How is pandemic influencing social-skill concerns?

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Noam1515
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05 Dec 2020, 11:16 am

The pandemic is definitely hurting social skills, or practicing social skills and being in situations where you can work on your social skills or practice them. Less opportunities to meet new people, means having less friends and less social situations to be in.
But let me tell you this. Instead, you can do it on the phone with various people or companies you make a call to. The only disadvantage is the skills you might learn, wont be helpful when you start seeing people face to face when the pandemic calms down. If you have a problem with facial expressions, or the way you stand / look at people, these problems will remain. They dont see how you're doing these things on the phone. They only hear your voice.



adromedanblackhole
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08 Dec 2020, 1:49 am

zenaspie wrote:
I go outside for a walk quite often and I feel like if someone talks to me I will forget how to reply or even say my name

every time I get in range for smiling and waving I hesitate as it is unclear if this is acceptable behavior still...


Experience has confirmed now, it is not. People do NOT smile and wave back.



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12 Dec 2020, 11:30 am

My social skills had been at an all-time low by around January of this year before changes in society started happening. So I lost no social skills from a pandemic simply because I had none to lose in the first place.



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30 Dec 2020, 6:57 pm

Agree - I have noticed a loss of motivation/purpose to interact with other people in 2020. I've stopped trying to be social. I've almost completely stopped calling my parents who live local. I can't get motivated even to call family.



nouse
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05 Jan 2021, 5:40 pm

adromedanblackhole wrote:
So for most of my life I've registered to "normal" people as an eccentric, a beloved oddball. It's actually only in my adult life where I'm finding it damn near impossible to forge connections with people because the rules of social conduct are considerably more rigid and typically revolve around professional lines, competency, and net worth. I find people to just flat out care about you less because the categorizations of people only become more and more narrow with age.

Anyhow, I have found that my dear god I have gotten stranger since quarantine. I say that intentionally self-effacing, I genuinely find it amusing as do my few good friends who are my friend primarily because I am this amusingly odd figure in their life.

I went to the post office the other day and I most definitely came across like I was just off the spaceship in every conceivable way. I just felt like my mannerisms were unusually different, I was trying to make eye contact with the postal worker and ask him questions that other humans would ask but I felt like that made it verrrrry obvious. I really got a heightened sense that most people are these nice neat little boxes, and I am a wild vortex that is expanding and swirling energy everywhere I go.


Another encounter that a split second after it happened I couldn't help but laugh. So my license expired, the DMV is not making new appointments - that's the back story it's incredibly frustrating to deal with. There are these third party remote businesses that contract with the DMV for very simple tasks. I just have a form to submit for my vision. That is all. No big deal. Really should be able to fax, email, mail this to someone but that would be if the DMV functioned like a business or for that matter functioned at all. I go to a AAA membership center and ask the woman do they only help AAA members. When she said yes I just turned and left and she went "uh oh? Oh? K?" I makes me laugh thinking about it but I legitimately forgot that you're required to exit a conversation like that with something pleasant like, "oh, thank you for letting me know. I don't have a need for becoming a member no thank you I'll be on my way." Not just immediately turning and leaving without saying anything else.

I feel like I need to start recording my interactions with humanity because I find them to be hilarious.

Hmm. People tend to like me, I think. Not as a friend but as a quirky company. I'm like breath of fresh air to many. I won't make friends but at least I can entertain. They still care too much about their status and people who have quite became my friends later withdrew because there were more appropriate people who do not like quirks. I actually sound like a typical person with schizotypal personality.


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25 Jan 2021, 1:39 pm

Lately, I've increasingly empathized with what many NTs (at least small-talk wise) have felt about social contact limitations necessary to curb the pandemic.



IsabellaLinton
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25 Jan 2021, 2:46 pm

I've had to learn to be more verbal and direct, using Zoom with doctors. I absolutely hate being on camera. I don't try making eye contact because I don't do that even in real life ... but it's still awkward being face to face, feeling like I've invited them into my home.

I'm more aware of the awkward silences when I'm on camera. I'm more aware of whose turn it is to speak. It's all really hard for me, but I suppose I've made some gains.

Crying on Zoom is the worst. Last week I cried and didn't have a tissue at hand.


