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shadexiii
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07 Oct 2007, 3:35 pm

maritimeblaze17 wrote:
Again I've been on the receiving end of what has happened to you on many occasions. The ones who take the time to tell you what's wrong are your real friends. The ones who drop you and don't make an attempt aren't.

shadexiii wrote:
if someone is willing to tell you what exactly you did that was annoying or off-putting to them, and help you understand why, because they want what is best for you, then sure, they are worth keeping as a friend.

I don't see how we are disagreeing here.... Image



crazyllama
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11 Oct 2007, 8:05 pm

I think some Aspies are so desperate to have friends that some manipulative people will take advantage of our lonlieness and exploit us in exchange for their "friendship".



maritimeblaze17
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12 Oct 2007, 6:38 pm

You're 100% right about that. I used to do that. I'd do favors for people who needed them in the hope that they'd become my friends. I'd often go out of my way at my own expense for people who didn't appreciate in the vain hope that they would treat me well. It almost always never worked. And I ended being used and taken advantage of.



matrix
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12 Oct 2007, 10:51 pm

maritimeblaze17 wrote:
You're 100% right about that. I used to do that. I'd do favors for people who needed them in the hope that they'd become my friends. I'd often go out of my way at my own expense for people who didn't appreciate in the vain hope that they would treat me well. It almost always never worked. And I ended being used and taken advantage of.


Sometimes, at my part-time at Cracker Barrel, I come off as a doormat, so look out once you enter the workplace especially. This really inept hostess decided she had non-contagious pneumonia and her grandmother with glaucoma picking her up. Guewho softened up to that LIE and worked her closing hours :x


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skippy
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14 Oct 2007, 8:20 pm

I had male friend (user whatever the je** was) tell me ,"I am popular and you are not! No one will believe you,you do not have any friends you need me!" Was a great Jerry Springer time of my life! He was definately a user and predator!



no_reason91
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19 Oct 2007, 3:22 pm

i am kinda like anti friend or something like that .i dont make friends.people form friendship with me.and most of the time the person i like to be friend or i really like turn out to be my backstabber,bully and spreads rumours,ans tell others how weired i am(even though they appear more friendly than others before me)



serenity
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21 Oct 2007, 10:52 pm

WhiskeryBeast wrote:
It's good to know that other people are going through the same things as I am. I find most people are the ones that drain me emotionally. They always want me to drop everything to comfort them and then when I need some sympathy, they are no where to be found. I wonder if they just treat me this way, or if they treat other NT's this way to? Do NT's just not see this or do they have a special way of dealing with this?

I would desperatly like friends, but can't seem to choose the "right" ones for me.

Same here. I'm notorious for picking out friends that have "issues" so to speak. You know the sort, real drama queens, ect... I think there's something in my body language that screams naive, and maybe a little desperate. I am much better at spotting those kinds of people now then I used to be. I have cut those kinds of toxic friends from my life, but now I'm quite lonely.



Kitsy
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23 Oct 2007, 8:09 am

Brittany2907 wrote:
I'm not good at making friends.
If I do end up making "friends" with someone they will end up using me for money, or just boss me around, or end up starting nasty rumours about me and pretending to be my friend.
I have met great people online, but everyone in real life just seems to be really mean and horrible.
Why do I end up making friends with the wrong people?
Do any of you do this?


We're on the same boat with making the wrong friends. I think..emphasize THINK it's because for me anyway, I'm generally accepting of other's faults and if the wrong person picks up on that, they may use that against me and instead of being happy that someone isn't going to treat them like s**t, they turn it around and use it to exploit someone for their own selfish reasons.

I've become so aware of it in fact that it's rare that I meet a person that isn't like that.


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blossom_bottom
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23 Oct 2007, 9:13 am

I have made a few bad friends before. They are not friends with me anymore now.



lonelyheart
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23 Oct 2007, 5:17 pm

blossom_bottom wrote:
I have made a few bad friends before. They are not friends with me anymore now.


I second that.



me_______them
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25 Oct 2007, 3:49 am

My friends in high school were just about the worst move I could make. Smoking pot to make them like me was not a good thing as I liked it so much as a way to escape that I did it all the time and am now having trouble stopping. It's even worse because now that I'm in college my roommate smokes and I can't know he's going to smoke without smoking. My favorite part though was when my "friends" needed me to drive them on some crime sprees and now I face the blame.



