Bullied into adulthood

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I was bullied, judged and made fun of until I was taught a trick by my counselor at the time, which I can only describe as "changing the tapes" in my mind. It is very hard to explain, but I basically changed the subconscious self-talk that was negative and self-hating, and somehow (I have no idea how so don't ask me!), that stopped all the bullying and judging around me. Literally almost overnight. Like I said, I can't explain it and don't know how it works, I only know it did. Would it work for anyone else? I don't know. The only way for a person to know would be to try it.

The most important thing to know about it is that for a while you'll have to stay "on top of it". EVERY time you feel ugly, dumb, different, or someone has judged, insulted, or mistreated you, you simply tell yourself NO, that is not true! I am _____ (fill in the blank with any contradicting positive statements). After you've done that long enough, it will become second nature and you won't even have to consciously do it.

I hope this works for anyone who reads this. The freedom I experienced because it is beyond what I could ever express. I actually have a hope of living a SOMEWHAT normal life as a result.

Dill's rule:

If he's in a group of people, the longer he is, the odds of being bullied increases until it's a certainty. It doesn't matter that I'm almost always the most physically intimidating, as if you're a social/emotional pushover that can't respond to it verbally, you're passive and don't interact with others socially, the bullying will be on the way as some hyenas will see something there to boost their own standing, then others joins in.

Combine that with the sensory issues when around groups of people, and it's why I avoid groups. This obviously makes schooling and basic jobs a bother. I never have problems with individuals. This is why long distance learning and self-employment are needed for me.

Good to hear from some more members.
I believe that those of us on this board are much more likely to have experienced bullying than the average person.

I really like the last few posts about this because I think we get into a habit of worrying about what other people think of us which is not a healthy pattern. I especially love the post where you learn to tell yourself that yourself that you are all these things.

Also, when you think of it, anyone who expects you to to worship their opinion about it is a very selfish person who probably doesn't want anyone else to be happy unless they are.

I have learned that yes, there are people who like to bully just to push your buttons but it's clear that people like that just do those things for the sake of getting attention. It's not always easy to ignore but thanks to things like headphones, you can listen to positive things.

Also, here are some other reasons why people bully people on the spectrum

1. People pick on others because they have personal things that are going on in their own lives, so when they see that an autistic, they most likely are picking on us because they are trying to get the attention off themselves

2. They bully because they don't know how to handle the situation

3. They bully because they autistics are seen at the bottom of a "Social status" because we are disabled. Therefore, they have been taught they are better and superior to us

4. As I talked about before, we have autistics who feel very insecure and do what they want to look and act like a neurotypical. So they act out number 3

5. You also have people who are narcissists and because they think in black and white, they tend to dislike anyone who is other.

6. You have people like socio and psychopaths who will bully autistics out of spite.

7. You have adults who bully because they are followers of a ring leader who taught them "Hey, that person is weird, don't be friends with them."

On point 6 from Summer Twilight; In addition I believe there is more psychopaths then get credit for it.

People often set and have expectations of other adults in particular settings and situations and especially if the rules are unwritten. If you attend a club or some sort of church group, you're automatically expected to follow suit. Along with not appearing to fit in socially, the leaders of these groups tend to find ways to pick on us.


I am also going to talk about roommates since this applies to making friends and unwritten rules too. In a roommate situation, it's not really about making friends. Rather, it's similar to having colleagues and following the guidelines of the roommate agreement. Sometimes those expectations aren't always met and the roommates might not have the patience. Again, they think we are doing things on purpose so bullying takes place.

I was bullied all through my childhood and, to a certain degree, through young adulthood.

I live in a small town in a quiet area and I don’t work so I’m not often in contact with people other than my immediate family, so no I don’t get bullied. If I put myself out there, tried to make friends, volunteered etc I definitely think I’d get bullied, hence why I keep to myself.

A few other things to note:

1. Adults can be bullies to people when they are a part of a clique as you usually have the leader of the pack to sets all kinds of social rules and norms. Meanwhile the others are so eager to fit in that they will follow these rules because they are social creatures who want to be able to fit in and not stand out. That means being mean and rude to anyone on the outside that the leader doesn't approve of.

2. I have had special needs parents of adult children bully me because they are set in their ways about all people with disabilities being less than they are.

3. I also get bullied because I am very outspoken and honest

I still get bullied but it's much more snide remarks and passive aggressive stuff. There is also really unhelpful and unthinking stuff in the workplace.

On the former I think people can sense when you are gentle and wont bite back, and some just can't help but attack you to enhance or solidify their perceived social rank. Just seems so pointless.

On the latter something recent that has really got me upset is when the head of our division commented on a mini presentation I did and focused only on my behaviour rather than the content and results. They just said I was clearly very nervous and that I needed to be confident, commanding, and slick to get ahead. Great, thank you, those are the things I can't change and are manifestations of my ASD. I don't even work in an area where those things should matter, it's all technical work.

Has this gotten worse or better for anyone lately?
I wonder if it changes with people's attitudes and conditions of the economy?

I have been “midly” bullied during my school years, never physical beatings but always psychological offences. It took its toll and now I am seeing a psychologist 1 time x month.

As an Adult though, there is nobody who dares to challenge me or offend me as a Man. I am tall, quite big and I make my appearance. If someone dares to offend me I Don’t care honestly now that I am adult.
If someone dares to touch me, he’s in for a lot of troubles cause first I will beat him back and second I will go to the police and explain the whole history along with witnesses if available.