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Most of social skills comes down to just practice

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r@y
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 26 Sep 2023
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34

04 Jan 2024, 11:30 am

BillyTree wrote:
I don't think it's that easy. When I was young I didn't know I was autistic. I put in a lot of effort in "learning social skills" and I got really good at it on a superficial level. I got popular among friends and a lot of girls and later women were attracted to me. Problem was it was a mask. I had to keep people at a distance or they would discover that the image that they had of me was false. Women didn't fell in love with me but this image I had created. I hung out with at lot of people but I didn't feel any real connection with them. I was an actor playing a charismatic neurotypical character. I still do that to a large extent at work. Now for me the challenge is to resist the impuls to take the easy way and mask for popularity instead of being myself and get the chance to form some genuine relations with likeminded people.


Oh. Is this why I can not connect with people and don't let anyone get close to me?



belijojo
Veteran
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Joined: 4 Dec 2023
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,033

04 Jan 2024, 11:32 am

I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, play a beautiful character and manipulate it to interact with other beautiful characters, which seems to be the case for everyone.


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jillsurf12
Hummingbird
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Joined: 13 Sep 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 22
Location: Brazil

12 Jan 2024, 10:09 am

I've been studying this so called "social skills", and it got close to nothing as a result, I can just interact with good people and it's mostly just 30% of people around me and mostly 1 or 2% are woman and the rest is men, mostly are old or too young like kids, as a young woman, let's just say that to learn this is very much impossible to dominate or freshly do it without problem, I have clear boundaries and limits for most people to talk casually with me and when it get too personal, I advise that i'm too honest and straight when I communicate. Lolol expect they will understand is just begging to be humiliated and be pointed as the "super weirdo" in the block.