always off somewhere getting high or in prison. I cut her off years ago. My brother just got out of prison doing 10 years and we don't talk much. My sister moved to Wisconson, I live in Jersey. I had an ex that was a drug user. She kept getting high while we were together and it caused fights. We split up for a few days one time we fought and that's when she got pregnant. I stuck around and raised a child that wasn't mine for two years only for my ex to take my daughter from me forcefully through a court order. She moved to north Carolina and I haven't seen my little princess in almost a year. I come home everyday and fight off severe depression and try to drown it out with my iPod, movies, manga, programming, etc. It's been rough and it never gets easier!

We autistics are not the only culture that have struggled to make friends or connect with people. In fact, there are lots of people who end up alone who aren't on the spectrum. In fact, there is a psychologist, named Sharon Livingston, who has a ted talk about toxic friendships and loneliness.

Three of the things she brought up that have really come to mind
1. She said that it's common for a lonely person to become co-dependent on anyone who is pays attention to them and considers them as a "Friend," and even if the relationship or situation is not healthy.
2. Livingston said that after her friend dumped her, she decided to look at herself in the mirror and tell her "I am going to be your friend," and do all of the things with herself that she would have liked to do with her toxic friend that she never got to because she spent all this time and energy in taking care of her friend and her drama. Because of that she learned to like herself which drew better friends who appreciated her.

What is her third point?

I feel so alone here. Nobody in Houston has the same interests as me, and I have seriously been considering relocating to Seattle because there is supposedly a huge animated sitcom fan base there.

Also, being a political moderate is a deal-breaker with most people, at a time where we have to force ourselves to be hyper-partisan.

No friends, no job, nothing positive in my life. It is hard not to be depressed and anxious. Having lived such a hard life, I am full of self pity. Having Aspergers seems to be the worst thing in this world. Having no friends, everyone does not understand me, everyone seems to hate me. I have suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, obsessive thinking and social phobia all because I am stuck with Aspergers. I have the right to have self pity. Poor little old me is cursed with Aspergers.

Mostly alone, I have a few good friends and I seem to make friends when I'm at a new job, or at gatherings ... or whenever I step out for a coffee. I'm still on speaking terms with my mom (they only one who really accepted me and my autism diagnosis in the family).

Ok ... I may not be as alone as I thought I was ...

I'm alone too. My family doesnt accept my diagnosis. For the most part it has been kept a seceret. There was one guy at work who I thought was my friend but turned on me. We were close for months, and suddenly he started ignoring me. Today I asked him what was wrong and he said I was immature and dont take criticism well and it wasn't his job to teach me how to grow up. He said he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. I was blindsided. I am completely independent, own my own house, vehicles, pay my own bills. He is nearly a decade older than me, NT, has nothing and lives completely off his parents and is childish in every way. But I didnt point that out in case our friendship could be salvaged one day. I feel lost because my only friend left me on such confusing terms. I cant figure out if I was actually the problem or not. I thought things were going well. I guess its for the best because he always said psychology was fake and pushed by the government, and mental illness was in the imagination. I dont think someone who says outlandish things like that is a healthy influence for me as I have both AS and paranoid personality disorder. I just dont know what to do now because my family doesnt talk about mental health and I have 0 friends. I came back to this forum after many years hoping i can find friends online. I'm lost and confused and dont know whose fault it is.

Hi amboxer 21! I notice you're in New Jersey. Are you aware of the local in-person support groups for autistic people there? In case you aren't:

ASPEN, based in New Jersey, has support groups in 3 places: Ridgewood (North Jersey), Marlboro (Monmouth County), and Whippany (Morris County).

Here in NYC, in case that's more convenient for you, there are two different organizations that run support groups: the professional-led AANE-NY (see right hand column of section titled "groups for individuals on the spectrum" starting at the middle of the page) and the peer-led Aspies for Social Success.

I have problems with this and have been depressed over it myself
F