LePetitPrince
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25 Oct 2007, 4:58 pm

my school's best friend (we were friends since the age of 7) was a son of a VIP lebanese Baath member (the lebanese Baath : a small Lebanese version of Baath party in Lebanon that doesn't believe in Lebanon's identity but it believes that Lebanon must be a part of Syria , this party was the real ruler of lebanon for about 30 years during the Syrian occupation ), i was kid when i first met him and I wasn't really aware about these political/nationalism issues . We had a some things in common and we were always together most of time in the recesses and even after school(zip it! i am straight!) but he was kinda possessive sometimes , our friendships started to fall at first year of high school by a small political debate , it's when i told what I think about the Baath's ideology as unpatriotic ideology and i am against it , he took that personally and things went from bad to worse . With his brother ,he started to make phonecall-threats like " if you are man , step out the house ..we're waiting outside to teach you some lesson" or " wanna go out to buy some bread today?" , "where's your sister?" ....etc .

at first tie I thought he was calling me from his home just to scary me but I spotted him and his brother outside from my window: they were always outside . Next day , I hit him and he hit me back and we fought later a couple of times at school ,

These phone threats continued DAILY after school and police couldn't dare to do a thing against abt it since his family was "backed-up" , note to mention that most police high officers at that time were assigned by the Syrian regime . Things only pacified a bit when his father interfered and told him to stop spoiling his image ....but he stayed my enemy till the end of school .



OrangeWedge
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25 Oct 2007, 10:00 pm

First I'd like to say Hello! I just found this site and have been reading through. It's interesting how most people here more or less think the same as I do.

I've been through lots of "sets" of friends throughout school. To this day there is not one friend from school who I am still in contact with (except for a few acquaintances who only talk to me when they want something. :x )

From what I've read in this thread so far it seems like some people have had experiences where others have basically gone against them. This has happened to me countless times and was very much undeserved. One of my best friends - I'd like to say the *second* best friend I have ever had - suddenly stopped talking to me one day without reason. Upon finally getting ahold of her via phone two weeks later, she broke down to tears and told me how awful I was. She claimed I was abusive, mean, hated all her friends, and completely ungrateful. Her words couldn't have been farther from the truth, though. In fact I liked and was friends with all of her friends (until they all ceased contact after she went nuts) and I never argued with her for a single moment. It seems to be a common thing that these kinds of people - NT's I guess you all call them - freak out around people like us without any apparent reason.

Anyway...thought I'd share my thoughts on this...and again... I'm glad to have found this site. Hello! :D



Tim_Tex
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25 Oct 2007, 10:09 pm

OrangeWedge wrote:
First I'd like to say Hello! I just found this site and have been reading through. It's interesting how most people here more or less think the same as I do.

I've been through lots of "sets" of friends throughout school. To this day there is not one friend from school who I am still in contact with (except for a few acquaintances who only talk to me when they want something. :x )

From what I've read in this thread so far it seems like some people have had experiences where others have basically gone against them. This has happened to me countless times and was very much undeserved. One of my best friends - I'd like to say the *second* best friend I have ever had - suddenly stopped talking to me one day without reason. Upon finally getting ahold of her via phone two weeks later, she broke down to tears and told me how awful I was. She claimed I was abusive, mean, hated all her friends, and completely ungrateful. Her words couldn't have been farther from the truth, though. In fact I liked and was friends with all of her friends (until they all ceased contact after she went nuts) and I never argued with her for a single moment. It seems to be a common thing that these kinds of people - NT's I guess you all call them - freak out around people like us without any apparent reason.

Anyway...thought I'd share my thoughts on this...and again... I'm glad to have found this site. Hello! :D


Welcome to WP!

Tim


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WhiskeryBeast
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30 Oct 2007, 9:07 pm

serenity wrote:
WhiskeryBeast wrote:
It's good to know that other people are going through the same things as I am. I find most people are the ones that drain me emotionally. They always want me to drop everything to comfort them and then when I need some sympathy, they are no where to be found. I wonder if they just treat me this way, or if they treat other NT's this way to? Do NT's just not see this or do they have a special way of dealing with this?

I would desperatly like friends, but can't seem to choose the "right" ones for me.

Same here. I'm notorious for picking out friends that have "issues" so to speak. You know the sort, real drama queens, ect... I think there's something in my body language that screams naive, and maybe a little desperate. I am much better at spotting those kinds of people now then I used to be. I have cut those kinds of toxic friends from my life, but now I'm quite lonely.


That's just the thing. I'm now really lonely. Not that having them as a friend was enriching, it wasn't, but at least I had someone who was gernally nice to me when the mood hit her.



kittenfluffies
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02 Nov 2007, 12:58 pm

When I was younger and more naive, I befriended a lot of "toxic" people - people who play mind games and have ulterior motives. As I have gotten older and a little less naive, I have learned to step back and be very careful about who gets into my life.


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