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10 Feb 2021, 5:14 pm

As mentioned, the pandemic has limited opportunities to venture out e.g., dining-out - hence diminished opportunities to glean insights from important experiences via osmosis.



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13 Feb 2021, 3:34 pm

The direct impact of the pandemic on my daily life has been minimal. I don't feel like it's taking much of a toll on my social skills either. I'm used to spending long periods with little to no contact with people and only interacting occasionally (on a one-to-one basis) when needed.

I was just very anxious at first when there were occasions like when my banking app didn't work properly and I had to go to the bank, because going out is always taxing, and then managing to NEVER touch my face and stuff like that while also dealing with people and the weather and whatnot is ten times more taxing. But after having gone out a few times during this period, I think it has become automatic enough, so it doesn't make me as anxious anymore.

I haven't had any friends that I see in person for years now, so... that hasn't changed.


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25 Feb 2021, 2:53 pm

Lately, I've felt that many thoughtful NTs (esp. NT-like with High Functioning Autism (HFA)) might increasingly become receptive towards learning from the experiences that those of us with HFA have lived-with all along.

I've personally taken an NT-like advocate; that is the experiences felt from diminished opportunities for small talk with familiar people.

Regarding HFA perspectives, limited opportunities to glean social-skill insights from important experiences via osmosis.



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28 Feb 2021, 1:00 pm

I find this scamdemic to be an aspie's gold mine, social-wise. People who are still social distancing, I want nothing to do with them, and they still stay home to being with. But people who are willing and ready to go out again are strangely forgiving of other people's low-level social awkwardness. They just attribute it to "a side effect of social distancing for too long", rather than innately poor social skills. Which means little mistakes like standing too close, not shaking hands firmly enough, hugging too closely or too standoffishly, saying something off-topic in a group conversation, and such, are forgiven, rather than seen as "creepy". The people we meet are often starved for human contact too, and willingly give a socially awkward aspie the benefit of doubt, rather than push him/her away at the first sign of social awkwardness.

{redacted}



Last edited by Cornflake on 07 Mar 2021, 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.: Removed an off-topic political diatribe

Joe90
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28 Feb 2021, 4:29 pm

Apart from slightly reducing the number of COVID hospitalisations, lockdown is actually doing more harm than good to people's mental states.

My little niece is nearly 4 and hasn't had the chance to go to nursery or anything, and she's due to start school in September. It's quite worrying really, because she's missing out on mixing with other children during the most important years of her social skills development. It is very important for infants aged 2-4 to be playing with other children their age, and being isolated indoors during those years can have an affect on how they develop socially and interact with their peers. Yes, NTs still do need to be in social environments with their peers to develop and learn their social skills.


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07 Mar 2021, 6:23 am

Most of my off-work social interactions before the pandemic, centered around going on excursions, visiting the cinema, expositions, conventions, book clubs, and the like.. based in meet-up groups and organisations for common interests and hobbies. Needless to say that stopped dead from March 2020.

Now, most of my interactions are at work itself, other than visits to the store or interacting with my mom every weekend. I work at a warehouse here in the Netherlands, but virtually all warehouse personnel at my job are migrant workers from Poland, Hungary, Romania and other East and South European countries. I barely ever communicate in Dutch anymore, or with people who have similar interests.

I haven't had many opportunities to practice my social skills offline. I am using an online social platform however, that operates via a VR headset, and that space is filled with communities of geeks and nerds and weeaboos, so that has been my primary source of social fun time.

I got my 4 cats since about half a year before the pandemic hit the Netherlands, so social distancing and isolation has in short is helping to turn me into the crazy cat hermit I predicted I'd become a couple years ago, it's only happening at an accelerated rate now. I'm quickly losing interest in whetting my offline social skills and I'm not really seeing the urgency of re-learning what skills I've lost. If anything, the situation has made me realize how of overrated importance it was in the first place that I venture outside my house to meet people, even people of like minds. It was always a headache, now I guess that headache is gone and I see offline social interactions for what they are: a nuisance distracting me from pursuing my interests in peace and quiet, and deflecting me from having wonderful interactions online that are in a better-controlled environment.


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