Social expectations that make no sense to you

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what are some social expectations that confuse you, that make you wonder "why?"
They can be common in society or just with people you know.
I don't get why
- If you are a young couple that have just gotten married people will continually ask "when are you going to have kids?" (This happens to people I work with)
- If you are over 30 and single, people will ask you continually "when are you going to get married?"
- The weather always comes up in small talk. is it because you are unlikely to offend anybody talking about the weather all the time?

I don't know if this is the same thing but it drives me nuts when people see me reading a book and say "romance novel"?
or eating a salad and saying "are you on a diet?"

Also, people expect you to be ambitious and can't understand if you're not.

I put this down to people being thoughtless. They just open their mouths and the words fall out. Many people still have it drummed into them that the next step after marriage is babies.



Also thoughtless. People don't ask me this anymore because I give them a look like I'm trying really hard to refrain from punching them - which I am. Leave me alone, no one loves me ok.



I do usually talk about the weather because it is inoffensive and I live in Scotland. You get 4 seasons in one day here and the weather is always doing something that you can comment on. If it was sunny all the time I don't know what us Scots would use as small talk. After mentioning the weather I usually then don't know what to say after that.

Things that don't make sense to me:

Why do you have to ask how much a baby weighs when it is born? The answer means nothing to me.

Why do sales people ask me "how are you?" when they phone. I don't know them and I don't want them to know how I am and I don't want to know how they are.

I hate "How are you?"
How am I supposed to answer? Can I say "I haven't a clue" (it's true, I usually don't understand what is going on inside me).
Or "I am mildly depressed and bored, thank you very much. How are you?"
Usually it is some senior staff member who asks me, and I hate giving false smiles and saying "Good thanks ........ Oh, and how are you?"
At least my ordinary colleagues just say "Hi", which doesn't need any answer except "hi" back.

I likewise never know how to answer that one. It depends on who asks. Normally I show up to work with my fake smile (I work with kids, they always know if something is up) and attempt to look friendly to everyone else. People ask, I think, because they've been conditioned to do so or it's just become habit. I do the same because it would make people uncomfortable if I didn't.

It's kinda like that Temple Grandin movie on HBO when she gets all excited meeting someone new that she forgets common courtesies like proper introductions. With greetings, we're always supposed to be happy and cheerful.

At least I have a few friends who ask me that and I can say, "Oh, I don't know... I've got a headache, I'm coming down with hand-mouth-and-foot disease, one of my favorite piano students quit today, and the front doorknob fell off. I guess things could be worse. How about you?"

1. Most people get married to start a family.
2. Most people want to be married by the time they are 30...see above point.
3. People don't know how to just be quiet...it's considered not being friendly, but a "safe" topic is hard to find. I suppose the weather became the default setting for pointless conversation.

"People’s mind is condition to a mold and expects you to enter that mold"

"What's up?"
"Nothing."

That one is weird. I used to say "Good." Then someone told me that I should say "nothing" so I said "nothing" from then on.

- It is rude to ask how much I earn, but it is not rude to ask if I am going to reproduce or maybe I can't? I don't get it.
- The same...
- The weather is always at hand. If you forget what interesting you could talk about, you always have the weather.
Yeah! Like everyone must be the same.
And yeah, I hate "How are you?". Probably there are more such things I find ridiculous but my memory is temporary empty

"How are you?" was the first thing that came into my mind, too. I have trained myself to answer something noncommital like "pretty good," so being asked doesn't bother me that much anymore (unless something is really on my mind) but I just can't bring myself to respond, "how about you?" or whatever the hell it is you're supposed to respond. I can never remember or it just seems so phony. Perhaps I should ask someone exactly what it is I should say and practice.

Kids: I answer that question honestly and I don't give a damn. My fiance and I probably won't be having any at this point, unless we adopt. I don't care if babies is "supposed" to be the next step after marriage. I think people just need to accept that some folks aren't going to breed madly like rabbits right after tying the knot. Isn't it a better idea to have some time to yourself as a couple first, anyway?

How are you: I've been using "pretty good" as my standard answer, but might be changing that a bit. I know that it's an unconscious attempt at social oil, but I wonder what would happen if I give a literal answer. I think asking it's stupid unless you want the real answer.

Weather: Ohio can have four seasons in one day too, so talking about it is kind of interesting. I think again, it's an attempt at social oil. I don't mind it so much, because I'm a bit fascinated with (however much I hate it) Ohio weather.

I ask "How are you?" all the time.

And this is pretty much the kind of answer I want when I ask.

I usually just say "Eh, so-so", though.

People, especially girls, going up to and hugging every person in the corridor they recognise.

I don't understand Job applications. I got done with one within 10min which shocked my job coach she was like "you are done already!" Me ya. For example one question are you happy with your life. UH NO! (normal answer would be fake s**t!! !!) Of course my job coach said people don't want hear how I truly feel that's for when you actually have the job. Me: Oh uh ok.

I have no desire whatsoever to be married OR have kids! Why...the very idea of living with someone else is physically and mentally draining - let alone actually DOING it!! !! Therefore, I absolutely DETEST this line of questioning and I answer with forthright honesty!

The thing that really irks me is that people automatically assume that because you don't want a wife and kids that you must be gay. What does THAT say for all the gay people who WANT KIDS???? It's STOOpid, really.

The weather is something that comes up between me and a friend from KC a lot. He even sent some videos of the recent snowstorm they had there and asked if we were braced for it.

When strangers do it, it's annoying. Hey, look...if you just don't have anything of substance and need to talk about, LEAVE ME ALONE!

I feel like this is one of the few places I can come to and say that and feel okay doing it. The rest of the world thinks you're being an a***hole for it. But I can't begin to describe how it affects me when people do things of that nature.

Guys, particularly adolescent ones, doing that handshake thing whenever they see their "homeboys" or whatever. I always thought that was weird.

It also annoys me that people tend to be in a hurry to get married before they turn 30. I know why they do it, because they feel pressured by society, but I never really understood why it's so important to marry off before turning 30. I know of some people who got married immediately or a few years after graduating high school.