Adult friend making advice.

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What are some good ways for someone as a adult to go about making other young adult & adult aged friends? Either through things you enjoy or some how get involved with the community. My goal is to find good people to either chill with or network through. How have y’all went about doing this as a adult?

Honestly, I've never done well at this. I'm not good at talking, I always feel awkward. I'm honestly surprised I have friends, but God has been good to me.

Honestly the old book “how to win friends and influence people” helped me a lot.

I will have to look up that book

Here is a link to the book reviews (look for the text "Get A Copy" on the page to buy)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/486 ... nce_People

To find in a library check your local library web site or here:

https://www.worldcat.org/title/how-to-w ... sView=true

This book helped me with networking:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/693 ... r_Changers

This is another book that came to mind:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/270 ... Social_Spy

And I once read an article by a journalist with autism who claimed that this book changed his life:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57104311-etiquette

The updated version:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/161 ... _Etiquette

i can't say that book would be for me. i've never felt a desire to influence people (except for my parents when i was in my teen years). i would like to have good, close friends but the process of becoming friends feels too awkward in advance, even if they do talk to me. that and i am older and want to be friends with a few people that are younger.

I would suggest getting involved in groups of people that do things together other than just socializing.

When groups of people get together just to socialize, they tend naturally to be cliquish, unless they specifically make an effort not to be cliquish. Most people, especially most women, naturally feel more comfortable talking to people they already know than to strangers.

So it's probably better to go to groups devoted to specific activities, such as games, or discussion of specific topics you are interested in.

I've made a few friends from coworkers in the past if we had similar interests, so if you have anyone like that you're friendly with at work. Maybe ask them if they want to do something like grab lunch or a coffee together sometime or even go to the movies or something that's a mutual interest. I've also met a few people playing magic the gatherinng at my local card shop that I talk to sometimes, try something like that a place catering to a hobby. if you live in a bigger area there's also apps like meet up too for that kinda thing

I have made the best friends through my "special interests". I sat down one day and picked apart the lifelong friendships I have made . We are all from the same community/ socioeconomic groups. We lived locally , within traveling distance of each other when we met. We had intense interests in common, and we bonded over discussions and sharing info in that area. Over time we began to meet to do our interest related stuff together sometimes. As we did these things we also learned more about our families and friends, and more about each other's lives. This took several years and was not accomplished over night. When we moved 9 years ago to this community I did not know anybody. I joined several FB pages about my interests. A couple were within the state, and I found while discussing interests on those pages, I found a few local people who I enjoyed interacting with, sharing photos, comments, etc about our interests. From that, it led to meeting in public a few times. We each had our own transportation so we could leave whenever we wanted and did not depend on anybody else for a ride (to be able to leave for overwhelm or safety reasons for example). Some I met I was sure I would never want to see again, others I have begun to seek out off and on to do our shared interest activities together. I still participate in those groups and have met over time some good ones. The key here is to take it slow and let interests lead us to be more interactive with each other. If I had pushed for get togethers right after joining the group, I am sure it would have caused others to shut down and block me or at least be worried about my being anxious and aggressive in pursuit. I am so glad today we have FB and forums like this one. I do not do well in unplanned or even planned "real time" face to face meetings with others. Communicating by message/ text and on line conversations is much easier and allows people to get to know each other and build toward possible friendship over a period of time. Relating first over our shared interests made that part much easier and allowed me an "in" to interacting with others. Best wishes!

Thank-you for your responses!

Issues discussed in the 'Adult Friend Making Advice' and similar discussion threads are issues needing a boost!

Similar discussion thread here in the 'Social Skills & Making Friends' Forum: 'Friendships W/People Receptive To Adults On Autism Spectrum.'

Writing about such experiences here on WP can also serve to boost personal confidence!