Social rules
If you’re at a party, for instance, sitting in a large group, and two/three people are having a conversation with eachother, not making eye contact with anyone else.. is it ok to laugh and chime in? I was at a party last night and kept doing this as I wasn’t involved in any conversation by their choice.. sometimes I’d reply and get a response back. I’ve also done this at restaurants with large groups when I’m not originally involved in conversation. I wonder if I come across as weird/annoying doing this.
JerryM
Sea Gull
Joined: 21 May 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 244
Location: A pillowy cloud in the place dreams are made
Some people consider it rude to invite yourself into the conversation or chime in if you aren't a part of it. I've found just saying something like "couldn't help overhearing ____" and then saying your piece will usually help a little but there's gonna be people who don't appreciate you listening in, even if you say something like that. Just a friendly warning.
I don't always quite know what to do in this situation either. It's hard to just sit there quietly waiting for someone to talk to you. I think if the people are close family and good friends they probably won't mind you chiming in. Or you can just listen and make eye contact, and then they'll make eye contact with you and you'll sort of then be drawn into the conversation. But some people do get stupidly touchy when it comes to chiming in their conversations. I don't mind when people do that if I'm having a conversation. It's only annoying when someone outside the conversation interrupts and changes the subject or "steals the spotlight" or something, which isn't what you were doing.
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Female
Thanks everyone. I had trouble socializing at this party as I felt that everyone had their own conversations and would be totally fine if I wasn’t there. My girlfriend is very social so she left me and I was left to talk to others alone, and often ran into this situation where I’d nod my head and laugh at others conversations that I wasn’t really a part of... I even chimed in to a conversation once at the party and a guy looked at me and completely ignored me... Luckily I found a couple (who seemed to be on the spectrum themselves) and hung out with them the rest of the night. I think my problem was these people knew eachother, and I was just meeting them.. but I’d like to learn how to intermingle and be a part of group conversations without being awkward/unwanted..
If you didn't know any of these people then it's understandable that you found it hard what to do, even some NTs would feel the same.
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Female
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